The List #49

Avengers The Childrens Crusade #4
Writer: Allan Heinburg
Artist: Jim Cheung
This issue we have Wiccan as a prisoner of Doom, who's also stolen his powers, and the Young Avengers trying to work out a plan to save him. On their way to invade Castle Doom they are stopped by the Avengers, so that's put on hold. Meanwhile, the Scarlet Witch comes to see Wiccan, curious about what he said, and he summarizes how he and Tommy came to be, then came to not be, how she reacted, and then how they came to be again. Which is going fine, and Wanda is at least listening to him...until they come upon the massive YA, Quicksilver, and Magneto vs. Avengers fight scene. Oh and Wolverine also appears and tries to kill both Wanda and Billy. Yeah, not only is he completely overexposed, now he's also the total bastard of this story. Until he is stopped by, in a fabulous ending twist, by none other than.....!!!

Iron Lad!!!!!

This had better not be an illusion, robot, or clone because I'm so excited for the followup to this twist, especially because I just reread my Young Avengers hardcover last week!! And yeah, that where the issue ends, let the 2 month wait begin.

Conclusion: Despite the bi-monthly release issue, this is probably one of the best out there right now, and honestly, if the creative team needs the two months to create such a high quality, exciting book then that's fine by me.

X-Factor #213
Writer: Peter David
Artist: Valentine De Landro, Pat Davison
As predicted, this issue is full of Darwin angst since now he's got death powers in him, and so he joins Hellion in the begging to be killed department. Unfortunately, the cruel fact is that this completely uninteresting character can't be killed. Anyway, so X-Factor leaves him in Las Vegas so he can sort his shit out, and unfortunately, we have to see exactly what he does during this time next issue.

In other news about unfortunate additions, Pip, the troll the team rescued, is now following X-Factor around even though the team feels uneasy about this. And surprise, by the end of the issue we learn that he's spying on them for somebody. Yet another predictable plot with few invested in this part. However, in good news, we have Monet to echo my thoughts on this mediocre Darwin story.

I'm thinking she's due for some spotlight time.

Moving on to stories I'm invested in: Baby mama drama! Despite my loathing of Rahne, the story itself has me hooked, and this time around we have Rictor, drunk out of his mind, having figured out the baby's not his. Meaning Ricstar can continue and give the fans what they want (Homo love!!).

Shatterstar explains the situation to Rictor, and Rictor makes a move to go find Rahne to confront her about this. Rahne explains that she knew about the deal the whole time, and she admits to trying use her baby to force Rictor to stop being gay so he won't go to hell. Rictor blows this off as a joke, which is understandable because I've always found Rahne to be exactly that, and then tells her to just come home with him. Which translates to: "Let's see how far we can jam pack this team until everyone besides Madrox becomes a cameo queen." Also, what is with the red head factor on this book?

Kinda strange.

Although it'd probably be stranger in a universe that depicted the frequency of red hair more realistically, but whatever, it's comic books, where it's not uncommon for characters to have purple or green hair.

Conclusion: This issue was half crap (Darwyn and Pip) and half great (Baby mama drama and everything else).

The List #44 Part 2

Chew #15

Writer: John Layman
Artist: Rob Guillory

As we come to the end of the first quarter of the run of this series, we come to meet the alleged last two supporting characters of the series, Toni, Tony's twin who's, uh, really peppy and Olive, Tony's.....daughter. So yeah, things are definitely revealed this issue and we even get to meet the entire Chu clan briefly as Tony goes over for Thanksgiving, much to most of their chagrin of the family (due in to large part to his being an absent father to Olive). One family member in particular I had to note and wish for further development is none other than:

Tony's drag queen younger brother because there will never be a day in my life where I am NOT completely in for a drag queen character. Legit.

Moving on, the majority of the issue was exposition until the big finale as we were introduced to Tony's family, all of it, and their feelings on him. Not a whole lot happens and I can't say there's much in the way of the quirky humor typical of Chew, but it was still a decent issue. We also see Mason Savoy finally do something with Tony's ear, which is eating it, as he discovers the story about Tony's psycho ex. By the way, can I just mention something I've already brought up on my Tumblr, but is too good to not mention?

Mason Savoy is basically the Chew version of Fiddler's Green from Sandman.
Or was, before the whole reveal that he's "up to something".
Whatever, he's so fun that I figure he'll be in Chu's good graces again soon.

Anyway, the issue ends with surprise red lights in the sky which basically changes the series dramatically from what I've read. Conclusion: While this issue doesn't contain the same enthusiastic energy typical of other issues, it's still a good one and seems to be more about setting up future plots than entertaining. Considering it's Chew, I still definitely say pick it up as it's become one of my new favorite ongoings.

Avengers Academy #6
Writer: Christos Gage
Artist: Mike McKone
The spotlight of this issue shines down on Reptil this time around as we join him becoming the class leader of the AA and find out more about his powers and the gem that appear to be the source. Also, some depressing news is revealed about him and Finesse:

Errmm he's the second most innocent member of the AA and I just feel like he's being tainted by the irritating character that is Finesse.

During the issue we see the first hurt that comes from his physical relationship with Finesse as she explains to him that she's not his girlfriend, just a fuck buddy. From there she decides to end things, which to her credit is responsible of her, but in, of course, a harsh way. Throughout the issue we see these frustrations as Reptil deals with being team leader and trying to be helpful and the right sort of role model as well as his struggles to fully transform into a dinosaur. Eventually his dreams do come true, but in the sense that he becomes a feral, uncontrollable dinosaur. The conclusion for this lack of control comes from Pym:

Um, first I'd totally take counseling sessions with Moonstone. I mean, I'd have no hope for improvement, but can you imagine how fun she'd be? Second, what about my girl Frost? She's not only a therapist, but also specializes as a sex therapist so she can help Reptil deal with his Finesse problem. However, I can't say I have any problems with who they chose to counsel him in the end:

YAY! I feel like some of her best character work outside of Alias and Pulse has been when she's counseling teenagers....and not playing housewife.

In the end, Reptil finally starts opening up and things are looking up for him and everything's somewhat decent. Conclusion: Decent issue, but these past few issues have lead to me feeling like this series lacks a little bit of direction as all the side plots make things feel a bit messy and complicated.

Avengers The Childrens Crusade #3
Writer: Allan Heinberg
Artist: Jim Cheung
After last issue's revelation that the Wanda that had been residing in Wundagore Mountain, the one Hawkeye and Beast encountered, was a Doombot, we now finally come to a conclusion on the whereabouts of Wanda as, y'know, only Doom's gonna use Doombots. This issue is basically centered around three characters: Quicksilver, Magneto, and Wiccan and NOT the Young Avengers. Don't get me wrong, I know the Maximoffs need some love from a skilled right now, but I'd also like to see more of the characters I came to this series to read. Plus Magneto and Quicksilver can be frustrating characters. Especially when Magneto's claiming the only person more powerful than Doom is Wanda. Um, Jean Grey, anyone? Killed, like, a solar system full of people? Kind of like God right now?

Anyway, the plan from here is trying to decide how to get to Doom. Wiccan tries to break away to go to try it on his own, but ends up getting caught by Quicksilver and the YA, with Hulkling getting quite pissed about it. While I enjoy the fact that we're openly dealing with Teddy and Billy as a couple now, I'm not real fond of how much strain is being put on their relationship considering most of the romance was dealt with lightly. At least we get this squee-worthy image of them together in bed:

In the end, Wiccan decides to go it alone anyway, ends up finding a manipulated Wanda, and finds out she intends to marry him. And oh yeah, he shows up which spells out real fun times for the lone hero.

Conclusion: Good issue, but we could do with less Pietro and Magneto bitchery as well as a less tense Billy and Teddy considering we've barely seen any of the romance. I'd still say pick this one up.

X-Factor #211
Writer: Peter David
Artist: Emanuela Lupacchino
This X-Factor suffers from a lack of baby momma drama (I know, it's sad and sorry that I'm addicted to this storyline, but whatever, it influences the future of RicStar!). It's for the most part of a fight issue with Madrox, Shatterstar, and Longshot tackling zombie Asguardians to poor results.

Basically, it ends up looking bleak towards the end, in one of the most forced sounding moves I've heard in awhile Siryn apologizes to Madrox for breaking his finger way back when in issue #40 or near there. Finally, Thor shows up to save the day and we end on him deciding whether or not to help X-Factor against Hela.

Conclusion: Little happens this issue really, but it's not necessarily a bad issue. Just one that I'm not all that excited about. Still good though.

Comic Book Releases Briefly: 9/1/10 and 9/9/10

Apologies for being absent for the past two weeks, but I just started college again so my life has been a bit hectic lately. If you find yourself going through bitchy withdrawls, just know that I've also got a [Tumblr] that you can go to for second helpings of snarkery.

Anyway, it seems my absence couldn't be more perfectly timed as it seems not a lot happened in comic book land while I was gone. Here's a brief look at what I thought of the books I would normally have reviewed:

Avengers: The Childrens Crusade #2
Writer: Allan Heinberg
Artist: Jim Cheung
The only book that I was really looking forward to reviewing, but in the end it's fine because I had little to say about it anyway. Not as good as the first issue, but still amazingly satisfying for me. Seriously, if this book needs to be on a bi-monthly schedule in order to produce a quality product like it has then I'm all for it.

One thing I found shocking was that they actually had Quicksilver and Speed meet up. I've always thought of Speed as the massive ripoff in the room, and I assumed that Quicksilver and him could never meet just because Speed is nearly identical to him. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Heinberg's YA, but let's be honest: Speed is basically a young Quicksilver and was probably just hastily created so that the Scarlet Witch plotline could be introduced. Anyway, this was definitely the best release of the past two weeks and I recommend you all pick it up.

Scarlet #2
Writer: Brian Michael Bendis
Artist: Alex Maleev
One word summary: Mediocre.
Scarlet's view on the world, despite being justified by her experience, still sounds like Hot Topic brand whining about how 'the world is full of shit'. And it's this attitude plus her overconfidence in what she 'knows' about the world despite being 17 that turned me off from this issue.

However, as dull and whiny as it was, I thought [this fucking bullshit] with the shop owner ripping up an issue of Scarlet was ridiculous. Seriously, guy? Thanks for helping along the stereotype that comic book fans are emotionally stunted adults. It's not even that bad of a fucking book, and even if it were, it's not connected to any other books or drawing from any other continuity. Scarlet's not even set in any real universe that matters! This book couldn't be easier to avoid if you don't like it.
I just find this to be such an obnoxious, childish act of disrespect, and that's coming from someone who writes bitchy comic book reviews for the hell of it.

X-Men #3
Writer: Victor Gischler
Artist: Paco Medina
Despite the pressure to do something remarkable considering the current state of vampire fatigue, this series so far has decided to reuse all the typical vampire dialogue/plot moves/everything. Also, despite the pressure of being a new X-Book with no established difference from Uncanny, this series has decided to reuse all the same X-Men dialogue/plot moves/everything. Seriously, using one of Wolverine's sidekicks to lure him into a situation? And worst of all, deeming Wolverine 'the most powerful X-Man' and having him converted to their side. Isn't that the subject of every other X-Related story? Also, what the fuck on Wolverine being the most powerful/useful X-Man? Yeah, because claws and a healing factor are so much more useful than top-tier psychic powers, full control of the elements, or a control of ice that makes the user nearly unkillable. This is the sort of shit logic that happens when you let obssessive fanboys write the books. Anyway, don't waste your spare bucks on this regurgitated storyline.

New Avengers #4
Writer: Brian Michael Bendis
Artist: Stuart Immomen
This issue is pretty unremarkable. At least Daimon Hellstrom still has no idea what a shirt is.

Batgirl #14
Writer: Bryan Q Miller
Artist: Lee Garbett
I was so bored I couldn't even finish it, and it's rare that I put down anything that I started reading, least of all a comic book. I think this issue marks the end for me and Batgirl, especially since my favorite character, Oracle, is now getting pushed out of the series.

Lastly, poll results time!
Unsurprisingly, Psylocke and Archangel won this poll with 15 votes which is expected considering they're the only couple on this list that now has confirmation to be pairing up officially. Also, it's Psylocke and I know that a lot of you here love her.

Namor and Emma came in second place with 12 votes.....yeah, wasn't expecting that. It seems we see things a little different, my readers, considering I loathe the idea of Emma being with another manchild, but it's ok, we can love each other for our differences. Anyway, moving onto my favorite couple...

Danger and Box came in third with 6 votes, one of them being mine, and I'm surprised they didn't at least get second considering how magnetic a pairing they are. Yes, I know, cheesy robot puns, I'll stop. Lastly, everyone else got one vote. And that's the poll, thanks for voting and please do go vote on the newest one.

The List #33 Part 2

Scarlet #1
Writer: Brian Michael Bendis
Artist: Alex Maleev
The basic idea of this series is it's a girl-who-kicks-ass tale about her fighting against a world of corrupt authority. Seen that one before? Yeah, me too, and it's why I almost didn't pick it up. The reason I did give it a chance though was because it's done by Bendis and Maleev who had not too long ago produced the gorgeous Spider-Woman limited series. To say the least, I don't regret it.

We meet Scarlet as she's killing a plainclothes cop. Obviously it raises some questions, but not to worry, she's ready to answer them directly afterwards. So direct that she breaks the fourth wall, and does so for the majority of the rest of the issue. I tend to be weary of this tool after having seen Deadpool constantly break the 4th wall to crack lukewarm jokes, but Bendis uses it well.

Anyway, Scarlet explains that the cop was hardly a saint; although whether or not he deserved to die is questionable. As she goes through explaining her views on the world she also ends up beating the balls out of a guy trying to steal a bike. Basically, she thinks the world is corrupt, and she's decided to take it upon herself to right it by kicking or killing the shit out of anyone she thinks is part of the corruption. From there we see her life explained in important moments:

Then we get the story of what set her off on this path, and it's definitely a tragic story. It's a story that I'm sure anyone who's been considered "different" in their life has been paranoid at one point about it happening to them. What happens is while she's hanging out in public with friends and the man of her dreams a crooked cop approaches them. He's a messed-up addict, and for no reason he starts insisting on searching Scarlet and company. Scarlet's guy ends up smacking the cop, grabbing Scarlet, and running. From there they quickly realize they're fucked in a serious way, and right in the middle of their dilemma, the cop catches up to them and shoots the guy dead. He also shoots Scarlet, but she eventually recovers to find out the entire situation has been blamed on her guy. And this is where we end off, with the explanation for what's got her motivated to kill those she perceives as corrupt. The issue ends with her saying that she's going to do something about it and that we the readers are going to help.

Conclusion: Totally worth the $3.95, not just because it's 40 pages, but because the story's intensely good with Maleev giving art that's just as beautiful as it was on Spider-Woman. Definitely pick this one up.

Avengers: The Children's Crusade #1
Writer: Allan Heinberg
Artist: Jim Cheung
Before we begin, I just have to raise a few wth's about the cover. First, what's with Ms. Marvel being all awkward over the letters in tiny form? Another thing is what's going on with Spider-Man being shown looking like he's with the Young Avengers? Anyway, things that struck me as odd, so yeah, let's jump into this because we have got A LOT to talk about.

First off, I have to express my intense feelings of gratitude towards Heinberg and Cheung for coming back to the project. They really are irreplaceable to the project, and it's not YA without them. Some have said that other writers did a great, seamless job maintaining the YA with the one-shots and mini-series we had in between Heinberg's stints, but uh, NO. The thing is none of those writers ever did anything more than mediocre with them, and while Heinberg's grip on the characters was tight and thought-out, these other writers just seemed to have a basic understanding of the personalities and just packed the rest with typical ideas of what teenagers are like.

This issue opens with our heroes battling it out with the Serpent Society, who just are prejudiced against life itself, and we're given re-introductions. Hulkling has some trouble with one is specific who's spewing his Bible quotations, so Hulkling decides to just make him all out lose his shit. How?

Not the same sex kiss you were hoping for, right?

So anyway, the homophobe completely divas out like men trying to reassert their heterosexuality do. Not helping his day is the appearance of Iron Man, Capt. America, and Ms. Marvel which really sets him off. So much so that he decides to hold Teddy as hostage and threaten to set off the nuclear bomb he has on him. In reaction, Wiccan's totally not having any of that shit, and magics it away as well as knocks out the SS.

This is hardly a joyous occasion for the 3 Avengers as this means to them that Billy might be another Scarlet Witch. They explain their concern and wanting to keep him with them until they can figure out his limitations. They also explain what happened with the Scarlet Witch which also reminds us that Wanda's antics before she disappered aren't public knowledge in the MU. Something said that struck me as completely wrong:

Hardly. Aren't we forgetting the character who Wanda's breakdown was based on?

And at least her body count stayed dead.

Old tensions come out as Ms. Marvel explains that the Scarlet Witch was a killer, and throughout this talk Carol's kind of a hardass about the situation. Frustrated, Wiccan then asks what would happen if it turns out that he is the grandson of Magneto which is met with no answer from the Avengers. He storms out and the YA follow him. They start to try and talk about what happened with him, but considering they're sounding like they're on the side of the Avengers, he takes off on them as well. Now usually, I'd say these pissy storming outs are irritating, but Heinberg does it convincingly, I can see why Wiccan would feel betrayed by his teammates by their not automatically taking his side. And while he's pissed, he's not running off crying or throwing a massive fit; he's frustrated by being singled out and he wants someone to have his back.

Wiccan decides to go home to get away from the issue, but instead finds Captain America talking to his parents telling them that he would need to take Wiccan back to do some tests. How Cap planned to get back was definitely amusing:

Can you imagine being the cab driver who picks them up?

Instead Wiccan flies them there which I think totally spoiled an awesome scene that probably would've looked like the McDonalds trip in Bedazzled. During the flight Teddy shows up saying that Billy's not doing this alone. Cap says it's ok and has Jarvis set up a room for them. And the rest is just too much for me to handle talking about so here it is:

SO. CLOSE.

But then Speed cockblocks them by running in to tell them that him and the rest of the YA are breaking them out. They do and from there the team decides that the best way to deal with this is to find the Scarlet Witch. And at the shocking last second, someone appears that agrees with them: MAGNETO.

Conclusion: This issue was everything I ever dreamed of and more the only problem is that I have to wait two months until the next issue. Besides that, it's just heaven. Also if anyone's disappointed about the non-kiss deal, the thing is I'm pretty sure Heinberg knows we want it to happen really bad, so he's probably going to save it to capitalize on a dramatic moment. Anyway, buy this issue.

The List #27

New Mutants #12
Writer: Sean McKeever
Artist: Ibraim Roberson
To start off, a little out of order, but this issue we see Alpha team lose the use of both of their teleporters. Magik ends up being sent to Limbo or something close to that and Kurt ends up being slammed by some whammy thing that makes him severely disoriented. And of course, this is all thanks to the ever-annoying Stryker.

Cable and Hope end up going on the run again, which never gets old, and Wolverine orders Archangel to take care of Stryker. So he does by slicing him in half and Kurt is all, "NOOOOO!!!!" And Betsy's surprised as well, but she used to date the guy so her reaction should likely have been the more dramatic one. Also, it turns out the Alpha team needs a new long distance teleporter so they send in my favorite diva: Ariel! She ends up making a glamourous one-panel appearance. And back at the base, Rogue ends up speaking what Hope is think, so clearly there's going to be something developed on the bond the two share from Hope having rid Rogue of her death touch.

Concerning the New Mutants, their is to take care of Cameron Hodge and his army of smiling faces. Here we finally see Karma used in a respectable way, where she's used to possess some of the smiley guys and have them take care of a decent amount before the NM get directly involved. Oh and also, she gets Dani a set of Smiley armor so she can actually be useful in the battle. Which got me thinking:

How are the New Mutants a useful battle team?

In this case, Cypher and Warlock are on the sidelines, not that they'd be much use anyway, and then there's depowered Dani who's only got her mad fighting skills. Then there's Sunspot and Cannonball who are basically just strong and invulnerable. And Karma, who can possess people, but that's a limited sort of psychic power. The only real threat in this group is Magma, who has to have useful powers because she sure as hell can't fall back on a personality.

In response to the attack, Cameron Hodge turns himself intoooo.....Mojo! Not my first thought when people are attacking me, but I suppose it works in some twisted way. Not sure if this is something he does often, but definitely a bit of a disturbing transformation. From there, a massive battle ensues and Hodgo (Hodge+Mojo) ends up singling out Karma. Then stabs her in the fricking THIGH! Ouch! And then we get the OH NOES! ToBeContinued.

Overall, this issue was pretty mundane. That's really all there is to say on it. BUT do go check out the preview for next week's issue (Here!) because it looks like that issue is going to be epic! Campy Greg Land!? Karma with her leg looking cut off?! ARIEL GETTING A LARGER ROLE?!?! Definitely be on the lookout for that one this coming Wednesday.

Siege: Young Avengers #1
Writer: Sean McKeever
Artist: Mahmud A. Asrar
I read somewhere on CBR someone saying that this one-shot proved that someone can handle these characters just as well as Heinberg and that it's not necessary to wait for his return to the series. Except if you REALLY read the previous series you know that's a load of bullshit. The original series was some of the most talented work in the superhero genre I've ever read. This one-shot was nowhere near that and the handling of the characters was poor. Young Avengers, like Runaways, should only be handled by its original creators and the characters should just be tossed into Limbo when they're not there. I mean concerning the Dark Reign mini series, I think it's pretty clear that sometimes it's better to leave the poor character alone because if anything, that horrible series probably hurt readership.

This one-shot is broken up into three stories: Teddy and Billy's, Tommy's, and Eli and Kate's. Tommy's is this: He's running around to help the wounded in Asguard and can't work fast enough and feels bad enough. That's it. And no hint of his previously established personality.

Billy and Teddy's story is basically Tommy elaborates that he chose the title Asguardian for a reason, he feels very defensive of the area because it means something to him, and him and Teddy put the smackdown on the Wrecking Crew for trying to loot. It turns out that Billy's dad used to tell him stories about Norse Mythology when he was younger and one time he was a brat to his dad for it and he never told them again. Yeah, it's as dull as it sounds. It's not like his dad is dead or anything. At the very least we get to see them refer to each other as boyfriends as well as hug. No kisses of course, but I think it's an unsaid rule that Teddy and Billy's first kiss is reserved for Heinberg when he returns to the series. Which I completely agree with.

And in terms of Eli and Kate's story, the worst mistake was made here. Something I've believed since it was first hinted at, was that Kate's amazing, fearless character was going to brought down by her pairing off with Eli. Eli who I believe to be the team's weakest link, even worse than Cassie. And Cassie can be pretty frigging irritating. The story is Kate and Eli are trapped underneath some rubble and are trying to get out. And Kate is poorly characterized as a bitch who's just an aggressive bitch for no reason:

After Eli expresses confusion about how to get out. Like how undeserved is that?

Seriously, Kate's terrible characterization is the worst part of this one-shot. She's worse than any teenagers that's just hit puberty. Anyway, Eli and her end up kissing at one point which is as awkward and bland as it sounds. And she's pissed about that too. Eventually, they make it out and the team reunites and she ends up being the queen of mixed signals by commenting on the kiss positively. And that's the show.

Overall, this one-shot is completely forgettable and should've never happened really. So here's the good news. Which is so good I jumped for joy as soon as I heard it and it makes me so excited I could pee. The original creative team, Heinberg and Cheung, are RETURNING TO THE YOUNG AVENGERS. It's a bi-monthly 9-issue series starting this summer told largely from Wiccan's point of view and apparently about going to get the Scarlet Witch which means the STORY MANY HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR. And you can definitely look forward to my covering of every second of this series.

The List #13

All right, SO this bitchy blogger has been sick since the fucking 21st of last month, I'm pretty much good now, but that's why you've been deprived of my snarkery. Here's the deal: During my sickness, I was going over and reading my blog and I feel like quality has taken a hit over quantity. I talk about a MUCH bigger variety of comic books than I did when I started out, but honestly the posts I did when I was only teasing Uncanny were my best. With this post I'm going to be loads more brief since I have too much to catch up on and I'm essentially going to talk about what comics are staying and which are going. Also, my tastes are made pretty clear by this blog, if you have a comic book series you think I'd like and would be a good addition to this blog, then speak up! Anyway, onward:

Dark Avengers #10
Writer: Brian Michael Bendis
Artist: Mike Deodato
DA is finally back where it needs to be and it's beautiful. Now, a few problems include the f#@%ing gross flirtation between Moonstone and Bullseye. Honestly, I find it really unlikely that this shit would've taken place if Fraction had not tampered with her character and called her a whore. I honestly felt like BMB understood Ellis' demonstration of Moonstone as a woman who is honest about fulfilling her sexual needs without shame or subtlety. Instead, we get making her a whore. Lame and tired. By the way, The Sentry "dies" again. And no one cares because he isn't actually dead yet. BMB, this month it seems you have missed out on what things are tired and overused. These things are: making women whores and killing the Sentry. Don't do it. Otherwise, this book's coming always excites me and I'm rarely disappointed by BMB.

X-Factor #50
Writer: Peter David
Artist: Valentine De Landro

Underwhelming. This issue we wrapped a lot of mediocre, mundane plots. No use of X-Factor the team besides Layla and Madrox. Whatever, at least we might actually see X-Factor after this shit. Except in the ending bonus part of the issue we see the Franklin and Valeria Richards are being added to the cast. Or for the arc. Valeria is replacing Layla as precocious girl. Which is a shitty fix. And the Fantastic Four being involved in anything I read pisses me off since few characters irritate me more and cheese me out. You'll hear more about that in the next X-Factor reviews I'm sure. Anyway, my single biggest problem with this issue is the explanation of Layla's power (she brings things back from the dead but without "souls, lamesauce I know) sort of destroys the character. What's worse is Layla is apparently not a precog, but she just had knowledge of the next 80 years that was jumbled. Now I'm going to explain David's mistake with Layla. Layla was my largest draw to X-Factor when I bought it at #13. She was for a lot of other people too. Then she got put away for a bit during a big Madrox-being-amazing deal during which the amazing Pablo Raimondi was on pencils. Then she came back for a mediocre arc. Then some stuff happened. She left. She and Wolfbane get replaced by Darwin and Longshot, two characters who should've never entered the series as they have yet to have any real character time. I have barely any sense of personality with them. Plus the cast already was starving for attention as Madrox kept getting too much of it. In the absence of Layla, the book spent a lot of time being lackluster and not worth reading. She returned as a taciturn, full-grown woman. It wasn't fun and from there she's been turned from the girl that brought me in to the woman who I can't stand to read. Anyway, now we have more stories coming that'll likely focus too much on Madrox and still neglect the absurdly large cast. I'll stay with the book, but it'd best pick up.

Ms. Marvel #46

Writer: Brian Reed

Artist: Sana Takeda

Only good thing: We see Moonstone in her old costume which is uplifting. Everything else: Shit. Catherine Donovan crap gets resolved. Moonstone is written as if she's supposed to be fucking moral and has issues with killing her ma (just fucking let her be all cool and ok with it like the psycho bitch she is). This just ended a bad, bad time for Ms. Marvel. I'm so sad Moonstone was used so incorrectly and even though I did complement some issues, the majority of this arc was total trash. I'd say that Ms. Marvel has the chance of coming back on this blog like any comic, but as far as I'm concerned, it's off the regular list.

X-Necrosha one-shot
Writers and Artists: Look 'em up

First off, LOVEEEE the variant cover. Next, the one-shot was mostly good, I can't say I felt a strong reaction towards it. I'm not excited to see Cypher's part in Necrosha, but Destiny is definitely going to be the one I follow. She may very well may be why I'm going to keep on with X-Men Legacy. Anyway, it's good but not amazing.

Spider-Woman #2 I have not read yet, and I'm not sure that I'll be reviewing this book just because of how it's made up. But I do LOVE it and I will be posting a reminder to get it every time it comes out with a fucking huge banner. Also, I discovered that all 5 of the latest episodes of this book as a motion comic are out on Hulu. I've watched all of them, I loved them, and I insist you do too. (Click on the Spider-Woman banner above for the link)

X-Men Legacy #228, Gotham City Sirens #5, and X-Force #20 were all pretty mediocre. Don't buy them and they'll probably still be on The List, but they would need to pick things up.

Dark Reign: Young Avengers #5 and New Mutants #6 are not getting attention this week because I didn't read them. DR: YA #5 I saw enough of to know it's still the same crap and I have to saw Cornell is a really disappointingly shitty writer. This limited series did damage to the YA in my opinion and honestly I'm more than thrilled it's done. NM #6 on the other hand is just that I'm lazy. I saw the preview, wasn't wowwed and it's just like meh. Do correct me if I'm wrong and tell me if it did amaze this month. But fucking look up the word amaze before you do so because I'm the furthest thing from in the mood for mediocre as you can see by this week's The List. NM will be back on The List though.

The List #9

Dark Avengers #9
Writer: Brian Michael Bendis
Artist: Mike Deodato

To start, I almost 'gasmed when I saw that DA was returning to it's regular talents considering Fraction ruined DA for me for TWO MONTHS. Seriously the BMB plus Deodato team is Marvel's strongest pairing. Even stronger than Cyclops and Wolverine's secret love. Mhmm, that hardcore.

This issue centers around Ares and the disappearance of his son with only a few pages dedicated to anything else. It was far from the best issue and I'd hoped for more considering it's Ares. And. Ok. I have to come out of yet another closet: I am an Ares fan. Not anywhere near how obsessed I am with Emma Frost, but I do look forward to an Ares appearance in the titles I read. Also, I generally hate most of the Marvel male characters. No joke.

Anyway, this issue included a battle with Nick Fury's Secret Warriors, and apparently there is a member codenamed Hellfire! Which I feel ambivalent about; if he appears in anything else I read I can always call him me and make jokes about him doing diva things like me, but then again if he sucks then I can't make up a Hellfire for when I join the Marvel writers. Oh don't laugh, it'll happen.

More important observation, I imagine that this is not true for all characters, but do you give some of the characters you read unique voices? If yes, am I the only one that thinks Ares' voice would sound like Goldar from Power Rangers? Seriously, if Marvel Ultimate Alliance 3 is about Dark Reign (which would be IDEAL) then they'd best call in the voice of Goldar.

I love DA gossip. I love the Dark Avengers period.

Also, I've heard multiple bitchings that the DA is made up of a bunch of Z, D, or C-Listers. K, listen. I know nothing about Daredevil past the movie and I know who Bullseye is. I barely know Spiderman, but I know the Scorpion and of course, Venom. They may not be A-List, but I'd give most of them B-List.

By the way, look at that pic again for me. Do you see a pattern? I do, it's called the Bald Conspiracy! Seriously, Osborn just loves recruiting bald men! Or men who will go bald or men who're mostly bald.

I love that the DA discuss the events in their own books since it shows everything's connected even in this very drawn out event with no main book. And their snark is hilarious, I have to side with Moonstone, Deadpool is fucking annoying and I only like him in small doses. Sorry Deadpool fans.
Final note: Issue ends with the Sentry possibly being shot and killed. Fan service? Seriously, fuck the Sentry. Oh and buy this issue if you are a consistent DA lover but leave it on the stands until next month if you're short on cash.

Dark Reign: Young Avengers #4
Writer: Paul Cornell
Artist: Mark Brooks

Hate the cover. Hate Skankasaurus trying to seduce Wiccan even though it had him protesting because he's gay. Which is probably the first time he's EVER said he's gay with the gay word. Or close enough.

This issue irritated me. The dialogue all over is the most awkward I've ever read and barely makes sense. Cornell is probably going to do something dramatic for the fifth and thankfully final issue of this series and I am so hoping it does not put the YA in a beyond repair state like what happened to the Runaways. This is essentially YA lite. All of the characters plus thirty more with no one having any personality. Lastly, as if Kate Bishop's, aka Hawkeye, glasses can really cover up her identity. Just cause you've got shades doesn't make you unrecognizable. But yet again I'm trying to make sense of a nonsensical limited series. Conclusion: Don't buy any of this series. And to brighten the mood, here's Hulkling and Wiccan:

X-Factor #48
Writer: Peter David
Artist: Valentine De Landro

This issue was disappointingly lackluster and mundane. I only have a couple things to say: Where was Longshot all issue. I'm pretty sure all he did was cameo queened on the cover in the reflection of the sunglasses. That and I LOVE senile Doom. He makes the future crap more bearable. Love that Siryn's lack of accent was mentioned and that she used it again. Andddd yet again Ricstar was confined to one-panel cameo queening. Leave this one on the shelves.

X-Men Legacy Annual #1
Writer: Mike Carey
Artist: Daniel Acuna

This issue was generally fine. It's yet again Carey as of this past year: good but you know he could being fucking amazing. High points though:

He almost gave me hope for a second that Emma's diamond problem was only going to be respected in Uncanny. Too bad. Anywho, I love hearing reference to the telepaths since they're usually my favorite characters. Also, who responded to Jeffries? I'm assuming the Cuckoos considering they said "we're" but still.

Oh and in the fight that followed with Emplate? Emma was TOTALLY dismissed! Seriously, no panel of her fighting. And then when the team was briefed on Emplate she was shown in the flashback with Penance but she did no talking despite her having the most experience with Emplate. That and I hope Bling! dies just because I've never loved her and I love the second story featuring Gambit. Buy this one if you've got extra cash.