The List #35 Part 1 + News

Gotham City Sirens #14
Writer: Tony Bedard
Artist: Andres Guinaldo
Turning away from the bland Maggie Kyle story, we return to my favorite Bat-villain, Poison Ivy. This issue it's revealed that one of her reasons for working at S.T.A.R. labs was because she'd heard about a "re-foliant" that could restore the rain forest in a way that's beyond her powers. It's revealed that this technology has problems, and comes from a guy who's "dead" but kept in the labs. From there Ivy learns he's actually a plant from a planet where plants ruled. How she learns this is through communing with a leaf on his body, and what follows this is:

Yet another possession.
That's 2 within 3 issues of your run, Bedard.

Ivy ends up being possessed into helping restore the alien guy, and they end up going on a rampage. She also turns purple and gets total man-hands. That's the issue.

Despite this being an issue centered around Ivy, it carried none of her voice or style, and just turned into a "meh" story. Also, if you remember the original solicits had GCS 12 being about Ivy and her new 'boyfriend' before Bedard took over as writer and changed it to the Kyle sister's story. Well, it seems this is the recycled idea of what was supposed to happen with Dini, and I have to say I think Dini would've done it a lot better. Also, did Ivy really need to be possessed to think that plants taking over the world is a good idea? All the alien guy needed to say was, "I'll help you out," and she would've gone for his plan. Yet again, one of the flaws of this series is that the writers seem to forget that these women were villains, and should still be.

Conclusion: This series was already having it's issues before Bedard came along, and now it seems this series is getting turned into bland city under his hand. Leave it on the shelves until Hurricane Bedard's passed.

X-Factor #207
Writer: Peter David
Artist: Sebastian Fiumara
It's been awhile since I've discussed X-Factor here due to it having been pretty mundane during that time. However, X-Factor is bouncing back...or at least giving me what I want to read.

This issue opens with Hela in disguise asking for Madrox's help in finding a pendant, and she has a picture of the guy who did it. Madrox finds him and it turns out this guy was using the pendant to glamour himself into looking human as he is a....leprechaun? Something along those lines. The best part of this search being the return of:

"Banshee's" Siren Song!
It's definitely one of the cooler aspects of her powers.

And of course I'm just thrilled to see Siryn back in action (fuck the name change, according to this blog she's Siryn). Another thing that happens this issue is Monet resolves her plot line that's been going on in a very clever way. I'd explain it, but I'd also have to explain what went on during the past few issues and I don't know what happened because I haven't read in awhile. Moving on to the reason why I'm back with X-Factor: Rictor and Shatterstar!!

Finally they get some real page time as a couple; I've been waiting for this since they kissed. While at a shooting range, Ric is trying to teach Shatterstar how to shoot a gun with Star finding it a waste of time (especially since when he does he has perfect accuracy). Rictor asks if he's a waste of time too, and finally, the issue of Star's kissing everyone is addressed. Basically, Star is finally discovering the magical wonder of different sorts of emotional relationships as well as sexual, and he wants Rictor to be there with him through it. Despite Star wanting to sleep everyone, he wants Rictor with him to experience this (so there might be threesomes in the future??) Anyway, this panel helps elaborate plus there's Ric/Star kisses:

You better believe I squeed at this.

The next time we see them they're getting to bed, resolving to work through this together, and possibly about to get it on when guess who walks in the door: Rahne. What a cockblock, and as if I needed another reason as to why she's #1 on my who-I-want-dead list.

In the end, this explanation of Star's behavior is the best executed I could've hoped for besides erasing the idea it ever happened. Plus, the fact that they finally got some meaningful time as a couple thrills me to no end. I'm still about as much of a fan of Star's issue as Rictor, but whatever, I can deal if they're still trying to be a serious couple. Anyway, it seems Ricstar are going to be the focus of part of this arc, so definitely go out, buy this issue, and get back on board with X-Factor. Plus I heard one of them leaves at the end of this arc, and I'm so crossing my fingers for it to be Longshot or Darwin. And now for the news:

(Some of this is a little old due to the hectic week I had last post time)

• This beautiful poster done by Marco Djurdjevic and revealed during Comic-Con. Seems to me it'll be split up and used as variants for the X-Books. For a better look, go [Here]
  

• As last weekend was Comic-Con, it's generally agreed that one of the best parts of it was when the full cast of the upcoming Avengers movie getting up on stage. [Source]

• Also among the Comic-Con news was this: "Next, a woman said, "Matt Fraction, thanks for giving Cyclops his balls back." Seriously, lady? WTF. [Source]

• For those of you who've enjoyed my Comparison posts, reader X-23 has made a post comparing Dr. Nemesis and Emma Frost and I recommend you go check it out. [Here]

• Also, if you really like comparisons, I found an entire site devoted to just that. [Here]

• Nick Spencer, who wrote the amazing Forgetless, is coming out with a new ongoing series soon called "Morning Glories". Expect to see rave reviews about it on here, I can't wait for it! [Source]
  

The List #24

Gotham City Sirens #9
Writer: Paul Dini
Artist: Guillem March
A lot of this issue focuses on the Riddler, it's his thought bubbles that are central this issue. And I have to say I find this irritating. The series is called Gotham City Sirens, not Gotham City Reformed Villains. If Dini is dying to write a series on The Riddler then go do it, but stop subjecting this series to constant detours to The Riddler when it's supposed to be about the women. It's especially insulting because it seems The Riddler appears every time something needs to be taken seriously, as if the girls are incapable of carrying a serious plot on their own. I'd say it goes so far as to suggest that female villains aren't to be taken as serious.

Another thing that gets me is since when is Ivy a reformed villain? I know Catwoman and Harley are, but Ivy just seems to have slipped into it without any real explanation. More importantly, who are the villains these days? With Ivy, Harley, Catwoman, and The Riddler all reformed it feels like all the best ones besides the Joker are gone.

This issue focuses around a body being dropped into the girls' home and Eddie trying to figure out what they were all doing before then. Harley's day is riddled with 'cutesy' crap and just details of her eccentric nature. Yet again, a mistake is made in writing Harley. The appeal of Harley is that her personality is such a contrast from her line of work. Her cuteness is odd in such a dark setting, and that's her appeal. Instead, Dini has focused in on her too much during this series and humanized her way too much. It's hard to believe she's ever been sick and twisted.

As for Ivy, it appears she was out at a job interview. Which I adore because I've already said I adore the fact that she's written to not need a man and has strong devotion to her cause. Making her a career woman just makes things even better.

As for Catwoman, apparently she was out sparring with Catman. And as a sidenote, I know I've stated before that Catwoman is the Gotham Girl I care about the least, but I've been looking into her recent appearances this past week and I have to say I find myself liking her now. I think it's up to Dini to spotlight her right now considering she's the least worked on Gotham Girl.

Anyway, the girls wrap up their stories and The Riddler goes to their home to check out the body. He makes a note of how the villain neglected to us the specific weapons and materials the girls would have which sort of brings the idea of villainy being an art (especially in such a villain focused universe as the Batman universe).

In the end it turns out the villain trying to frame the girls was none other than... Dr. Aesop!! Yeah, I have no idea who he is, but that's what I get for only reading Batman issues with Ivy in them. Conclusion: I'd say that this issue is worth the buy so long as you don't mind The Riddler.

X-Factor #202
Writer: Peter David
Artist: Bing Cansino
Here's the basic idea of this issue: Layla's working with Dr. Doom and apparently there's an impostor Doom or something from an alt. universe. I think. Whatever, anyway it turns out Invisible Woman is being kept in Castle Doom and it hooked up to a machine where she's exploring trashed fantasies with Namor. And we also finally get to know what Imperius Rex means, an explanation I certainly wouldn't deny.

In the end Monet interrupts and gets Sue out of the machine, everyone on the offensive team runs to go confront Doom. And they come upon a most unexpected scene as they come upon Doom...painting Layla's portrait. Which I kind of love because I have to say Doom humor, or as it should be called 'Dumor,' is a guilty pleasure of mine.

What a diva.

During the closing of the issue, Doom claims to just have been trying to protect Sue and reiterates that he's no longer after the FF4. As everyone is departing it seems an artist mistake was made. It seems Layla was colored to look like Monet (possibly drawn as well?), and the mistake was only fixed by having the 'M' tattoo put on the mis-drawn Layla.

Anyway, the team leaves except Layla makes Shatterstar behind with her and Doom for reasons currently unknown. Oh and back at home the evil Reed Richards is defeated. Conclusion: This issue crossed over the limbo between ok and good that David regularly visits and went into the more positive limbo of between good and great. I would say consider buying it.

X-Men Legacy #233
Writer: Mike Carey
Artist: Clay Mann
This issue is basically made up of two parts. The first is Rogue discovering that Betsy's psi-knife can de-possess and subsequently psi-knifing everyone. You can imagine how tense that was. And the second was Proteus and Magneto's fight which was filled with, "Bah, old man, you're weak, you'll die!.......BAH! Old man, you're weak..." and Magneto in the end 'surprisingly' winning.
A couple things of interests included recreating a scene from the old days of Kurt teleporting around Rogue (this time possessed and trying to possess her, not tickle her) and Rogue eventually predicting his next move. Also, since when can Paige use her bodies of different substances to make powers? Like in this issue she became a fire form while possessed and managed to shoot flames at Rogue. Proteus' reality-bending or is Paige getting an upgrade?

Anyway, possessed Husk is most resistant to Rogue and almost ends up defeating Rogue when Betsy steps in with her psi-knife. And Magneto screws around with Proteus' electromagnetic thingy to make it go away. Afterwards, Rogue and Destiny have a really cute mother/daughter scene. I've always found the Mystique/Rogue mother/daughter relationship sort of unconvincing, but when Destiny's added to the mix I have to say the dynamics make a lot more sense. And it's a tragedy that Destiny couldn't be developed more because I do enjoy her character.

Destiny eventually goes to see Blindfold and we find out that two pre-cogs cancel each other out. And I just realized almost all of the X-Men characters who've been precog at one point or another have also been blind at one point or another. (Destiny, Blindfold, Psylocke, and Gambit. Preview is the only seeing one I can think of.) Destiny tells Ruth she's not her ma and tells her what she knows. Apparently there's an evil brother in the mix, which I can imagine is going to be the subject of a future arc.

And that's it for X-Men Legacy's part in the Necrosha crossover. Probably the one with the least amount of impact yet the best one out of the three. I would definitely recommend buying this arc if you're interested a simple but good superhero arc.

X-Force #24
Writers: Craig Kyle and Chris Yost
Artist: Clayton Crain
In terms of last issue's body count, apparently it's Onyxx, Diamond Lil, and Meld, who I thought was Leech.

This issue starts with Warpath being taken to see Selene, Wither and Eli Bard get into a fight where Wither reveals he's also part-vampire or whatever Eli is. Then Selene kills Eli for his bullshit, and hopefully she'll get killed for her soon since she's just a boring villain in goth lingerie who's into S+M. Not exactly the height of originality.

Warpath is taken into the dungeons so that he can be forced to fight his resurrected brother. He resists, and Johnny can't stop himself but apparently tells James how to kill Selene.

X-Force arrives on Genosha and right as they arrive a few discoveries are made. The first being that Elixir changed Rahne's powerset a bit when he was healing her because of her pregnancy. That and apparently Vanisher's tumor is no more, but he's definitely got some sort of STD that causes spitting up blood. Vanisher ends up deciding to stay with the team though and goes to save James. And Blink, being the bitch she is, blows up Telford's arm as he's in the process of saving because no good deed goes unpunished.

X-Force's presence is discovered and there begins epic fight scene which is mixed in with Selene's ritual prep. The ritual eventually happens, can't tell if all the resurrected people die in the process, but I suppose it's to be assumed. And so now Selene's a god. The God of Boring Cliche's I'd wager.

Conclusion: This issue is only somewhat more interesting and intense than past issues, but it still ends up being pretty mediocre and not all that intense.

New Mutants #10 Review + News

Writer: Zeb Wells
Artist for Japan scenes: Paul Davidson
Artist for Utopia scenes: David Lopez and Alvaro Lopez
Before I begin, what the hell is with all the Deadpool variants this month? I'm sorry, but is a comedy-driven character really meant to have this much exposure? Seriously, a lot of what I've read of him is just cheap humor. Quality over quantity, people. But what Deadpool says is interesting enough because indeed Scott does have his hand over Emma's piece. Which is sort of symbolic considering how much he's been silencing her lately due to her pesky logical suggestions.

This issue begins with Sauron and the other Savage Land mutates attacking a ship in Japan in order to go to Utopia because they think Magneto is in control of Utopia. New Mutants go in to diffuse the situation which means time for an action scene! Something interesting about the Savage Land Mutates though:

They have Conan the Barbarian on their team?

Anway, Wells has some pretty good moments with Dani being a badass and Sunspot's humor this issue. For instance, Dani turning the X-Jet too harshly at one point, causing Sam to fall out, and when Karma tells her of this she's just responds oh whatev, he can fly. I also enjoyed how Sunspot referred to Cypher and Warlock:

Back on Utopia, Scott and Emma are watching how the New Mutants take care of the situation. Emma badgers Scott asking what he's up to and she ends up having to figure it out on her own:

Indeed, Scott is looking for a leader amongst the New Mutants and apparently he's not focusing in on Sam as one would assume. Which thrills me, even the idea of Cyclops not running the X-Men anymore just makes me salivate. Also, the art for the Utopia scenes is done by two artists. Which is a joke. A significant amount of the panels were Emma or Scott with a blue background. It's worse than when Land does it because it's just a fucking shade of blue. The only positive to this art was that Emma's costume was put back into pre-Bianchi edit besides the X in the center of her cleavage and the bodice is split down the middle. Also, something Cyclops mentioned this issue definitely caught my eye--->

Yeah, because it fucking happens so often. Kate Pryde, Rachel Summers/Grey, Cable, Bishop, Layla Miller, and now this version of Magik. It's been the focus of the past two years with the Messiah Complex and X-Factor and Cable have barely left any of that crap yet. Someone coming from the future to tell the present that it's doomed is as overused as possession on Charmed. Or actually, the same idea fits for Charmed too.

Back in Japan, it turns out Worm is controlling most of the other mutates, and now half the New Mutants, in order to drag them all to Utopia. Dani and Karma take him on with Karma shining by entering Worm's mind to correct him. Essentially the gal's saved the day which I always enjoy. In the end, Worm and the mutates just go back to the Savage Land because they're too dangerous for Utopia and Japan's like, "Whatever, I'm getting cheese fries."

Conclusion: Wells is strong yet again, but the artists sort of fail the story this time around. Davidson was sort of a flop with the battle scenes, but otherwise enjoyable. And the Lopez's were very middle school comic book making. Buy it if you've bought the other issues.

Oh and also, I've got some news:

• Strap on your roller skates and get out your Lady Gaga face paint, this May Diva Dazzler is getting her own one shot and I will definitely be covering this campy event. Source: [CBR].
  

• Apparently Emma was in last week's Wolverine Weapon X #10 where she acted exactly like she always should: Creepy, cold, and kind of psychotic. Find the scans here and here.

• In this week's X-Position with the editors, my favorite question was this: "How do you guys see Cyclops, Xavier, and Magneto right now? Many people feel like Xavier and Magneto have regressed from "X-Men: Legacy" to their appearances in "Uncanny X-Men" and that they're acting "out of character."" It received a bullshit answer, but I love open criticism of Fraction's crap writing. There was also an X-Men Origins: Emma Frost one-shot mentioned which irritates me because the idea of Fraction writing it just boils my blood.

• Along with many other spoiler-full teasers, we got the announcement of Luke Cage leading the new Thunderbolts, which has a roster that includes my beloved Moonstone. Guess that's yet another person we know is not dying in Siege. Which is almost a good spoiler considering I'm still mourning Ares. [Newsarama]

• And that's all for this week, next week I'm going over Dark Avengers #14, Psylocke #4 (the conclusion issue!), Spider-Woman #6, and Uncanny X-Men #521.
  

The List #22

X-Factor #201
Writer: Peter David
Artist: Bing Cansino
Before I begin, my apologies for taking so long to make this post; it's been a shit week. This post is not going to be a lengthy one because I didn't find much to comment on this time around, my notes on Works didn't exceed a page which doesn't happen when I've got four books to discuss. Also, there will be no post for the Wednesday that just passed's comics since I don't read any of them.

This month's X-Factor just went to further proving that the Fantastic Four are a horrible team. The Thing doing his manly, unnecessary aggression really just did nothing but irritate me. I mean it's great that X-Factor still has action because sometimes it's too focused on the drama, but when it's totally unnecessary it's just... flat and irritating.

But some good news is Peter David is finally using his characters more evenly without having to have a double issue to make it work. Monet is getting a sub-story which I think works because she's a wonderful character and this story looks like it has nothing to do with Jamie.

Back at the main story it's all FF and The Thing is an add-on to the X-Factor team for the moment and he has THIS to say when they conclude that Doctor Doom probably has something to do with the Invisible Woman's disappearance:

Seriously, how is FF selling if this is their mentality??
Like how fucking dumb do you have to be to consider Doom giving up on you for a second?

Maybe David is just critiquing the FF like he did Utopia last month. I would love it if critiquing Marvel's teams became his ''thing' because he's just the guy to do it. And if that's the case I'm %100 behind him.

Overall: This arc just proves that the FF are a boring team that should just stick to one book. In obscurity. Written by Chris Claremont. But aside from that, this arc is really just forgettable and it falls into the between the ok and good area that I find David ends up in a lot.

X-Force #23
Writer: Craig Kyle and Chris Yost
Artist: Clayton Crain
This issue someone finally fucking dies. Unfortunately, it's characters of no consequence. Here's the death list, which means spoilers in case you're dense: Diamond Lil, maybe Leech?, and Onyxx. Onyxx just being cleanup by Yost and Kyle because he's redundant with Santo around. Why he was ever one of the remaining students always boggled my mind.

In other death news, MASSIVE SPOILER: Apparently She-Hulk and Ares died this week. What. The. Fuck. Two characters I enjoy greatly! Ares being killed by The Sentry which makes no sense because Ares could have a future after DA and without Bendis. The Sentry, not so much, his death is pretty much in high demand. And She-Hulk was killed by Red She-Hulk. Which is vicious disrespect.

This issue is pretty much the same amount of mediocrity and lack of progression that we've come to expect from this crossover. The end of the issue, they decide to invade Genosha to go destory Selene. They actuall had to come to that conclusion. At least Emma was the one to say Kill Selene considering she's been such a pansy in her emotionless diamond form. It seems writers believe her coldness is paper thin and can be ripped away so easily to make the plot seem that much more severe by having her, 'the heartless bitch', getting upset.

Overall, mediocre issue, only buy if you're collecting the crossover. OR if you happen to be a fan of Crain because he's had a couple spectacular moments during this issue and just seems to be on task at making things seem scary.

Gotham City Sirens #8
Plot and Art: Guillem March
Dialogue: Marc Andreyko
This issue revolves around my favorite Gotham Girl, Ivy, and luckily it's done right. But before we get to that, can someone tell me why she's drawn to look like a total tranny on the cover?

Also, I have to say something that occurred to me recently: Don't the Gotham Girls come off as that typical trio of sisters deal? Ivy, the serious older sister, Catwoman, the awkward middle sister, and Harley, the carefree younger sister. Or in Charmed terms, Ivy is Prue, Catwoman is Piper, and Harley is Phoebe.

Anyway, the issue is concerned with a copycat mimicking Ivy and her trying to get to the bottom of it, almost dying, and taking care of the situation. There's also flashbacks and I have to say I enjoy Ivy in Arkham because it better emphasizes her unique nature (but not in the Widening Gyre because I'm hate her being treated like some slut). And pre-Harley Quinn, Harleen the Shrink definitely interests me.

I also happened to love these panels--> Ivy presented as a 'weird' figure is always a joy especially considering the alternative is slutty Ivy.

An interesting discovery we found out this issue was that apparently Ivy can be revived from two weeks of starvation of sunlight, water, and nutrients by just throwing her in water. And it's not like she's pretty when she comes out of this starvation.

The issue concludes with Ivy finding her copycat, some guy who used to work at Arkham and she let's us in on her thoughts of love, men, and how she views herself:

I adore that she has no interest in love and just views it as a burden. Because otherwise she'd be paired up with the DC's version of Cyclops and subsequently defanged. Not only that, but a woman that's unconcerned with her love life is always refreshing considering how it's too often portrayed as the center of their universe. Also, she's sort of sexist and I'm all over it.

Conclusion: Wonderful Ivy issue, done-in-one story that's just a good read, so go out and buy it.

X-Men Legacy #232
Writer: Mike Carey
Artist: Clay Mann
Before I begin reviewing the issue, I have to let you all know I did my homework and got to the bottom of a very serious need-to-know issue. The results are that, yes, the easy access hole in Colossus' costume is part of Bianchi's original designs.

This issue begins with seeing the results of the battle that ensued after Blindfold was possessed by Proteus. The remaining team included a weakened Magneto, Husk, Rogue, Trance, and Psylocke, so it was all very Girl Power. And good news for Psylocke lovers, she ended up functioning as she always should: as the second-in-command and they eyes and ears of the team. She definitely got a big spotlight this issue and I'm glad to see Carey take an interest in her. And Magneto proved he's too old for this shit and a really useless addition to the team. Until he's evil again, of course. Then he'll find himself totally rejuvenated for no real reason except that he just went from good to bad.

Concerning Proteus, I have to say that after 8 seasons of Charmed and 7 of Buffy, possession is an overused plot thing and should be used sparingly because the story's usually the same.

After the first 8 pages of showing the results of the fight, we get to see the flashback to the fight with possessed Blindfold. Something did catch my eye, yet again the character involved is Colossus. Seriously, look at this panel with no context in mind. What is this guy's deal?? Did he sign on for teaching duties in the hopes that he could slam a few kids whenever they'd get out of line? Colossus is most definitely the headmaster of Xavier's School of Child Abuse. He just lives for the days when he has to punch out a few kids. Or even Jean when she's possessed.

Conclusion: Despite Proteus being a horrible villain in the most boring way possible, the issue was pretty good and I would definitely recommend buying this, the best part of the Necrosha crossover.

The List #19 part 1

Gotham City Sirens #7
Writer: Paul Dini
Artist: David Lopez
I generally don't like holiday-related specials these days. True, Harley and Ivy's 'Holiday Knights' is one of my favorite Harley and Ivy appearances. But usually the conflict is half-hearted, it's tacky, and somewhere in there all the conflicts are resolved (like Sage magically curing Gambit's blindness in that X-Men holiday issue?). This issue on the other hand restored my faith in this series. It's the second best issue out of the series, with #1 being the best. Anyway, this issue used the holidays as background with diving in the character's motivations being the main objective.

We start off with Selina, she kicks a couple bad guys' ass for the new Batman and meh, it doesn't matter because I only care about the Michelle Pfeiffer Catwoman. Moving on we find Ivy spending her holidays in Central America, at peace with nature and all that. Her spotlight sort of answers a question that's been on my mind ever since I read Batman: Poison Ivy and that is: Why didn't she just go back to a land where she'd be worshipped and at home? And I think the following answer is one that I find believable and something that would make sense:

It makes sense to want to be in a place where there's an actual challenge as opposed to living in a place you already have dominance. Anyway, she goes over this and saves some tourists from being killed by drug dealers.

Back in the U.S., Harley goes to visit her family, something I forgot she probably had especially since I don't recall ever hearing about it being explored. Dini uses her family to explain a lot of her behavior, which is cool and all, but he almost overdid it, as if her entire being is defined by how her family is. Anyway, this starts with Harley coming home and her mom, to put it lightly, grudgingly letting her stay. Turns out Harley's the overachiever of her family, as her dad is a con, her mentally unbalanced mom just seems to be the one who lets all the bullshit slide, and her brother's a bum with kids.

Anyway, we find out what Harley actually gave some of her money to her brother for his kids and himself. The unfortunate part is he's a man and as Mrs. McClusky from Desperate Housewives would say, "Men are genetically incapable of realizing their dreams are stupid." Not that this applies to all, but if you're past 35, your band isn't going to fucking make it. Did anyone else see that episode of Intervention with the guy and his dumb "band" dreams and how they were worse than his meth problem?? Ugh, when I was 17 and I had two friends in a band that actually practiced and they were surrounded by adoring fellow musicians and all I ever heard was their ideas that they'd get discovered in Bangor or some shit. Bangor?! Seriously!? I love having friends in bands, but I hate listening to their illogical plans to hit it big.

Back to Harley, her mother puts up with all her family's B.S. and is just content that Harley's brother isn't a criminal like Harley and her dad so she lets him sit around as much as he wants. It's very obvious the stress of having criminals in the family has gotten to her, and she ends up exploding at one point. Harley also goes to visit her father and during then she explains her motivation for going into Psych:

I find it goes too far in explaining her, but whatever. He fakes having turned over a new leaf, she buys it and explains she's also kept some of her fortune for him and her mom. Then it turns out he's still just as much a con as ever which is the last straw for her putting up with her family. She leaves the house to go back to the hideout and we get a tour of the remodeled version.

Overall, a massive improvement to the previous issues. Like almost all of them. Which is good since I've tried to root for this series since I heard about it, but it's hard to root for good characters being used incorrectly and ignored in their own series. Also, I have to say the spotlight, when not focusing on a male character, too often goes to Harley. Anyway, buy this issue and that's it.

Uncanny X-Men #519
Writer: Matt Fraction
Artist: Terry Dodson
As can be seen in the preview, we start this issue off with another attempt by Fraction to try and be Grant Morrison by mirroring him. In this case, we get the re-intro. of Fantomex, a character I despise for his very forced 'badass' appeal. Seriously, we already have Deadpool, is this character really necessary? In more Fraction isn't Morrison news, Beast ends up saying "Sorry, million miles away" which is you've read Riot at Xavier's, you'll notice that in there too. This copy and paste shit really chaps my ass.

In other news, Scott is possessed by The Void now and everyone's all up in arms. Apparently Fraction's tried to justify this move and it still stinks like shit. How is Cyclops remotely useful to The Void if everyone knows Scott's possessed?! Seriously, with Emma's abilities the Void had the power to erase that fact from everyone. Fraction just does not play things out logically.
Anyway, Scott's possessed and The Void is apparently nothing but black ink that whispers your insecurities to you. Are we really supposed to take that as threatening. Worse yet, Cyclops beats it by using his repression, since he's a man of cimplicated depth and emotion! Seriously, Repression as a weapon? It's not genius, it's bullshit, people, do not be fooled. More interesting was in the event of The Void possibly taking over, we had a backup plan:

Psylocke's ass!
If this happens again, I'm just going to have to make a tag for it.

Anyway, the three boring sub-plots at work this issue: Magneto wants to save the sinking island, tells Namor to go get his peeps, looks like the imminent betrayal is shockingly imminent. That and apparently the Predators had nanobots on them. Oh and Beast is taking a break to go screw around in the probably-going-to-be-cancelled-by-issue-5 new series Sword. Finally, his whining has really done nothing but make me feel unsympathetic and wanting him to be out sooner. Honestly, in a world where Wolverine shrugs torture off every day and Fraction has no idea how to convey depth, I just don't see how anyone can sympathize with Beast and his traumitizedness.

Conclusion: Don't fucking buy this, it's not even funny it's horribleness these days.

What If? Astonishing X-Men
Writer: Jim McCann
Artist: Ibraim Roberson and David Yardin
To start, read this preview first, if you haven't already because it's fabulous and also saves me from having to post three million panels that I like from it. I'd like to say that I almost didn't recognize this version of Emma because it's her written right! And heaven knows we haven't seen that in awhile.

Also, what the fuck is with Jean on the cover? She looks so Bella Swan it's sickening. Stop looking hurt, Marvel's-substitute-for-God! This is definitely a good place to put the story since, A. it definitely was a stated possibility in the "Gifted" arc that the ex-teammate could have been Jean and B. this is when Scott and Emma's open relationship was really fresh. If you recall, in New X-Men we never found out who Scott chose since Jean died. Scott didn't even really go to Emma post-Jean re-death; Jean ended up pushing them together. So Emma's insecurity is totally justified.

The plot continues with the bit of Cassie Nova still in Emma and influencing her into taking the Phoenix out of the Cuckoos. Except seems to me that story happened much later than 'Gifted'. That and I would like to say that I don't think Emma was such a bitch in the older days just because Cassie Nova was up in her shit. Emma Frost is a bitch. Plain, simple, and absolutely unchanging. Anyway, Emma becomes Phoenix and ends up devouring the Breakworld before anything becomes an issue. She also attacks the Breakworld with something other than fire life incarnate:

Cattiness!
Hide your fake Chanel sunglasses, boys and girls, or the Phoenix won't leave you with a shred of your self esteem!

Anyway, Emma returns to Earth and starts a killing spree there while the Astonishing team collects itself. Jean and Emma duke it out, they figure out Cassandra Nova has been influencing Emma and now with the Phoenix, it's barely even Emma now. In the end, it's the same conflict of wanting to save the teammate, but needing to rid the world of the Phoenix, and Kitty is the one who ends it:

Tragedy!!
Thankfully that plain jane bitch, Kitty, was killed in the blast of the Phoenix that followed.

So in the end, the Emma Phoenix killed the Stepford Cuckoos, the Breakworld, Beast, Lockheed, and most thankfully, Kitty. In the end, Wolverine, Scott, and Phoenix, aka the X-Men who are most overused, are left alive for the time being until a big crossover death is needed or a radical writer ends his run. At least we get this last panel that makes this all feel like a horror movie:

Oh, Cassie, youuuuu. Kill away, dear, I hate those pricks' Cyclops and Logan anyway.

The other story about Danger and Ultron hooking up is lame and depressing because the death count is this: All the Runaways, all of Xavier's students, and all the X-Men. And yet another sad Emma death!:

Seriously lamesauce story. And the Say What? is a cheap, unfunny attempt at humor. My conclusion is that you should considering buying this issue for it's first story, but if you were never that wild about Emma Frost in Astonishing, then maybe not so much.