The List #38 Part 1

Astonishing X-Men #35
Writer: Warren Ellis
Artist: Phil Jimenez and Andy Lanning
Picking up where we left off last issue with the X-Men in the zombie workshop, Cyclops decides to torch the place and escape through a tight exit. Beast voices his doubts about this and Cyclops replies along with a reference to Emma in the bedroom [Here]. Like a proper lady, she acts like she has no idea what he's talking about....mainly because it's her job to embarrass him with references to their sex life.

As the X-Men are trying to escape the inferno they caused their also met with the approaching guards of the place, so Cyke decides to cut a hole in the jet since it was probably doomed anyway. This leads to one of my great loves of Astonishing: Group shot time!!

You'll notice Emma's NOT in diamond form for a battle scene for once. This is probably because Ellis does not mention her as an OMEGA LEVEL TELEPATH, so he doesn't have to deal with the problem of having a severely overpowered character in a fight scene. Speaking of which, according to [this article] Psylocke is now also an OMEGA LEVEL TELEPATH which I'm sure delights Psylocke fans, but with every addition to this category comes the diminishing of its specialness or meaning like how people use 'love' all the time instead of 'like'. How so? Because Jean Grey, Quentin Quire, Emma Frost, Professor Xavier, Psylocke, the Stepford Cuckoos, and very possibly No-Girl are all Omega-Level Telepaths. What's the problem? Who of the X-Community is a telepath and not Omega Level? All I can think of is Monet and in the end I'm sure it's a shorter list than the one above. As I mentioned before, [Omega level is just an entrance to pure suck] and I just hope that this trend dies off quickly (Psylocke fans, I'm not hating on Betsy, just the Omega Level classification).

Moving on, Ellis reveals that Emma still takes a special interest in her students:

From there Emma discovers the problem is two levels up which Cyclops immediately blasts with Wolverine leading the charge there. The reveal of this arc's villain is most....unexpected (and leads to one of the best group shots I've seen in a long time!):

Can I get that as a poster? Seriously.

Also, holy crap I forgot Abby Brand was still in this arc. Isn't she with the Secret Avengers now? Well, anyway, I feel like she's never been far away with her cousin Vicky Hand around (complete speculation/just-for-lols, but would you be surprised?).

Back to the story, the villain of. this arc. is............Yoanna! *Cue Free For All!* Actually no, but that would've been an improvement compared to what was finally revealed: A mutant. But angry message boarders hold those vile comments, it's not a mutant to further mangle the 198 rule, apparently it's a man whose mother survived Hiroshima so he's a technical mutant (as in one who could exist in real life). As if he's the ghost of Morrison's forgotten ugly mutants' past, he proceeds to criticise the X-Men for not being true freaks even Beast being generally likable to the eyes (this guy's frail, and gross-looking, also so weak he has to use a motorized wheelchair).

Note that Emma's almost looking to the 4th wall with a face that's totally, 'Yeah, so?'

It's basically Ellis commenting on how ridiculous it is that the X-Men are outcasts when they're all attractive and would probably be accepted as celebrities in the real world. Anyway, it turns out this guy's sole motivation for zombie-fest with the desecrating of Paradigm and Wallflower's bodies is just because these mutants are pretty so he feels he has no community with them so

he lashes out. Think it's anti-climatic and ridiculous? So does Emma as Ellis has her lampshade this moment by having her tell him he could've just written a nasty letter. 'Mutant' guy stands by his decision to try and kill them, so Cyclops goes and is about to kill him much to the horror of Storm and Beast who just told him off for this behavior. Instead Cyclops decides to let Abby Brand have him as her prisoner, and also instead of giving this guy his death wish, the X-Men are going to see to it that he's kept alive. From there the guy almost puts the building on self-destruct, but Hisako thwarts him. In the end, Wolverine smacks him in the face just in case he tries anything. Also much to the horror of his teammates. Here's his defense and a moment that makes me glad Wolverine's on the team (which is a rare feeling for me):

Oh honey, don't worry, you're as kind as a plague, and as mature as a fart joke, and for these reasons I love you!

This issue ends with Cyclops asking Brand if the bomb can still be detonated, she replies yes, and he says good because he was thinking about having Wolverine over it when it detonated. Which is a funny way to end it, but......that's it? That's really how this arc ends? As much as I appreciate Ellis saying everyone's too pretty to be believed because it's true, this felt anti-climatic and lazy.

Conclusion: As part of an arc, this issue is mediocre, but as an issue on its own, and being judged by how entertaining the characters were, it was great fun and I recommend you buy it ASAP. As I've said before, I still think Astonishing is one of the best, if not the best, X-Book, and I recommend it to anyone who wants the real X-Men. Also, a message to Warren Ellis, I'd like you to know that for writing Emma Frost 100% true to her Morrison/Whedon characterization despite other's horrible attempts and also your earlier fumbles, I offer you free sexual favors of gratitude which you can collect any time (you know, in the spirit of the diamond queen herself). But seriously, Ellis has Emma dead-on these days without missing a single beat, and I LOVE him for it. And I've critcized nearly every writers attempts at characterizing Emma, so for me to have no complaints is Haley's Comet rare.

X-Men: Curse of the Mutants- Storm + Gambit #1
Writer: Chuck Kim
Artist: Chris Bachalo
This book follows up the decision made in X-Men #2 to resurrect Dracula with the X-Men sending Storm and Gambit to be the ones to retrieve it as the vampires have put up shields to block from teleporting into their island base.

Rather than explain the plot, I'll just say the necessary: They're successful in the end. Also, this one-shot focuses more on Storm and her development with Gambit functioning as sidekick. I'd take more issue with this, but the lack of focus also means Gambit gets to just be the fun, charismatic thief that people love as opposed to the irksome attempts at developing his character further with his endless struggle with the uninteresting 'Death' persona.

Kim's Storm is a smart balance between a current regal Queen and a former warrior/thief returning to her old talents. Kim also takes an opportunity to have Storm wrestle with her feelings on killing that she's had to recently examine with the reveal of X-Force with the discovery that the shield blocking teleporting that needs to be taken down is powered by people being drained. A great conflict is brought in as time is of the essence with the vampires discovering Storm and Gambit's presence, but the only way she knows how to take care of the shield quickly is to bring it down with her powers and kill the human hosts (who are begging for her help). In the end she does bring down the shield, but is clearly wracked with severe guilt over what she's just done. It's the perfect move to put the task of killing (even if it's pretty much mercy killing) in the face of the Number 1 person opposed to the X-Men's recent kill-or-be-killed stance.

Kim's skillful handling of character even extended to ones who only played a minor role in this issue including Emma who sounded pitch-perfect when she was complaining about how ineffective Dazzler was in battle. It also continues a pre-existing rivalry between the Queen and the Cameo Queens, so good on Kim even though I believe Northstar and Emma could be divalicious as friends.

Bachalo's return to an X-Men-related comic is probably one of the most eagerly anticipated aspects of this one-shot, and he really was a welcome return, there's really nothing quite like his style. There was some fumbling with the fight scenes as things tended to get crowded and confusing to follow, which isn't an unheard of complaint on Bachalo's work, but for the most part everything was well-done.

Conclusion: This one-shot will probably be the best part of this event that piggybacks onto the current vampire trend, and it's simply a well-done story on its own. Bachalo and Kim were definitely welcome talents to the X-Men universe, and I for one would enjoy them gracing us with their presence again sometime soon.

Astonishing X-Men #34 Review + News

Astonishing X-Men #34
Writer: Warren Ellis
Artist: Phil Jimenez
Before I begin I just have to say that it's a weird feeling to throw a bookmark in Xenogenesis to return to Exogenetic, an arc I've mostly forgotten about at this point. It's also difficult to state both arcs' names without fucking it up; like seriously Ellis your next arc's title should stay away from the word "Gene" and anything that uses "x", "e", and "o".

This issue opens with Cyclops getting pissy with Beast over keeping notes on what experiments he's tried to restore mutantkind to its former glory because the enemy's managed to get a hold of them. It's pretty weak considering anyone who's just taken Bio in high school knows that scientists fucking LOVE their notes. It's difficult to believe that Cyclops would expect anything other than meticulous note-taking when it comes to Beast's experiments. You'll notice while this is going on that the divide between the team members is shown with Moral McCoy having other currently moral characters behind him and Cyclops having the amoral ones behind him [see it here]. Anyway, from here the fight evolves to Beast fucking giving it to Scott about his current attitude:

And that's the first time I've liked Beast in years. Beast's little rant reminds me of [this post] I made on X-Factor: Nation X about how it seemed like David was just using his characters as his mouthpieces to vent his criticisms on Utopia. Well, it seems like this is another example with Ellis using Beast to criticize how Cyclops is way too much of an asshole these days. Which I support because Cyclops really has been a mega-douche as of late.

Anyway, after this Cyclops and Beast share a smile and what seems like an understanding with Beast proceeding to tell him that he's not a killer and the way he's been acting just isn't him. Which is much better executed than Fraction's Beast who is just constantly drama queening out at Cyclops without ever seeming to try for a real sit-down discussion about what's going on.

Following this there's another monster-from-the-past attack as a genetic mix between Sauron and Brood attacks the team minus Beast and Cyclops who are continuing their heart-to-heart elsewhere. While this is going on Emma asks about Sauron and his abilities with Hisako and Storm letting her know that it's him and that he transforms. From there Emma does the telepath thing that I love so much:

And brings the Sauron/Brood hybrid back to human-ish mode. From there Cyclops and Beast catch up to the team and Cyclops instructs everyone to get off the ship they're currently in to the X-Plane and that him and Emma will be there in a second. That second being used to quickly share a kiss with Emma and then blast out the head of the mutant being used for whatever evil purposes that we saw last issue (he apologizes to it first at least).

Next we have the X-Men in the X-Jet trying to figure out where they are, and it's Storm who tells them they're in a remote part of Japan. She knows this because her being attuned to weather systems makes it so that she recognizes individual differences (and she's been to Japan before so she'd know what it feels like). Definitely an interesting aspect of her powers that I'd never heard before, but it makes sense.

The X-Men then wait in their ship as they watch the enemy's ship go into a mountain headquarters which they follow it into. Inside is a massive zombie workshop and watching the X-Plane enter on a screen is a bald-headed guy in a wheelchair. Yeah, so probably look forward to Xavier clone fight scene next issue?

Conclusion: Despite being a severely late issue to an arc that's almost been forgotten, it was still a great issue of Astonishing joy that beats out the lame crap being served out in most of the other areas of the X-Verse. The art is enjoyable as ever because Jimenez on art for anything is a genius move. Also, Ellis seems to have a great handle on the characters these days, particularly Emma who he spotlighted quite a bit this issue, and I just wish more people would tune into his take on the X-Men because it's way more believable than what's going on in Fraction's universe these days. And now for the news:

X-Men: Curse of the Mutants Saga #1
This isn't technically a review since saga's are just a compilation of previews, info, and interviews. Basically, it's all news. Except for my first comments which is concerning the cover [click here for a bigger version] and Namor on it. Um. If that neckline dropped any further we'd be seeing his sperm whale. Which is not a complaint, it's more like a suggestion. Namor's only asset to the X-Men is his constant state of skimpy dress, and I'm here to say I demand more of it for the rest of '10.

This saga starts with interviews and previews showing us who the major players of this arc are. Remember those "We are the X-Men" promos? Apparently those character are the major players. They're sort of a random, mismatched bunch; the worst being this guy--->

Apparently this marks X-Man joining the X-Men. Yeah, his "meh" face about it pretty much reflects mine. I really don't see his appeal, and now with his robe-like coat and his white streak and his older-looking face I just get a gross Hugh Hefner vibe.

The end of this saga is pages of major players in the X-Universe with biographies written by creators like Carey, David, and Yost. The players covered are Cyclops, Rogue, Gambit, Magneto, Multiple Man, Wolverine, Daken, Emma Frost, and...Karma. Yeah, her inclusion in this confuses me.

I have to say that Emma's page frustrated the fuck out of me [Here!] Done by the writer who did that awful Origins one-shot on Emma and art done by Brooks who I consider on Dodson's level of being too cartoon-y and cutesy to be taken seriously. What's worse is on the other side is Madrox done by Peter David with Pablo Raimondi's art which is as goddamned gorgeous as ever. The worst part is this attempt at redeeming Emma's days teaching the Hellions:

Yeah, she was a real softie when it came to the Hellions:

For heaven's sake, it's ok for her to have been an evil bitch.

It's ok if she's one now. Trying to redeem her further won't make the boards like her or make them stop bitching about her being a homewrecking whore. Just let her be herself, stop trying to make her Jean.

• In other Emma-related news, she's been definitely cast now in X-Men First Class with Alice Eve taking the role. A Google search on her has shown that I definitely could believe her playing a nasty ice queen with drag queen flair. [Source]
• Concerning the absence of this month's Gotham City Sirens, um, really? They made a last minute change from an Ivy arc with Dini to a Catwoman arc with Bedard for a reason that I'm not aware of, and this arc is completely bland. Bedard's stuff is generally bland really, and I'm just excited to see this arc wrap up as soon as possible.
• Remember when I was an ass about the week delay we're having for the next Second Coming chapter? Apparently the delay is due to Mike Choi's grandmother passing, so my bad, apologies to those who were offended by my bitching, I didn't realize.
  
• Be sure to check in next week, there's three books of massive importance coming: X-Force #27, the before last chapter of Second Coming; X-Men #1, the start of vampirepolooza; and most importantly the return of the Young Avengers with Childrens' Crusade.
  

The List #18 part 1

Astonishing X-Men #33
Writer: Warren Ellis
Artist: Phil Jimenez
This month we continue on with Astonishing still having a very similar zombie theme to X-Necrosha. It's honestly kind of sad because would this have happened some other time it would've been awesome, but now it just looks like a ripoff. Like don't get me wrong, I love zombie things, just watched Dawn of the Dead and last week played lots of Left 4 Dead 2, but still, there's no real reason why the X-Universe is having two separate zombie stories especially when one is a big crossover.

This issue is pretty much the same on energy level as the last two, it's good, but there's nothing that really sticks out. The first 8 pages are spent discussing what's going on. Except we had a couple pages dedicated to that last issue, so I just want to fucking move on sometime this year and 8 pages is definitely much for a setup of the plot. Especially when part of it is dumbass Hisako asking Brand questions. Seriously? I kept on wondering why the fuck no one was stopping her and telling her her only purpose on the team was to be backup muscle and make cutesy remarks that everyone ignores. Honestly, why the hell is she still on the team? Would she have retained the maturity and intelligence of Whedon's characterization of her, I could mayyyybe see it. But this is just messed up, the book is too serious to have use for some dumb-in-a-cheerleader-way high school girl. Seriously, look at the panel at the right (which is said to Logan when she's told to do something before him) and tell me that she doesn't make you wish she'd die in the next crossover.

Anyway, Brand questioned, fabulous panel of pissed off Emma, and then some Krakoa-like beast attacks and Cyclops does something amazing with his eye beam by splitting the thing in half (Click here for the scene, it's pretty awesome). And then we get two panels of pure faggotry that make me tingle with delight:

I love it when writers remember that Emma and Beast are all cultured and Emma especially has an interest in art. That and the continued adventures of shirtless Cyclops and Wolverine. Who are shirtless together again.

Not a whole lot else happened besides the team going to the ship chilling in the sky nearby and finding out some mutant from the past's corpse is doing it. Emma's dialogue was mostly good, she was a bit of a Chatty Cathy this issue and it ended up quantity over quality since some of her dialogue was really weak. But she was mostly irreverent so at least there's someone who has an idea of how to write Emma Frost these days. Egh, if you bought the last few issues, buy this one and if you didn't, do not.

Dark Avengers #12
Writer: Brian Michael Bendis
Artist: Mike Deodato Jr. (mostly)
This issue is a disappointment. This time around we get Victoria Hand being objectified as she is a lesbian now or at least bisexual, so she obviously is a dirty creature and likes to be humiliated by being stripped (seriously, I don't find her being stripped around the time that her sexuality is revealed a coincidence, though it's probably more along the idiot mentality of "Lesbians are really sexy if they're, like, really hot").

Anyway, that and Molecule Man is being a villain of insanity that no one cares about since we've already got insane villains, on a team actually. You may heard of them, they're called the Dark Avengers? He's mundane.

And we get nude Osborn a lot which I keep finding weird since this happens too often. And he's older. And I really weird to see the face of an at least 50 year old man drawn with the body of much younger man. Seriously, even older men who get ripped still show signs of aging in their bodies. And why Osborn? The Sentry might actually have a fan if you showed him naked!

Which brings me to the next thing. This issue also focused on the Sentry doing amazing things that would be cool, given anyone cared about him. But they don't so every time Dark Reign has even shown the spotlight on the Sentry for a second has been a second wasted since no one likes an annoying god-like figure who's just always dying and coming back worse than Jean Grey.

My prediction is that Victoria Hand and The Sentry probs will die once Dark Reign finishes. Or at least that's what I'm praying to The Divas That Be for. One amazing thing did happen this issue though:

Moonstone definitely went back to being Norman's right hand, and it's beautiful because she got into character immediately to help manipulate the Sentry while everyone else was confused and didn't know how to act. Moonstone is manipulative, and it should be emphasized how quick on her feet she can be about acting.

Overall, boring issue, do not waste your cash. This is pretty unfortunate considering I like this title overall, but this past arc has been iffy.

Dark Wolverine #81
Writer: Daniel Way and Marjorie Liu
Artist: Giuseppe Camuncolli
Checking in on Wolverine for a Moonstone appearance and I have to say I'm not sad to have ignored the title for the past few months. Nothing has changed, it's still a crap title with horrible art. I say just give the back book to that damned Logan and hopefully it will make one of his other title go away.

This issue basically poorly characterizes Moonstone and tries to make people think Daken is 'badass'. Anddd he's just a tired imitation, as I've said before. Anyway, Moonstone is poorly done in these ways:

a. Her inner monologue which lasts about 5 pages is absurdly general. She talks about people and secrets the entire time or masks or something similar. And none of it is anything most people have not heard before. It's so plain, it's really sad that there are two writers working on this piece of shit. One thing that's fun is that when she lands there's a panel dedicated to her boots which is wonderfully divalicious.

b. Moonstone was the shit stirrer of the Thunderbolts during Ellis' run. She had her nose in everyone's business, she had no real alliances and she was just in it for herself. The same idea stands now, or at least it does if a writer has any idea how to write her character. So I call poor writing on her 'shock' as the 'revelation' that Daken is out to screw everyone over. Aren't all the Dark Avengers??

c. And to add a vicious insult to injury, they made her admiration of Daken go from interest of his mind based on her being a shrink to Twilight-like infatuation. An interest in Daken's mind is understandable, I'd feel similarly though he would not be the first Dark Avenger who's mind I'd want to probe. But this bullshit of her seeming like she's in Bella Swan-like admiration of him is so very out-of-character.

To close, do not buy this issue and do not spend a single cent on the Dark Wolverine deal.

To conclude on the post, I know it has been a lot of ranting about the fail of this week's comics, but I've still got part two to do with X-Factor, X-Force, and X-Men Legacy and the reviews for those are going to be more positive.

Astonishing X-Men #32 Review

Writer: Warren Ellis

Artist: Phil Jimenez

This issue continues where the last one left, with Emma clearly still being in denial over Laurie Collins and her fake comeback. It's sort of an intense moment if you're paying attention because this moment sort of exposes how extremely fucked Emma is mentally when it comes to her kids being dead. Seriously, this is an accurate display of how Emma is a little nuts because of her past failures to save her kids.

Except one problem. This same scene JUST played last week in X-Necrosha. I mean this scene is superior to the other and just more believable for multiple reasons. Still, it's a repeat. But I mean, fucking last week's scene was worse for a big reason: She's stuck in diamond form. How writers expect to use Emma dramatically until this Void matter is fixed is ridiculous. Was anyone on the fucking X-Writing Team informed as to what the term emotionless means? Because it's not a disturbed reaction to dead students. She can't feel anything! If you're going to respect Fraction's poor choices, you also need to respect the conditions made by them.

But this all doesn't matter since Emma just ends up getting smacked by the Evil Dead Sentinel.

But she takes it like a diva!
(With heavy amounts of sweat, a crooked wig, and a crack pipe!)

And then that's it for her for the entire battle. Which is most of the issue. So you can imagine how endlessly interesting that was. Storm appeared for a page to zap some Brood, but she was just second place to Miss Frost for that Ignored During Battles Award. Miss Frost actually pretty much always should get that award since she's always fucking being knocked out, totally ignored, or like in X-Necrosha, not well enough to fight.

I get that she's not thought of as useful against sentinels, I played X-Men Legends. But for fuck's sake, is Beast? Is Wolverine? Armor? Cyclops, just barely really. It's a team of with mostly physically-based mutants. Emma is probably the most useful player in this fight, she's not just mildly bestial like Wolverine and Beast, her diamond power has no limits like Armor's armor. Cyclops is vulnerable as a normal man with eye beams. Only Storm really is more powerful in this battle. I have to say I'm glad the Brood is part of this arc though because I do enjoy them as scary motherfucking villains. Also:

I'm so down with the Brood missiles idea.
So many loads of awesome, it could get you pregnant.
(No, I'm not glorifying man fluids as superior, I just took the opportunity to make a dirty joke.)

Also, I've been reading around the review sphere, something I try to do sparingly since it affects what I think sometimes, BUT I've found this consistent complaint to merit mention here. According to some reviewers, Ellis is not writing the other X-Men to sound like themselves and that only Emma and Agent Brand sound like themselves. And it's said in such a way as if he can only write the snarky bitches. Except that means that he can't write them either if that's true since then he's just writing a bitchy woman stereotype mold thing rather than Emma Frost and Abigail Brand as two different characters. Emma Frost and Abby Brand are two completely different women, they may sound similar, but honestly, written right their humor is noticeably not the same. Emma's is more geared to be irreverent, cruelly honest and just meant to piss people off. Brand is simply sarcastic no emotion rather than Emma's tones of excited-to-be-mean even if she's pissed. Comparisons? Emma's funny like a drag queen and Brand is funny like the sexless, unpleasant, hardworking woman stereotype she often times also portrays.

Anyway, I actually do think Ellis is finally getting the hang of writing Emma especially now that he's not using the "If (negative condition) then I will simply (negative action)," formula. AND I totally think he's writing Logan as anyone else would write him: overspotlighted and needlessly "badass". It's biz as usual with him really. Whatever, I think most of the X-Men write now for the most part sound like themselves.

This panel is funny because Jimenez drew Scott in New X-Men and here he looks younger, more attractive, and having a better body than he did then. Those X-Men and their wacky aging. I hate to say it, but Scott looks a bit sexy here. And Emma's being divine in this scene.

This scene being Logan being all macho man and sassing Scott by saying is just trying to be manly by not having any painkillers while Logan has a healing factor so he can take more. And I'm sure his ability to "take it" is why he's all agitated manly man now. Oh the ongoing love affair between Scott and Logan, who knew the furry little animal was a bottom? By the way, do note both men's shirtlessness in this scene. Together yet again, you can practically hear them silently cursing Emma for being there.

That's just beautiful, that's what that is.
I've ALWAYS wanted someone else besides me to think up that threat.

Anyway, in the end of the issue apparently it's revealed the evil aliens are using dead mutants as weapons against the X-Men. Hmm. Yet again, X-Necrosha anyone? Seriously, does Ellis attend the writer conferences so this shit doesn't happen or is he like, "Fuck this, I’m writing about MY possessed dead mutants!” Whatever, I'm still more impressed with Astonishing anyway.

Conclusion: Ignore the reviewers who have shit to say about this arc. They probably like Fraction anyway, so you can imagine how much their opinion counts for. Astonishing still has the best cast, better art, and I'm just telling you to buy it. So do so.

The List #12

Astonishing X-Men #31
Writer: Warren Ellis
Artist: Phil Jimenez

First and foremost I would like to welcome back Astonishing after all this time, most importantly Phil Jimenez who is ideal for this book. That aside, this issue did not wow. Ten pages were spent explaining Abby Brand's situation and the Brood deal. Could have been done in five. Also, I have to wonder what is with the upgrade of Abby Brand's position. She continued into Ellis' Astonishing, is especially featured this arc, probably the most important supporting role in Spider-Woman, and a main character role in the upcoming S.W.O.R.D. I would not question this so much, but she's sort of a stock character. Hardass military woman. Lots of women fill the role in the Marvel universe.

This issue also welcomes back Emma's long-forgotten fangs. Seriously, the bitch is back and Ellis is finally understanding what it means to write her. There are definitely ample bitch faces throughout the issue which is like a personal present of love from Jimenez. He also does another character amazingly:

The Storm shots were epic as long as they weren't from faraway since they tended to get blob-y then.

I have to ask though, who picked out the Astonishing team? The power set is horrible. Three physically-based mutants (Beast, Armor, and Wolverine). Laser eyes with Cyclops. Weather-based powers with Storm. And telepath/physical Emma Frost. This team is definitely poorly balanced power-wise. Like horrifically, I can't imagine how they get things done. And I definitely have a vote for who should be kicked outtttttt. Luckily, Hisako's role this issue was extremely minimal.

This issue centers around getting Agent Brand's plummeting spaceship safely taken care of. She's predictably saved, ship not so much. But the best part is the end of the issue as Emma senses "Laurie Collins". Amazing panels except:

What is with the Farrah Fawcett hair? Seriously, please fix this hair don't, Jimenez.

The revelation is that it's not Laurie, and she goes like a Transformer into a sentinel. Well. Like a Sentinel made by the Evil Dead. Closing thoughts: Despite its underwhelming return, Astonishing is still one of the best X-Books so buy it!

Uncanny X-Men #516
Writer: Matt Fraction
Artist: Greg Land

This issue focuses on simply two things for once: Scalphunter's boring subplot and Magneto wanting to join the X-Men. Lame indeed, Fraction's two recruits could not be more horribly picked out. Two arrogant men. With Cyclops. Yeah. Honestly, this issue just served to prove Fraction can't entertain for crap. Here's a few moments of interest:

He later on explains that the machine that restored his powers made him feel like he was a twenty year old man again. Oh Fraction. Also, when Magneto came back Xavier burst into a full diva routine. Seriously, he was like the angry ex-boyfriend. Who especially peeved that his ex-BF wasn't there for him. Hmmm..... Anyway, this panel was also quite hilarious:

I so want to talk to someone like this. Open my mouth super-wide to say two brief words.

Sic him, Psylocke's ass!
It's all you see of her during her appearance. Maybe that's the source of her power.

Conclusion: Leave this one of the shelf.