The List #22

X-Factor #201
Writer: Peter David
Artist: Bing Cansino
Before I begin, my apologies for taking so long to make this post; it's been a shit week. This post is not going to be a lengthy one because I didn't find much to comment on this time around, my notes on Works didn't exceed a page which doesn't happen when I've got four books to discuss. Also, there will be no post for the Wednesday that just passed's comics since I don't read any of them.

This month's X-Factor just went to further proving that the Fantastic Four are a horrible team. The Thing doing his manly, unnecessary aggression really just did nothing but irritate me. I mean it's great that X-Factor still has action because sometimes it's too focused on the drama, but when it's totally unnecessary it's just... flat and irritating.

But some good news is Peter David is finally using his characters more evenly without having to have a double issue to make it work. Monet is getting a sub-story which I think works because she's a wonderful character and this story looks like it has nothing to do with Jamie.

Back at the main story it's all FF and The Thing is an add-on to the X-Factor team for the moment and he has THIS to say when they conclude that Doctor Doom probably has something to do with the Invisible Woman's disappearance:

Seriously, how is FF selling if this is their mentality??
Like how fucking dumb do you have to be to consider Doom giving up on you for a second?

Maybe David is just critiquing the FF like he did Utopia last month. I would love it if critiquing Marvel's teams became his ''thing' because he's just the guy to do it. And if that's the case I'm %100 behind him.

Overall: This arc just proves that the FF are a boring team that should just stick to one book. In obscurity. Written by Chris Claremont. But aside from that, this arc is really just forgettable and it falls into the between the ok and good area that I find David ends up in a lot.

X-Force #23
Writer: Craig Kyle and Chris Yost
Artist: Clayton Crain
This issue someone finally fucking dies. Unfortunately, it's characters of no consequence. Here's the death list, which means spoilers in case you're dense: Diamond Lil, maybe Leech?, and Onyxx. Onyxx just being cleanup by Yost and Kyle because he's redundant with Santo around. Why he was ever one of the remaining students always boggled my mind.

In other death news, MASSIVE SPOILER: Apparently She-Hulk and Ares died this week. What. The. Fuck. Two characters I enjoy greatly! Ares being killed by The Sentry which makes no sense because Ares could have a future after DA and without Bendis. The Sentry, not so much, his death is pretty much in high demand. And She-Hulk was killed by Red She-Hulk. Which is vicious disrespect.

This issue is pretty much the same amount of mediocrity and lack of progression that we've come to expect from this crossover. The end of the issue, they decide to invade Genosha to go destory Selene. They actuall had to come to that conclusion. At least Emma was the one to say Kill Selene considering she's been such a pansy in her emotionless diamond form. It seems writers believe her coldness is paper thin and can be ripped away so easily to make the plot seem that much more severe by having her, 'the heartless bitch', getting upset.

Overall, mediocre issue, only buy if you're collecting the crossover. OR if you happen to be a fan of Crain because he's had a couple spectacular moments during this issue and just seems to be on task at making things seem scary.

Gotham City Sirens #8
Plot and Art: Guillem March
Dialogue: Marc Andreyko
This issue revolves around my favorite Gotham Girl, Ivy, and luckily it's done right. But before we get to that, can someone tell me why she's drawn to look like a total tranny on the cover?

Also, I have to say something that occurred to me recently: Don't the Gotham Girls come off as that typical trio of sisters deal? Ivy, the serious older sister, Catwoman, the awkward middle sister, and Harley, the carefree younger sister. Or in Charmed terms, Ivy is Prue, Catwoman is Piper, and Harley is Phoebe.

Anyway, the issue is concerned with a copycat mimicking Ivy and her trying to get to the bottom of it, almost dying, and taking care of the situation. There's also flashbacks and I have to say I enjoy Ivy in Arkham because it better emphasizes her unique nature (but not in the Widening Gyre because I'm hate her being treated like some slut). And pre-Harley Quinn, Harleen the Shrink definitely interests me.

I also happened to love these panels--> Ivy presented as a 'weird' figure is always a joy especially considering the alternative is slutty Ivy.

An interesting discovery we found out this issue was that apparently Ivy can be revived from two weeks of starvation of sunlight, water, and nutrients by just throwing her in water. And it's not like she's pretty when she comes out of this starvation.

The issue concludes with Ivy finding her copycat, some guy who used to work at Arkham and she let's us in on her thoughts of love, men, and how she views herself:

I adore that she has no interest in love and just views it as a burden. Because otherwise she'd be paired up with the DC's version of Cyclops and subsequently defanged. Not only that, but a woman that's unconcerned with her love life is always refreshing considering how it's too often portrayed as the center of their universe. Also, she's sort of sexist and I'm all over it.

Conclusion: Wonderful Ivy issue, done-in-one story that's just a good read, so go out and buy it.

X-Men Legacy #232
Writer: Mike Carey
Artist: Clay Mann
Before I begin reviewing the issue, I have to let you all know I did my homework and got to the bottom of a very serious need-to-know issue. The results are that, yes, the easy access hole in Colossus' costume is part of Bianchi's original designs.

This issue begins with seeing the results of the battle that ensued after Blindfold was possessed by Proteus. The remaining team included a weakened Magneto, Husk, Rogue, Trance, and Psylocke, so it was all very Girl Power. And good news for Psylocke lovers, she ended up functioning as she always should: as the second-in-command and they eyes and ears of the team. She definitely got a big spotlight this issue and I'm glad to see Carey take an interest in her. And Magneto proved he's too old for this shit and a really useless addition to the team. Until he's evil again, of course. Then he'll find himself totally rejuvenated for no real reason except that he just went from good to bad.

Concerning Proteus, I have to say that after 8 seasons of Charmed and 7 of Buffy, possession is an overused plot thing and should be used sparingly because the story's usually the same.

After the first 8 pages of showing the results of the fight, we get to see the flashback to the fight with possessed Blindfold. Something did catch my eye, yet again the character involved is Colossus. Seriously, look at this panel with no context in mind. What is this guy's deal?? Did he sign on for teaching duties in the hopes that he could slam a few kids whenever they'd get out of line? Colossus is most definitely the headmaster of Xavier's School of Child Abuse. He just lives for the days when he has to punch out a few kids. Or even Jean when she's possessed.

Conclusion: Despite Proteus being a horrible villain in the most boring way possible, the issue was pretty good and I would definitely recommend buying this, the best part of the Necrosha crossover.

The List #11

Runaways #14
Writer: Kathryn Immomen
Artist: Sara Pichelli

In this final issue for at least the year, if not more, (Runaways, like X-Factor, is getting a reboot) we're once again shown why it's going off the shelves for a little. Awkward, boring dialogue from a writer who is essentially out-of-touch with teenagers and trying to sound hip. It fails so horribly. Basically, a big part of this issue is Chase being emotional and dark, which is a side of the character that has never been popular. That and some fake Gert is running around. Or at least I think that's how it works. But for all of Immomen's failings, she does manage to write "Gert", my favorite Runaways, a line worthy of her.

X-Force #19
Writers: Chris Yost and Craig Kyle
Artists: Mike Choi and Sonia Oback

Unfortunately, this issue failed to follow up last issue's amazingness. Instead, the story is mainly a bland look at X-23 running with some woman through The Facility. And my boyfriend Warpath doesn't even get a panel. What's weird about this issue is:

Child abuse is on the rise at Xavier's. Seriously Domino, the girls are still 16 years old for Christ's sake, go take your anger out on God for not making you the man you clearly are. Especially with this unjustified act of WTFaggression. Rockslide and Colossus'/Cyclops' weird man fights are strange enough, this is ridiculous. But Domino is right in calling the Cuckoos 'Emma lite'. Even though Emma right now is Emma lite.

In other news, Wolfsbane can go die now. Never have liked the character. EVER. And I've read her in lots of different periods. That and Selene is bucking for Emma's most naked female character title.

That and apparently Destiny is going to be part of Necrosha which is a fun twist. Especially since the X-Men's pool of the dead is so small what with pointless resurrections taking place every week. And that's it for X-Force for this month.

Gotham City Sirens #4
Writer: Paul Dini
Artist: Guillem March

One summarizing word: BLAND! But at least Ivy has a recurring role of saving the day.

New Mutants #5
Writer: Zeb Wells
Artist: Zachary Baldus

Another subpar story this week. (I know that my bitching about how disappointing these issues are is only so interesting, but Astonishing X-Men #31 is coming out tomorrow, so expect a good review!) The main factor for fail in this issue was the artist. Severely cringeworthy, people. Good things: Dani got some spotlight and it looks like she'll be a positive role model for what a woman is capable of like Mohawk Storm was. Bad: "Evil" Illyana is wearing punk clothes now as a sign of her "Badness". You fucking kidding me? Why must we stereotype among all of us outcast-based groups? That and Dr. Nemesis:

What a sketch he looks like in this panel. That and this man's pointless insults and overblown narcissism is tired. He's a House ripoff and should've been the member of the Science Team to die. He's not "badass", he's someone pathetically trying to act "badass".

X-Factor #49
Writer: Peter David
Artist: Valentine De Landro

K, so screw talking about this issue in entirety since I'm honestly bored by X-Factor at the moment. BUT we do have Ricstar love this issue, so I'm going to go over that starting with:

Confirmation that they were a couple before!

This issue finally gets out in the open Rictor's sexuality. But it also takes away panel time for additional Ricstar smoochies since Strong Guy and Rictor have an awkward conversation about the sexuality deal for like 8 pages. Or so it felt at least. Besides, I'd appreciate relationship-building to be seen rather than implied like it is in Young Avengers. Also, negative point is Shatterstar, though obviously in love with Rictor, refers to their coupling as a "friendship," and he also kisses Val when he meets her, taking a big amount of charge out of the Ricstar kiss and sort of insulting it. Hopefully issue 50 is MUCH better. And that concludes the review, I leave you with cuteness:

Dark Avengers/Uncanny X-Men: Utopia #1 Review

Writer: Matt Fraction

Artist: Marc Silvestri

Before I begin, I need to say where the fuck was Psylocke in this? She's on the cover, but not inside and that ticks me off because she was supposed to be present while being British and disapproving.

This one-shot begins with Trask and his boring inner monologue. Be prepared, writing done from boring viewpoints happens a lot in this issue. One thing I like about Silvestri's portrayal of Trask is:

He totally gave him a hick/70s porn star 'stache. I can totally go along with not liking him even more now.

Now this entire thing is very gay-tilted. It's about Prop X, which prevents mutants from reproducing even though originally mutants came from non-mutant parents. Plus we've got conservative hicks vs. "freaks". Sounding pretty gay metaphor-y? Yeah, except I find the gay comparison relied on way too much in this issue.

Anyway, the rednecks are heading to city hall when the mutants show and let me just say:

Fraction is totally pushing for the gay theme by putting Anole, Graymalkin, and Northstar as the front of the mutant team. Plus once-rumored-to-be-gay Beast. And the gay icon for readers who've not seen the light of Frost, Dazzler.
Side note: Jean Paul looks like a sex machine.

Then a riot between normals and freaks erupts and something of note is Hellion's choice of dress:

Quentin Quire, anyone?

Plus to make it more obv, we've got Glob Herman, QQ's BFF in the background. And by the way, you readers that bitch about Hellion's "emo" hair really need your eyes checked. Search emo hair. Long black hair in center part is unlikely to show up often. Seriously. STFU, I've had what's considered emo hair and I know what it is very well. That's not it. Stop getting up in arms over a male character being portrayed with some personal flair, not every guy character has to have your boring lack of personal style.

Post-riot, boring radio blurps about who's at fault. The X-Men stay at home. Then a meeting with the Mayor occurs in truly mundane fashion. I'll tell you what isn't mundane:

Emma's outfit. GIRRRLLL, show them assets off!

Attention shifts to Storm and T'Challa, FF4, and Avengers receiving the news. GOOD NEWS EVERYONE: Logan's only appearance is his hand snikting as he hears the news. Used as he should be used, much like fats should be eaten, sparingly.

Next the X-Peeps are split into teams and sent to guard certain positions. Cyke encounters Toad and verbally pwns him. Then he pwns him physically in a fabulous panel done by Silvestri.

Good one, Mr. Silvestri.

We turn to Osbourne and his Dark Avengers who are discussing the events occurring. And one of them dares insults Osbourne's hair! *Gasptastic!* (Heh, corn rows, I totally loled at that) And then, Daken says something that makes me wonder if his bisexual happening in Wolvie Origins was maybe not a one-time only.

Daken, you are truly the undiscovered Marvel Diva.

Back at the riots, things are getting tense as the X-universes lesbians, both good and evil, begin arguing.

It's really getting hot in here. But there will be no sexing, Karma's got her atrocious headband to guarantee that.

But it's all interrupted as Nekra gets slammed by the BJ-face inducing appearance of Ms. Moonstone and what she says is truly gasp-worthy:

I know girls, this really is quite upsetting. After all my criticism of personality-flat Emma, I didn't realize Moonstone had stolen it. My apologies to Fraction, I didn't know.

Back on the other side of the riot, Colossus apparently beat up Rockslide. Holy child abuse, Batman, how many senior X-men are going to kick the shit out of him before social services is called?

Then more Dark Avengers crap, Bullseye shows how boringly psychotic he can be while Ares makes a truly grand appearance that I actually found fun:

Until he threatened the gays.
Dressed like a total leather-bound bear.
I love how gay this issue is!

Then Emma finally has a scene and the first panel of her looks like she's experienced the facelift from hell. Luckily, Silvestri picks his shit back up and draws her flawlessly again. All the while Emma and Osbourne have a totally confusing as shit conversation, not for it's "mystery", but it's dialogue seems awkward.

The issue wraps with Cyclops being arrested with the Cuckoos, but running off. With the girls doing nothing. Something Fraction does not seem to understand is A. Before their diamond hearts, the Cuckoos were still quite creepy and not at all valley girl-ish. B. They were pretty detached from the institute and it's code of morals. C. Lastly, they didn't let anyone push them around:

Got it?

Overall, the issue's art made me want to jizz continuously, Silvestri is amazing. Except sometimes his girls get too much treatment in the lips, tits, and ass dept. Also, when they "gasp" they look like blowup dolls. Fraction, on the other, did not do well. Telling the story through generally boring points of view, too much buildup with little delivery and barely any real action yet. I know this story is exposition for an event, but it also needs it's own climax yet it turned out to be all exposition. He also seemed to rely on the gay metaphor too much for me to think it clever.