The List #46 Part 2

Avengers Academy #7
Writer: Christos Gage
Artist: Tom Raney, not Mike McKone as it is credited.
As evidenced by the cover, this issue is completely devoted to Hank Pym and his eternal angst over actions he committed 20 years ago (Right? I'm only a light Avengers fan, but seems to me all his 'bad' shit happened nowhere near recently, right?).

We begin this month's helping on a scandalous note when Tygra and child decide to pay Pymie a visit. Little did I know, it seems Tygra's child is the product of her and a skrull impersonating Hank Pym. But these facts get even more scandalous as we find out thattt --->

Tygra, stunned and shocked, reacts by asserting to Pym that the child is hers and hers alone. But then she also has to explain that her original reason for showing up is to ask that, if anything should happen to her, Hank would take him in. Yeah, it's awkward.

It gets more awkward when Tygra brings up Hank's long lost wife, the Wasp, and Hank reveals that he's put Janet's molecules together in this infinite mansion and now he plans on bringing her back from this. I don't really understand all of it, I tried my hardest to ignore the Mighty Avengers when it was under Pym, so here's Jocasta with a mini explanation:

She looks so.......glamorous.

The rest of the issue is about Hank taking on the Absorbing Man, predictably beating him, and having a personal revelation about the dangers of bringing Janet back. Done. Fin. Except not so much. Were this just to be a done-in-one issue where we deal with Hank's angst for it's yearly pitying and then just move on, I'd be fine, but no, apparently this will be the focus of an arc coming out in March. Joy. I know Pym fans are probably excited for this, but truth be told I've barely dealt with him and I'm exhausted from this character. Which is exactly the opposite of what I came to this book for considering I wanted something new and fresh, which it is when the students are running the book. Anyway, that's my two cents on the future of AA.

Also, it should be mentioned that McKone was unfortunately not on pencils this time around; it was Tom Raney who's so not my favorite artist. In fact, I find his entire range of emotions on characters to read as ridiculous and difficult to take serious. This issue is no different though he for most part does a decent job.

Conclusion: This issue's not without its good parts, but in the end, it's a bit dull due to its starring character's arc being tired and worn out already.

Uncanny X-Force #3
Writer: Rick Remender
Artist: Jerome Opena
Finally this issue we get a comprehensive explanation of who's who in Apocalypse's army. And luckily it's in the preview, so you can all check up on it [here]. Oh and the old lady who's teaching child Apocalypse how to be himself again? Apparently that's Ship! That little detail caught me by surprise especially considering I thought that Ship was a pleasant little transportation vessel controlled by an evil master. Oh well, I much prefer this evil old lady take; she can be my new Frau Totenkinder.

Concerning the other Apocalypse followers, I'll say this: War's pretty badass as long as he's silent, Famine's perfectly creepy as hell, Pestilence as an awesome powerful and it looks great visually but I'm not a fan of her inferiority complex, and lastly, Death is the only one that really disappoints as he looks like a cheesy Vanisher ripoff and has an everyvillain personality.

Moving back to the events of the issue, all of this info is collected by Psylocke while all of X-Force is badly beaten and laying at the feet of the villains....yeah she's a badass and her lessons in badass are proudly displayed throughout the issue. Eventually Wolverine manages to get up and drags Death off of the team so that they can have the same fight Wolverine always has: A battle completely in favor of the enemy but somehow Wolverine manages to survive it out of sheer "badass". Meanwhile, Archangel's in shit shape after Famine got him and Deadpool is the only one around to take of him. Amusingly enough, Deadpool pulls out his only food supply: Pop rocks and Coke, and drowns Warren in it. From there its Nurse Deadpool taking care of Warren which is a survivor story on its own.

The main mover of the plot this issue is concerning Psylocke and Fantomex attempting to get their shit together as they are the only members really around and able. Psylocke takes charge, ordering Fantomex to let her in his mind. Here's how that goes over:

You go, Miss Braddock.

Fantomex listens to Betsy and she immediately begins psychically working on the effects of Famine's drum. Except she's stopped by War slamming her in the face. Ouch. Anyway, Fantomex being left as the only useful member begins illusioning everywhere, taking care of Death and Pestilence while saving Wolverine. He also manages to convince War that he loves Betsy, causing him to bring her into Apocalypse's HQ, and giving her the opening to take him out. While this is great and all, I have to say that Fantomex's little illusions took care of a bit too many of the group's problems and I'm hoping this isn't one of those "fix-all" things throughout the series. Anyway, as the Ship is teleporting out of the moon, kid Apocalypse whose busy with his toys receives a visitor: Betsy coming in with a katana. End issue.

Perfect ending. Obviously it's mostly for the fact that it's Psylocke who's just doing a lot of "take charge" things, but this is so much better than my worries about her just being the useless token female of the group. Also, I was pleased to hear [this news] from Remender on a recent X-Position concerning returning Betsy to her British roots.

Conclusion: Despite my few minor issues, another great issue of Uncanny X-Force with strong writing, fantastic art that I'm still very in awe of, and what seems to be a very bright future for this series.

In other news, here are the results of the last poll concerning which lovely mutant should get repowered:

Unsurprisingly, it seems the biggest chunk of us want to see Jubilee repowered and presumably non-vampire again as it was sad for Marvel to piggyback on the decaying end of a pop culture trend, but to prolong it now is just purely pathetic. Plus I'm sure angsty vampire Jubilee is going to be the stuff of dreams for 2005's emo trend and its desperate hanger-ons, but it'll just likely annoy the hell out of everyone else. I'm thinking we all just want to see Jubes back to her sassy self because.....Baby. She's a firework.

In second place by one vote we have Rictor which also is not surprising as, while Rictor's definitely good for fulfilling fans' desperate need for some well-written homoness, I think we'd all like to see him back to being able to effectively handle himself in super situations.

Winder Dancer coming in third place, however, was surprising as I was not aware she had a much of a fan base, so, um, good on her fans and hopefully she'll pop back into the MU sometime. Anddd besides that, all I have to say is I'm surprised Callisto didn't get more votes and that's pretty much it. That's all for this week and be sure to go vote on the latest one!

The List #41

Avengers Academy #5
Writer: Christos Gage
Artist: Jorge Molina
Striker receives the spotlight this issue and let me just say he is so much more interesting than that f#@%ing Mettle. Also, it's important to note that the artist for this issue was fucking hilarious and just added that much more to the joy, laughter, and fun of this issue.

Basically, Striker's the arrogant famewhore of the team, and this issue we learn where this all stems from....as he tells it to Jocasta. Who's in sleep mode. But could wake up at any time and listen in on all his secrets that he's spilling to her. Yeah, that's important later...

Striker's past rotates around his mother, who's had her 15 minutes of fame after being the other woman in a political sex scandal, who attempts to take the defibrillators to what she's already lost by making her son a child actor. This leads her to choosing a creeper agent who manages to get Striker and his mother parts. And also tries to molest Striker which triggers his powers....yeah, what a disturbing way to discover superpowers. From there he eventually finds himself with Osborn and then the A.A.

Back in the details of his past week, Striker recounts how he hit on Finesse and Veil. <---And here's the face he uses to seduce the girls. Surprisingly, they managed to turn down that sexy expression. Also, he, like many men, fails to realize his own over-inflated ego is functioning as a complete cockblock. Later on during that week Hank Pym takes the whole group out to see Wicked for a thinly veiled lesson about good deeds done by evil people and all that crap. He manages to get everyone in by shrinking both Mettle and Hazmat so that they don't cause a stir and also neglects to tell the other students they were there as well until after the show. All of the students react with surprise, but Veil's definitely wins the prize for most obnoxious/hilarious reaction. Seriously, this is my favorite face of the issue-->

After this, Whirlwind shows up to battle Pym which leads to the students joining the fight, and finally leads to the public outing of the Avengers Academy to the media. The outing goes over better than expected, and Veil goes to tell Justice, her teacher crush, all about it and ends up walking in on this:

This moment was so uncomfortable for so many reasons. One of them being that this looks more like Justice is drinking from a coconut with a wig on it than making out with a girl.
And here's Veil's reaction:

Crying over her crooked eyes.

Later on, "over" her crush on Justice, she goes to Striker's room, kisses him, and asks if he wants to hook up. He says sure and then that leads to this face--->

No, I'm kidding, that's just the look on his face that he gets from calling his mom.....no legit, pick up the issue, it's true. Anyway, Striker turns into a sudden gentleman and follows his sure with a claim that he's too tired and insists on just talking. Which is great because I'd rather not have my adorkable Veil tarnished by Striker and his insecure ego.

Following this he goes to call his mom. It turns out that the outing of the A.A. was all a plan devised by him and his mother, and the evidence of his evil plotting is revealed by the shadow mustache he gets while discussing this. Seriously, facial hair=how you know if someone's evil or not. Oh and also, keep in mind all this goes before Jocasta's seemingly vacant eyes. So yeah, Striker's finally got his famewhore wishes fulfilled by manipulation and luckily it makes for a good issue. I still think he's a carbon copy of New X-Men's Hellion though.

Uncanny X-Force #1
Writer: Rick Remender
Artist: Jerome Opena
So Uncanny X-Force has finally released and it's quite possibly the most 'badass' book with the most 'badass' team in the entire Marvel universe. And that's exactly why I feel ambivalently towards it.

Deadpool's the same as always in this book: Chattering away like a coke addict, grasping desperately for a joke that's actually funny. And then there's Fantomex who's playing the whole, "I'm quirky, lucid insane!" angle and also grasping desperately for jokes that are actually funny. And these two are a badass pair and Wolverine makes it EXTRA badass and the really dark Archangel makes this unbelievably DARKLY BADASS. I'd make a joke on this Testosterfest except Deadpool and Fantomex have basically fished that lake dry with their constant attempts at humor.

Concerning the only team member I really give a damn about, Psylocke, she's so far confirmed my fears about her role. Basically my concern was that with her being the token female of the group that her story would mostly be about serving the other men's stories as well as being the token female being fought over. Which really just, y'know, empowers her. So far I'm right on both counts, Fantomex has already expressed interest in her even though she's back with Warren. And concerning her resurrected relationship, it seems that she's using her psychic powers to help Warren deal with his Death persona. I mean, yes, as he was previously consistently on a team book he's already got a storyline that's in progress while Betsy's is sort of muddled with great writers taking stabs at it but never really keeping her long enough to really get something going with her. Still, I hope this sort of thing is simply for the opening issues and doesn't continue on from there.

Moving on, the art of this book is absolutely amazing and big draw for the book. I imagine those of you who've seen the preview know this already and I will just continue to say it's consistently amazing throughout the issue.

Anyway, I'm not going to run through the play-by-play of the issue because it's a lengthy first issue, but basically it has to do with X-Force trying to thwart the resurrection of Apocalypse and battling his horsemen and not really getting him and all that and oh yeah, now he's a kid. Yeah, strange. Also, his Horsemen look so much better this time around:

Conclusion: The art and events of this book so far are top-notch and worthy of the hype while the male team members leave something to be desired (but keep in mind I always think of them that way). And Betsy's role right now is iffy. But anyway, in the end I say pick up this book because it's looking to be joining X-Men Legacy in being one of the better X-Books.

The List #16

Uncanny X-Men #518
Writer: Matt Fraction
Artist: Terry Dodson
Ugh, so Dodson's back this issue. Please welcome back cheesy, anime-ish "cuteness" that just dilutes any comic book that isn't centered around teenage superheroes. Very little happens this issue, Magneto's all weak now and he's told he needs to save the ugly island. And Beast, he has such doubts, Sister James (I just watched the last scene of Doubt on Youtube, heh). Anyway, Beast's whining really and it gets tired. Most of the issue focuses on getting the Void out of Emma and it is the slowest plot I have ever seen.

Here's the scene: Scott goes into Emma's head, y'know, rather than Xavier because true love is better than high levels of experience with psychics. See the anime bullshit in here? Anyway, Scott sees Emma in her blank head (nothing but white background, wtf) and then there's other Emma's who start attacking him. And he figures out that they're not Emma except he figures this out like three fucking times. Anyway, it's the fucking Void since we all know it's fucking there in her head and they should, y'know, be prepared to encounter it?

On the other end, Xavier and Psylocke watch over the deal. Psylocke is basically there just to stand around and maybe kill someone if there's trouble. Ah, cameo queening. You may have wondered why I insist that Psylocke is a cameo queen considering she appears more often than the others. This is because no matter how B-going-on-A List she may be, Fraction always uses her like she's a D-Lister. Also, look at the world's most obvious statement from Xavier:

Ya think?

The issue ends with Scott basically saying something to the effect of that Emma's head always looks blank and his is always a hotel functioning as a cat house. That is fucking sad that Fraction is so dense. What should be said is that the landscape of their heads took on what was needed at the time; similar to what they did in the animated television show they had in the 90's. The kids version? Yes, I am saying children's television is smarter than Fraction. The conclusion is that apparently the Void wanted Scott and not Emma. Worst idea EVER. Seriously, powerful (but not omega) telepath or eyebeams? And what is the Void going to do? If it transferred behind everyone's back then it'd be different. Instead it was in front of three telepaths who can send a psychic shout to warn everyone about the problem. Oh whatever, at least the diamond Emma thing is over even though no one should've been able to enter Emma's head when she's in her diamond form. Conclusion: I'm so fucking glad my subscription to this comic just ended. I may very well start skipping issues.

X-Force Annual #1
Writer: Chris Yost and Craig Kyle
Artist: Carlo Barberi
First story is Logan being "badass" with a "heart-touching" plot. So lame. Second one is about Deadpool and is surprisingly good. Now let me explain that I don't generally like Deadpool. He's way too overhyped for the reason of his "explosive action" and "hilarious comedy" that is special since he breaks the fourth wall. Except he does way that too fucking often since writers do not seem to understand funny and just write a bunch of irritating cute-isms that fall flat just like they do with any Runaway's writer after Vaughan writing Molly Hayes. So there's few things about Deadpool that I've ever found funny. But this issue presents an image of Deadpool that I think actually deserves all the hype.

Rather than post all the good snippets, some poster on Scans_Daily did my work for me. So (click here) and I'm just going to make a few comments. First, I love Loa. Not for her personality since she doesn't have one, but for her powers since they're absolutely fun. She could either be one of the X-Men's biggest guns or their glorified paper shredder. And I love both ideas. Also, I love that at least Deadpool remembers continuity which includes the killing of Jean by Magneto since no one buys that Xorn/Sublime retcon. Anddd that last page/panel is the best. And on a final note:

I love this because when it was the animated series I always wondered how effective Wolverine could be with those fracking claws and Xavier's rule of not killing.

Psylocke #2
Writer: Chris Yost
Artist: Harvey Tolibao
This issue is basically a disappointment. I expected it to be a bit of a letdown next to last issue, but this is a bit much. I also tend to side with The Buy Pile's thoughts on this.

Oh by the way, what the fuck is with the sexual posing of the cover? Can we stop with the backside facing the viewer? And that waist is unreal in the most horrible way.

This issue focuses around three things: Wolverine doing his bullshit and getting more overexposure, Psylocke reflecting on her old life and fighting people, and this dumbassed mutant who blows shit up all the time without asking who's responsible for the "cliffhanger" this issue when he sees Betsy and just blows up even though they're on the same side. Ridiculous. Oh and there's a Yukio fight.

Here's something fun though:

Yes, that is a full panel dedicated to her flowing hair.
No cropping, that's the whole panel and I love it.
Almost as much as I love:

Her poised sashes. They're totally snake-like, I wonder if they can just bite people and suck the fabulous out of them for sustenance. Anyway, the conclusion is you should probably buy this issue if you got the first one, but it's definitely not going to be as exciting as last issue.