The List #39

Morning Glories #2
Writer: Nick Spencer
Artist: Joe Eisma
Considering how quickly the first two issues keep selling out and my eternal reverence for Nick Spencer after Forgetless, I feel pressured to like this book more than I actually do. Don't get me wrong, it's a good book, but so far I don't see what makes it so amazing.

I'm also not sure how to take this book. I assumed it would start out with introductions to the characters as the string of weird, ominous occurences weaved themselves into the story. Instead, the school has been obnoxiously upfront about how they're up to something. This issue we've got Casey's parents killed because they wouldn't cooperate with the school, attempted stabbing, cults, and near-drowning of the students just so Casey would answer a pop quiz question. While I see why Spencer would avoid the traditional, build-it-up route, I feel like the story suffers because of it.

These life-or-death, tense situations these characters have been through already don't affect me as much as the should because I don't really care about any of these characters yet. I also have to reiterate that Spencer's comparison of this series to Runaways makes me think that this series' is also having a rough start just to get the basics out of the way before smooth storytelling can happen. In the end, I'm not sure how to feel about this series besides it's good, I'm just not sure where it's going.

New Mutants #17
Writer: Zeb Wells
Artist: Leonard Kirk
So far I'm really not feeling this Magik-centered arc. First off, I'm really sick of this ongoing story of restoring Magik to her former self as well as visit Limbo every two minutes for barely minimal development just so that no one can deem the entire mini-series/arc completely useless. This has lasted way too long, and really just needs to go away now. Magik's not cool or interesting enough to hold up so many arcs/mini-series and this is made even worse by the fact that it's not even Magik, it's 'Darkchylde'. A summarized version of my response to this drawn out Magik story is perfectly encapsulated in [this].

On the other hand, [this] conversation found in the previews is classic prelude to a drunken makeout. Seriously, I've had this conversation, everyone I know has had that conversation, and I even saw it happen this weekend. Oh the joys of watching people trying to come up with an excuse to kiss each other. Anyway, Wells did this part....well (heh) but in the end I have to say this current arc should be avoided.

Thunderbolts #148
Writer: Jeff Parker
Artist: Declan Shalvey
My thoughts on Thunderbolts are a bit funny. When I think of it after not reading it for awhile I tend to regard it as mediocre, but as soon as I read another issue I remember that it's actually a good book. I think the problem is that this book doesn't really wow me at any point, it's just this continuous serving of good with no real variation.

This issue there's a new artist on board who's an improvement over Kev Walker, but still similar enough so that the change isn't jarring. The scene with the Thunderbolts dealing with the normal prisoners was definitely one of interest, but besides that it was sort of a standard issue. I'd say if you have some pocket change to spare, pick this book up, but otherwise, this book is pretty forgettable.



X-Factor #209
Writer: Peter David
Artist: Emanuela Lupacchino
This series is the only one this week that really got me excited to know more as well as gave me something comment on (for better or for worse).

The Rahne/Rictor drama, despite my loathing of Rahne, is really what is keeping this book exciting as it was moved along minimally this time around so that the reverbations of what's going on can be fully felt. This issue, Jamie went up to see Rahne and it was revealed that he knows about her involvement with X-Force. There was also a questioning moment where everyone wondered if one of Jamie's dupes got Rahne pregnant. Even though I wish Rahne dead, her presence brings back a familiarity of the X-Factor book when it was really fun and remarkable.

The events of the Hela story are less than interesting, but we did finally see Longshot do something this issue and he was even somewhat likable then. The two most notable things this issue are notable for two completely differents reasons and they are:

[This] comment made by Guido is the last straw with me. Previously, I've thought of Guido as a somewhat likable, but ultimately superfluous character that David keeps around because Guido's someone developed specifically under his hand. Now I'm just so sick of Strong Guy's what seems to be feigned 'tolerance' ('tolerant' attitudes already being an issue with me) as he makes these homophobic comments. Especially since I've heard all these comments before, they're intended to seem like 'jokes' so that partially serious feelings can be vented and no one can call them out on it as it's supposed to be a 'joke'. No, seriously, this bro-y version of homophobia needs to stop because it wasn't funny the first few times, but now this latest comment really takes the shitcake. I am not amused.

On a lighter note, Shatterstar's need to fight everyone he sees this issue seems to be evidence that he's bothered by Rictor's baby daddy issues. Which is good considering my previous thoughts on how he didn't seem committed to the relationship. In the end, I want to see these two together, and so I find this a positive development as the main concern I had for 'Star's wanting to fuck around was that he wasn't as invested in the relationship as Rictor was.

Conclusion: X-Factor really is much-improved to the point where I'd say it's back to the quality it was at around the 'Isolationist' arc which is something we haven't seen in awhile. While it is indeed a bit overdramatic with the soap opera of Ric/Rahne, it's still an addicting storyline. Definitely pick up X-Factor as it is the best book released this week.

The List 37

New Avengers #3
Writer: Brian Michael Bendis
Artist: Stuart Immomen
This. Issue. Is. So. Chatty.
To open, this issue the dimension of the world tears and all sorts of demons are let out. The New Avengers engage them in battle and from there it is a complete and total chat-fest. We learn crucial information about our heroes such as Ms. Marvel has never seen Ghostbusters. Normally casual dialogue during a fight scene would have been welcome, even entertaining, but considering the amount of it and who it was between made it excessive. Who was it between you now may wonder? Spider-Man and The Thing. I understand it's part of Spider-Man's 'thing' to yak like my Aunt Louise, but Bendis was beating us over the head with it this time. And of course, everything The Thing says annoys the piss out of me.

Meanwhile, Jessica had a solo battle scene as she attempted to get to the Avengers Mansion, and that was decent for what it was. Except she was going to get her fricking child who needs to make like Wanda's kids and disappear until its needed for a teen series. Also, in the end she got overwhelmed by the demons, but was saved by the timely arrival of Vicky Hand...

...And a massive fucking gun!!

Seriously, who'd she steal this thing off of, Cable in the 90's? Anyway, she's starting to prove she's actually useful to the team, and that's all well and good. Meanwhile, Iron Fist is trapped in a dimension of whiteout with two disembodied voices bickering over what they need to do to get the Eye of Agamotto from him. It's finally revealed that the person trying to get to the Eye as well as this arc's main villain is none other than Dr. Strange's former master/teacher/magic trainer guy. Oh noes!

Also during this issue the magic guys are in perpetual state of bitchery with each other over what needs to be done. They can't even get their shit together to quickly leave the fight scene to discuss what needs to be done. It seriously took so many word bubbles before they left, I can't believe one of the Avengers didn't turn around and bitch at them to knock it off. At the very least Daimon Hellstrom remained shirtless and in tight leather pants the whole time, so it wasn't a total waste of page time. Ohhhh just look at him pose all sexy-like.

Hey now, stop playing with your nipples while Dr. Strange is talking!

...On second thought, keep going. At least it's something new considering once the magic guys finally left they ended up having a conversation that only repeated what was gone on. It's like I said: This issue is CHATTY.

Conclusion: This issue was one of my 'more-fun-to-make-fun-of' issues. It was good in some parts...like the Daimon Hellstrom ones. He's just bucking to be my new comic book boyfriend considering my former boyfriend Warpath is now exiled to the terrifying void of character limbo. But seriously, this issue's excessive chatter will probably grate on your nerves, so beware.

Avengers Academy #3
Writer: Christos Gaga
Artist: Mike McKone
This issue opens by expanding on Hazmat's past and how her powers ruined her near-perfect life and how Osborn continued to screw it up. Which is foreshadowing of things to come.

Reptil finally got his kiss from Finesse this issue. It was weird, mainly because the way Finesse is so robotic about it makes her seem like she's doing it for money...ya know? And of course after that Stryker makes a comment on how there are a few things he hasn't tried, but luckily, Finesse is not interested.

The A.A. instructors (which I'm sure for a few of them works both ways) are having a themed week of having the students work with superheroes like Iron Fist and Valkyrie. The one to actually care about is Valkyrie's appearance talking to the girls because with it we get this revelation--->

Tygra's a feminist? Seriously? So now I have to take her seriously instead of just comparing her to Tyra Banks? Dammit. Oh well, I'm sure I'll have a problem with her brand of feminism, I already dislike that she's bringing up her status as a feminist as a nuisance. For f@#$'s sake, Ty-Ty, don't play to that 'annoying feminist' crap, half the people who are tired of it barely have a f$%ing clue what it's about. Someone who's got their shit right though is Valkyrie:

I love her for this!

I know, I'm male, I shouldn't side with female supremacy, but I'm a big supporter of women saying, 'I'll do it my goddamned self, useless male!' especially with that mindf#@% Twilight being as popular as it is. Anyway, might actually tune into the Valkyrie one-shot coming up next week if there's more independent woman-loving goodness in it.

Meanwhile it turns out there's a big 'Scared Straight' thing going on soon with the students visiting The Raft that houses the Thunderbolts as well as many supervillans including Normy Norm. With this, Hazmat is planning to go fuck Osborn's day up when they get to The Raft, and manages to get Veil and Mettle in on it. Also it seems we're going to be having 'A Very Special Avengers Academy' soon as it seems Speedball is still cutting to feel.

The A.A.'s tour of The Raft is sketchy to start off with. And by sketchy I mean it's lucky that the cell doors have no holes in them because it would've been Silence of the Lambs all over again. Ugh. Ghost and Juggernaut are brought in individually to talk to the students, and Ghost goes off ranting about 'THE MAN' and just serving to reinforce my dislike for those types (as a college goer I encounter them and their Che Guevara shirts frequently). Juggernaut is oddly straightforward and helpful which is surprising since I thought he was still in "IM EVIL AGAIN!" mode. Oh well, guess that means his power levels are all of a sudden reduced again as well....

From there she recognizes he's using his angsty Penance energy signature rather than his Speedball one. And with that another point goes to Dr. Karla Sofen.

It seems Moonstone was called in to evaluate the kids as a group through observation. She's less than helpful, but at least she gets a massive dig in at Speedball. I don't actually have anything against Robbie, I just bitches being bitchy. From there Hazmat causes a blackout where her, Mettle, and Veil sneak off to go visit Osborn, and that pretty much leads to the events of the connecting issue of Thunderbolts.

Conclusion, this issue is a bit of a letdown considering the previous issues, but it's still a decent one, especially the Valkyrie part.

Thunderbolts #147
Writer: Jeff Parker
Artist: Kev Walker
Did sales really plummet during Dark Reign or something? Because it seems there's a big push to get the Thunderbolts to mix it up with all the newer series as well as the latest crossover. I mean let's look at is: There's this issue with the A.A., the next two issues tie-in to Shadowland, and after that is a crossover between them and the Avengers. I know that even before Ellis' run, Thunderbolts has been a book that usually connects to other events going on in the MU (Civil War, Secret Invasion), but they generally stuck to one for at least an arc those times.

Returning to the cliffhanger of four Thunderbolts left to take on the creatures in the cave, it seems even in reduced numbers they can make short work of the creatures. A point of interest is Man-Thing saving Moonstone from one of the things with her saying, "I'll be staying on your good side." Yeah, and hoping Man-Thing doesn't remember that you were there when Ares chopped him in half I bet. (Speaking of my favorite god besides Jean, apparently Ares is getting resurrected soon! Yay comic book deaths!)

From there we get a brief look at the aftermath and then the next scene is directly after the blackout happens with the prisoners getting out. Songbird encounters trouble with this and Moonstone does the right thing:

Unfortunately, instead of Songbird and her bad haircut getting violently murdered by the overwhelming number of prisoners attacking her, the Troll girl they picked up last issue ends up helping her and saving the day. As if I didn't already dislike this 'raised-in-the-wild!!' character as it was, now she's just adding fuel to the hate fire by helping the ever-annoying Songbird. You can bet Moonstone and I were less than thrilled by those results (Moonstone's reaction being actually on-panel, but you can bet I was reacting the same off-panel). Meanwhile, you'll never guess who gets out (not kidding):

Purple Man!
This is some serious shit because if you haven't read Alias, let me inform you Purple Man is a seriously sick fuck and he messed with Jessica in one of the worst ways possible.

Cage then responds by taking on every guy who Purple Man is controlling with Purple Man afterwards simply telling Cage that he can just take him over. However, it seems Cage has nanites in him specifically designed to block him out, and then he fucking headbutts that asshole! Jessica married a good man *sniff*.

U.S. Agent is also having trouble with prisoners, especially with them thinking nothing of him as he's now without two limbs. In response the man gets out of his wheelchair and personally fucks up the day of every one of those assholes. This would be his victory pose-->

Meanwhile we get more reformed Juggernaut crap as it seems he helps two prisoners break out, but it's revealed he just led them to the jellyfish defenses. In the end, everything's recovered, no one dies which means Hazmat doesn't end up killing Osborn next issue like she had planned (not much of a spoiler there).

Conclusion: Definitely an improvement from last issue, but Songbird not dying was definitely a minus. Someday Moonstone and I will have our wishes come true, but until then Melissa lives to annoy another day.

The List #34

New Mutants #15
Writer: Zeb Wells
Artist: Leonard Kirk
Sorry about the delay, things have been insane lately so the news and last week's X-Factor will get added o
not this week's post because I think there's like one new thing coming out for my pull list. Anyway, let the reviewing begin.

In my mind this issue is titled "The Drunk Issue" considering that's what most of it centers around. What happens is Cannonball approaches Cyclops and whines that he "broke the team" and no longer deserves to be leader. Cyclops, not to be outdone in the angst dept., tells Sam that he doesn't have time for this angsty shit when he could be devoting time to his own, and orders Sam to take the team out for some R+R.

So they do and Sam decides to make it extra special because they R+R:

Of course you bring beer, Sam.
Gross. I think me and Illyana are going to go sneak out to the local Hannaford for some vodka.

So the team drinks and they slowly start going over what happened during SC. Then they start swapping funny stories with Dani recounting what happened during the battle with Hodgo. Don't think it was that funny of an issue? Me neither. Seriously, not to say that you don't obnoxiously point to the elephant in the room when drunk, but if you're going to tell funny stories at least tell stories that are actually funny. Like Wells, you couldn't make something up?

Another point I don't believe is that this is the second time where Karma and Hellion have been portrayed as indifferent to their losing their body parts. I mean I don't want them angsting up the panels until the series ends, but seriously, at least have a couple issues with them dealing with their feelings over it. I'm not sold on them being ok with it, but I suppose minor characters are expected to dela with whatever blows their given and get over it. Something this issue I was totally sold on was this:

Ohhhh drunken makeout sessions. Brings back memories of last semester. Anyway, that much was convincing although I wish Wells had gone further to the one-night stand that would've resulted had they not been interrupted. Not because I'm a Dani/Sam shipper, but because I'm always in for awkward drunk one-night stands as long as they're not my own. Anyway, you'll notice we don't see much of Warlock this issue because....

He can't hold his beer.

Nah, apparently he's purging because he's got eater's remorse. We're planning on a very special True Life for him very soon actually. Actually he's bummed out over taking human life and releasing the energy he gained from eating the people. Most of the issue he's not seen because he's out moping over it.

The rest of the issue has to do with the ongoing Magik/Pixie tensions. They only get worse as the demon-y army guys from issue #9 appear this issue and are out for Illyana's blood since they spent 20 years in Limbo and half of them are part-demon now because of having to try and survive there. In their search for Illyana they end up finding Pixie and beating her ass for her soul dagger. And this makes for yet another reason to add to Pixie's list of why Illyana Rasputin is a bitch.

And besides Illyana being alerted to the danger nearby by having her soulsword come out of her and also cockblock Sam and Dani, that's the issue. Conclusion: Despite it's glaring flaws, this issue was pretty decent and I'm just thrilled to see New Mutants finally out of crossover hell.

New Avengers #2
Writer: Brian Michael Bendis
Artist: Stuart Immomen
This issue is basically a game of "Who's got the Eye of Agamotto?" with everyone trying to keep it away from the possessed Luke Cage. Except the demon possessing Luke Cage is willing to play dirty to get the Eye:

Ohhhh gurl. Evil means business when it resorts to pulling on your hair.

This issue Jessica Jones dropped her typical mother role....to pick up the typical wife role. There were a couple moments where she was cool, but for the most part she was portrayed as the idiot wife who doesn't understand what possession means.

In the end, everyone's un-possessed while Iron Fist ,who's got the Eye, is possessed, and the Sorcerer guys including Dr. Voodoo reunite to say the world is fucked. Conclusion: This issue was ok, nothing was really bad about it but there was also nothing particularly great about it either.

Thunderbolts #146
Writer: Jeff Parker
Artist: Kev Walker
So last week we ended with the introduction of this new girl named Troll with me already rolling my eyes in annoyance to yet another "child-raised-in-the-wild!" story because I hate those stories. Seriously, when Claremont tried going that route with X-23 with the fangs and the growling I was like, "Diva you did not!" Luckily this issue they just knock her out and throw her story on the backburner which is whatev. Also, Songbird had like two panels this issue, so that was a plus.

The main mission this issue is the team going to find out what happened to the SHIELD team sent to investigate and verify if there were a new vein of terrigen crystals in some cave. Results: The SHIELD team's dead and there's definitely terrigen crystals in the cave. So much so that it reminds me of Aladdin with the room that was filled with gold in the Cave of Wonders. Also, there's a ton of misshapen creatures lurking about trying to kill the team.

In other news, this whole fake "reformed Moonstone" act has gone from decent to stinks like shit.

Seriously, Parker, how dumb do you think she is?

WTF, I'm pretty sure Ellis built her up differently and he's the reason I and I'm sure a lot of people started paying attention to this series. Basically, he had her be sex-positive, manipulative, and had her be a rough girl masquerading as classy even though we knew better. From there Bendis' Dark Reign had her be sleep with everyone and had her called a slut for it, kind of trashy, and still manipulative but all the other team members were too so her game plan just got lost in all that (especially with fucking Daken since we're all supposed to believe he matters or something). Parker so far as made her all-out trashy, no sleeping around but she's hinted to it, but his worst sin is he thinks that she's stupid. This is probably because people automatically assume women who are unashamed of their sexuality are "sluts" and must be stupid to not be ashamed. ...She has an MD in Psych, how stupid can she be when it comes to manipulation? Especially when she's been doing it for quite awhile. Anyway, I don't buy Moonstone would try to shove her "reformed" crap in everyone's faces like that because she's a manipulator; she knows that doesn't work like that.

Back to the story, the rest of the issue consists of another extended fight scene which is, once again, a good thing because I'm all in for a good team battle. Especially since it seems half the X-Books fail to understand what a decent team fight scene looks like. The issue ends with Man-Thing, Crossbones, and Mach-IV or V or VIIX as the only Thunderbolts left standing against the creatures. Conclusion: This issue would be between good and ok which seems to be a "thing" for Parker as I remember feeling the same about most of his Exiles run.

The List #32

X-Men Legacy #237
Writer: Mike Carey
Artist: Greg Land
Yeah, that cover looks my fantasies illustrated by Adi Granov. Anyway, this issue opens with X-Force distracting Master Mold while Cable and Cypher get into the processing core so Cypher can talk to it. From there it tries to assimilate him, and a struggle ensues.

Back on the bridge in the present, the battle heats up with Hope and Rogue showing up to save the day; which obviously overjoyed Cyclops. On Utopia, Magneto's young again! Fighting off the Nimrods like it's nothing until....oh wait, he's old again! And from there he's young again as he starts to use pieces of Utopia, made of iron, to attack the Nimrods. After this we get the ugliest collage courtesy of Land:

First off, this does nothing to progress the story. Second, what is with the no legs thing? Land, what is this supposed to do for us? This reminds me of that ugly cover he did for Uncanny X-Men #517 where he was yet again lazy and untalented.

Back with X-Force, Cypher predictably wins. This causes the destruction of Master Mold and all the Nimrods in the present to deactivate. From there we get another WTF Land panel:

Was extending Paige to the 2nd panel really necessary? Does her ass really contribute anything besides apparently disgusting Colossus?

Going back to X-Force, it turns out X-23 tried to go through the time membrane the Nimrods were going through, but nothing organic can go through there. Solution: Cable lets the T/O virus take him over and goes back to the present. Does this mean he's finally going to die? Can he? Please?

In the end we have Bastion with his two unremarkable lackeys at his side; telling them that now he's just got to do it himself. And from there we have to wait two weeks until the next issue. What the fuck are with these extra-week pauses? Is anyone really at the edge of their seats with this crossover? If they were, it's unlikely they are now. Frankly, I'm just excited for this thing to be over with.

Thunderbolts #145
Writer: Jeff Parker
Artist: Kev Walker
One way to summarize the events that followed after last issue's surprise ending with Baron Helmut Zemo coming take control of the Thunderbolts would be: Psych. It turns out it was just an exercise done to demonstrate that the team is under the thumb of their authority. Along the way we learn a few things:

1. Juggernaut's powers are weakened. Again. Because the transition from villain to hero, however reluctant, requires a massive power decrease.

2. When this exercise happened, all the supervisors faked being knocked out; Songbird being among them. Apparently she's done serving her time as ordinary Thunderbolt.

3. Extra nanites in Moonstone's head now make her unable to go intangible because, as Songbird said, having lasers, flying, and strength is enough. The real reason being that if she kept them she'd make Ghost redundant. It's ok though, this issue we discovered she's got a hidden power:

The ability to change footwear at will.
Which is a goddamned useful power, especially as a superhero, because she always needs to be thinking about function so she needs flats. The thing is that they can be ugly, so how useful is it that she can manifest heels as soon as she needs to class it up? (Even though Classy Moonstone is an oxymoron.)

At this point I should probably mention that I've been neglecting to mention the supporting cast of Fixer, Mach-IVWX, and whoever else. That's because I really have no interest in them and will only be mentioning them when it's plot-relevant. And the next bit because following the test run scene is one where we meet the new warden: US Agent. Who's lost an arm? Didn't know that. Anyway, I'm sure he'll do something interesting soon enough.

The rest of the issue consists of the team's "easy" first mission: Go fetch 3 Asguardian trolls using non-lethal measures. And from there the rest of the issue is an enjoyable battle scene with Moonstone starting her bag of bullshit right away:

Girl does not waste time!

And that would be it besides the issue ending with some girl named Troll attacking. Conclusion: Parker delivers another issue of good Thunderbolts fun.

And now for the polls results.
Storm won first place by one vote, thanks to an 11th hour push from her fans, and beat out Emma Frost, who ended up with 2nd place. 3rd place was Rogue; which surprised me a bit since I thought it'd actually be between her and Storm. Professor X, Magneto, and Jean Grey, who've been either former headmasters or groomed to take that position, each received 2 votes and tied for 4th place. And in last place, much to my amusement, Other and Wolverine with 0 votes.

Oh and just an aside for the hell of it, I didn't vote for Emma Frost. I actually voted for Jean of all characters because I think she'd be really interesting as someone who's been the almighty evil and the almighty good in the X-Universe in a role of power we can actually see in action.

That's all, be sure to vote for the latest poll which is, "Which body part lost in Second Coming will you miss the most?"

The List #29

Thunderbolts #144
Writer: Jeff Parker
Artist: Kev Walker
This issue is the first with Luke Cage taking over Norman Osborn's old job of running the Thunderbolts, as assigned by Captain America. Which I'm all for considering I like Luke Cage, especially because I LOVE his wife, Jessica Jones, who I'm hoping will make a guest appearance.

Cage starts by going to the courtyard of the The Raft I think it is. Some maximum security penitentiary for super villains anyway. He first informs Ghost, who won't communicate without his helmet on, of his being approved for the Thunderbolts. Then Cage goes to pick up the most important member of the team:

My girl Moonstone!

She's so right! Or at least it's not a Thunderbolts that I'll read without her. Seriously, I stopped the issue she left for the Dark Avengers. Oh......and Cage also picks up Songbird. Who I can't stand and she just made things worse by giving herself what looks like a haircut done by a lightning bolt. Whatever, all I'm saying is she could have spared us this grotesque sight by just letting Osborn take her out. See? He was right about a couple things.

Songbird proceeds to object about Moonstone's coming aboard. Cage responds by looking up data reading off qualities like tends to create drama, manipulative, eager for attention, etc. Songbird agrees with this assessment. Then he tells her it's actually HER old profile. Ohhh Cage, I like you more already.

Unfortunately, Juggernaut's on the team thanks to Xavier begging Luke to make use of him. Oh and Crossbones, who I guess shot Captain America, is also on. Can this be like Suicide Squad where members die all the time? Because it'd be nice to replace them with Venom and Bullseye. And the last person on the team is:

Man-Thing.
Who's a non-speaking, empathic teleporter. I have to say I'm kind of interested.

And that's the team:

The team meets Cage who goes on to tell them he has faith in them, and that he's been down the road on the wrong side of the law before. Which, had it not been Cage, it would've been cheesy, but it's LUKE CAGE! He then gets interrupted by Baron Zemo who shows up because he believes himself to be the one true Thunderbolts leader and plans to recruit them.

Conclusion: Parker's got solid writing, I loved him on Exiles, but the artist Walker doesn't seem to use his space effectively since there was a lot of open flat gray background with characters seeming to be on the edge of the panels. But in the end I say buy this issue.

Gotham City Sirens #12
Writer: Tony Bedard
Artist: Peter Nyugen
You may have noticed GCS' absence from my blog for the past few months. That would be because I really had nothing to say about the mediocrity of the last few issues. But this issue starts up on a different kind of story.

The focus now is on Catwoman and what's going on with her sister, Maggie, who used to be nun (and I believe tortured by Black Mask in horrific way, which is a story I want to read). The change of focus is good because Catwoman's series actually went a lot further than Harley's and Ivy's never even had a series.

Basically, Selina is searching for her sister while her sister's going nuts on a nun who helps her because she owns a cat. She also believes her sister to be possessed by a cat demon. Maggie raids the now-killed nun's closet and finds herself some Angel-in-a-jar. Who's a sexy naked guy. Where do they sell those? Anyway, he gives her his abilities to fight the "demon".

And in the end of the issue, she ends up fighting Selina and Harley, and is all "In Jesus' name I pray". Meanwhile, Ivy's working things out at work with a fired worker who tried to kill her. And she's psycho as ever which I always enjoy.

Conclusion: You've read one "Religious nut" story, you've read them all. Unfortunately, religious nut villains seem to come in one style, and thus far I'm not impressed. Well, besides the naked Angel-in-a-jar. It's not a horrible issue, I just wish Maggie's hatred of Selina was more justified. Which means I wish the GCS were villains again because they're a lot more fun that way.

Dazzler #1
Writer: Jim McCann
Artists #1: Kalman Andrasofszky and Ramon Perez

Artist #2: Francesca Ciregia
The issue opens with Dazzler looking for her sister Lois London (it's a week to go looking for your sister), and ends up getting knocked out. She wakes up in a place she can't break out of unless she puts on her old disco costume, and goes out.

It turns out Lois is paying Arcade to pit Dazzler against robots of all her old enemies. The Grapplers, who apparently had Songbird on the team, Rogue, Enchantress, Dr. Doom.....Emma Frost. Also, Galactus who she's never even fought, but has worked for. It doesn't matter, she takes them all down like a pro, posing like she's on America's Next Top Model in the process.

Lois even manages to get the real Klaw, an old enemy of Dazzler's, to take on Daz. It's a struggle, but thanks to Arcade ditching, Dazzler comes out on top in the end. Which leaves her to take on Lois. Who looks like Lady Gaga gone tacky goth. Even the lightning bolt eye makeup, Lois? Really?

Anyway, they fight it out with Lois blaming all her hardships on Daz. To continue the referencing ANTM, I would just like to quote Tyra Banks during her freakout at Tiffany during Cycle 4 by saying, "TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FO' YO'SELF!" Instead of saying this, Dazzler knocks her out and brings her to the med lab in Utopia; resolving to help Lois.

Which pisses of Cyclops. But Daz counters this by saying she's not the only one with a mass-murdering sibling! (Cyclops' brother Vulcan, who's thankfully dead) And actually, considering Betsy's in the room, isn't Jamie Braddock also a mass-murdering nutso? Every family's got one I guess. She also brings up that there are tons of villains on Utopia including Emma and Magneto. Cyclops counters by saying....that Emma's never killed an X-Man. Even though I'm a fan of her, uh, the only reason why Emma never killed an X-Man was because someone stopped her. So that's a pretty weak comeback. Cyclops finishes by saying Emma won't help rehabilitate Lois after the resurrected Hellions deal, but it doesn't matter as Psylocke steps in to do that.

After they both leave, Dazzler is left to call her mom, who she resents, and tell her about what's happened to Lois. The conversation flashes between what Daz is really saying and raging she wants to say. She holds back, and it turns out her mom's tried to get her act together. It ends on a sweet note as Dazzler feels more resolved about her feelings towards her mother which is good.

Conclusion: While this is more for diehard Dazzler fans, McCann does Dazzler well as only a massive fan can. This issue is as over-the-top and campy as gay X-Men icon, Daz, deserves. I would definitely say consider picking this one up.

The List #23 part 1

Before I begin, I have to apologize for being a full week late with all these reviews, but I've been ill since last Tuesday and still am a little.

Dark Avengers #14
Writer: Brian Michael Bendis
Artist: Mike Deodato
Those of you who hate the Sentry with all your heart will probably be disappointed by this issue because yet again it is dominated by He-who-won't-die. Luckily there are some other developments this issue that are absolutely Bendis Awesome (which is a top-tier level of awesome). And Deodato continues to be top-f#@%ing-notch.

This issue opens with Victoria Hand confronting Osborn, demanding he get psychiatric help or she will leave. She also alerts him to Moonstone and Bullseye f@%$ing in the conference room. In front of H.A.M.M.E.R. agents.






Here's an awesome Bendis moment because anyone can claim a villain is crazy. People have claimed Emma Frost was crazy, but her 'crazy' was tame enough, she was still civilized and mostly obeying social norms when she wasn't being villainous. Moonstone and Bullseye are screwing in public. Thank you Bendis for showing rather than saying.

Also, Hand notes that Moonstone is working her way through the team. Do know that this isn't a new development, in Ellis' Thunderbolts Moonstone's ultimate plan was to run the Thunderbolts (and again, in there she had been Osborn's right hand). And I can only imagine what her plan will be in Luke Cage's Thunderbolts considering she's the only female team member and will likely be submitted to sexist crap.

Anyway, Hand decides to go break up the party. And when Moonstone gets in her face she pulls out a gun and zaps her. Pretty hxc of Hand.

But then everything is cut short by The Sentry. Who's tantruming, destroying New York as villains do. At least it's done by the Void this time, who is loads more entertaining and just a more likable character. And he's also aware of Osborn's manipulations. Apparently the Void wants to create a world where Robert Reynolds and Lindy can't live in, but can't actually kill Lindy himself. Osborn and him finally come to an agreement which later is specified to be Osborn ordering Bullseye to kill Lindy. Which is wonderful because I feel like Bullseye has lost a lot of his 'cool' factor that he had in Ellis' Thunderbolts. Conclusion: I'd seriously consider buying this issue unless you absolutely cannot stand The Sentry.

Spider-Woman #6
Writer: Brian Michael Bendis
Artist: Alex Maleev
This issue starts and ends with two awkward double spread pages. The first is awkward because a large part of the double spread is Spider-Woman's ass. Basically this issue is about Spider-Woman fighting off Osborn's new Thunderbolts. So yes, it's basically an extended fight scene, but it's not like a Fraction fight scene (with a beginning, a conclusion but no meat). It's actually probably one of the better issues of this series.

I have to say I found Maleev a little off this issue, especially when it came to when Jessica sent a venom blast that exploded near the Thunderbolts. It was just very static seeming and Black Widow in particular, who's in the center, looked more like she was just taking a lazy jump rather than trying to jump out of the way of an explosion. The rest of them generally just look similarly unphased by the explosion, static, or paralyzed.

Jessica ends up beating up half of them with her cleverness. And at one point she hides in a dumpster. Which I found to be the perfect opportunity to make what is hopefully the world's first LOLSpider-Woman.

In the end of the issue, Jessica just blows up the Thunderbolts' ship and calls it a day. And here's where the awkward ending double-spread comes in. It's just Jessica flying in the air with her fists out. No real transition to this. No panels on the page. Just her. Her fists. And a city background. Conclusion: Despite the awkward sandwich, I'd definitely recommend buying this issue.

Psylocke #4
Writer: Chris Yost
Artist: Harvey Tolibao
Welcome to the last issue review for Yost's angst-ridden Psylocke mini-series. Unfortunately we're ending off this series with Wolverine overexposure in the form of an 'epic' fight scene spanning most of the issue.

The issue begins with Wolverine and Psylocke exchanging the traditional "You don't have to do this, back away now!" and many other cliched comic book phrases. But Psylocke predictably does not back down, and her hair and sashes find themselves in agreement on this as they all take the poised form of the letter s!

Anyway, they fight and it's predictably not that dangerous because both of them are popular characters so no damage is going to stick to either of them. Psylocke ends up jamming the totality of her telekinesis/telepathy/Phoenix Force powers into Wolverine's noggin and causes him to release THE INNER BEAST!! OH NOES!!! Luckily, Rage Man (I honestly can't even remember his real name now) interrupts by throwing Logan out of the way. And he does this...naked. Don't remember why he's naked either:

Oh and he forgives Betsy now apparently and they cool. Which...I never saw coming! Yes! This is completely new to me! In order to end the fighting, Betsy pulls the ultimate angsty move of this series and decides to end the fight by offering to Logan to kill her. He refuses, but says they're going to talk about her death wish. Which makes her sounds a lot like Jessica Drew. Again, Psylocke is the X-Man's version of Spider-Woman.

In the end, Psylocke mercy kills Matsu'o. Then comes the best scene of this entire series:

I cannot believe she just told one of the students she killed someone. Seriously, Xavier's School for Child Abuse! Starts off with Colossus beating up half the student body, followed by a chunk of the team constantly covered in blood, and ending with even the sane-ish mentor figures going around being like, "I killed a man today, do your fucking homework or you'll be the next!" I'm just waiting for the day that Emma comes out of the bathroom, just glances down at Trance and is like, "I just did three lines of blow in the bathroom. Know where I can score some hallucinogenic Pixie dust?"

Conclusion: This issue is mostly mediocre and honestly, most of the series isn't all that amazing. But I would recommend buying issue one to all Psylocke fans.