The List #34

New Mutants #15
Writer: Zeb Wells
Artist: Leonard Kirk
Sorry about the delay, things have been insane lately so the news and last week's X-Factor will get added o
not this week's post because I think there's like one new thing coming out for my pull list. Anyway, let the reviewing begin.

In my mind this issue is titled "The Drunk Issue" considering that's what most of it centers around. What happens is Cannonball approaches Cyclops and whines that he "broke the team" and no longer deserves to be leader. Cyclops, not to be outdone in the angst dept., tells Sam that he doesn't have time for this angsty shit when he could be devoting time to his own, and orders Sam to take the team out for some R+R.

So they do and Sam decides to make it extra special because they R+R:

Of course you bring beer, Sam.
Gross. I think me and Illyana are going to go sneak out to the local Hannaford for some vodka.

So the team drinks and they slowly start going over what happened during SC. Then they start swapping funny stories with Dani recounting what happened during the battle with Hodgo. Don't think it was that funny of an issue? Me neither. Seriously, not to say that you don't obnoxiously point to the elephant in the room when drunk, but if you're going to tell funny stories at least tell stories that are actually funny. Like Wells, you couldn't make something up?

Another point I don't believe is that this is the second time where Karma and Hellion have been portrayed as indifferent to their losing their body parts. I mean I don't want them angsting up the panels until the series ends, but seriously, at least have a couple issues with them dealing with their feelings over it. I'm not sold on them being ok with it, but I suppose minor characters are expected to dela with whatever blows their given and get over it. Something this issue I was totally sold on was this:

Ohhhh drunken makeout sessions. Brings back memories of last semester. Anyway, that much was convincing although I wish Wells had gone further to the one-night stand that would've resulted had they not been interrupted. Not because I'm a Dani/Sam shipper, but because I'm always in for awkward drunk one-night stands as long as they're not my own. Anyway, you'll notice we don't see much of Warlock this issue because....

He can't hold his beer.

Nah, apparently he's purging because he's got eater's remorse. We're planning on a very special True Life for him very soon actually. Actually he's bummed out over taking human life and releasing the energy he gained from eating the people. Most of the issue he's not seen because he's out moping over it.

The rest of the issue has to do with the ongoing Magik/Pixie tensions. They only get worse as the demon-y army guys from issue #9 appear this issue and are out for Illyana's blood since they spent 20 years in Limbo and half of them are part-demon now because of having to try and survive there. In their search for Illyana they end up finding Pixie and beating her ass for her soul dagger. And this makes for yet another reason to add to Pixie's list of why Illyana Rasputin is a bitch.

And besides Illyana being alerted to the danger nearby by having her soulsword come out of her and also cockblock Sam and Dani, that's the issue. Conclusion: Despite it's glaring flaws, this issue was pretty decent and I'm just thrilled to see New Mutants finally out of crossover hell.

New Avengers #2
Writer: Brian Michael Bendis
Artist: Stuart Immomen
This issue is basically a game of "Who's got the Eye of Agamotto?" with everyone trying to keep it away from the possessed Luke Cage. Except the demon possessing Luke Cage is willing to play dirty to get the Eye:

Ohhhh gurl. Evil means business when it resorts to pulling on your hair.

This issue Jessica Jones dropped her typical mother role....to pick up the typical wife role. There were a couple moments where she was cool, but for the most part she was portrayed as the idiot wife who doesn't understand what possession means.

In the end, everyone's un-possessed while Iron Fist ,who's got the Eye, is possessed, and the Sorcerer guys including Dr. Voodoo reunite to say the world is fucked. Conclusion: This issue was ok, nothing was really bad about it but there was also nothing particularly great about it either.

Thunderbolts #146
Writer: Jeff Parker
Artist: Kev Walker
So last week we ended with the introduction of this new girl named Troll with me already rolling my eyes in annoyance to yet another "child-raised-in-the-wild!" story because I hate those stories. Seriously, when Claremont tried going that route with X-23 with the fangs and the growling I was like, "Diva you did not!" Luckily this issue they just knock her out and throw her story on the backburner which is whatev. Also, Songbird had like two panels this issue, so that was a plus.

The main mission this issue is the team going to find out what happened to the SHIELD team sent to investigate and verify if there were a new vein of terrigen crystals in some cave. Results: The SHIELD team's dead and there's definitely terrigen crystals in the cave. So much so that it reminds me of Aladdin with the room that was filled with gold in the Cave of Wonders. Also, there's a ton of misshapen creatures lurking about trying to kill the team.

In other news, this whole fake "reformed Moonstone" act has gone from decent to stinks like shit.

Seriously, Parker, how dumb do you think she is?

WTF, I'm pretty sure Ellis built her up differently and he's the reason I and I'm sure a lot of people started paying attention to this series. Basically, he had her be sex-positive, manipulative, and had her be a rough girl masquerading as classy even though we knew better. From there Bendis' Dark Reign had her be sleep with everyone and had her called a slut for it, kind of trashy, and still manipulative but all the other team members were too so her game plan just got lost in all that (especially with fucking Daken since we're all supposed to believe he matters or something). Parker so far as made her all-out trashy, no sleeping around but she's hinted to it, but his worst sin is he thinks that she's stupid. This is probably because people automatically assume women who are unashamed of their sexuality are "sluts" and must be stupid to not be ashamed. ...She has an MD in Psych, how stupid can she be when it comes to manipulation? Especially when she's been doing it for quite awhile. Anyway, I don't buy Moonstone would try to shove her "reformed" crap in everyone's faces like that because she's a manipulator; she knows that doesn't work like that.

Back to the story, the rest of the issue consists of another extended fight scene which is, once again, a good thing because I'm all in for a good team battle. Especially since it seems half the X-Books fail to understand what a decent team fight scene looks like. The issue ends with Man-Thing, Crossbones, and Mach-IV or V or VIIX as the only Thunderbolts left standing against the creatures. Conclusion: This issue would be between good and ok which seems to be a "thing" for Parker as I remember feeling the same about most of his Exiles run.

X-Men Legacy #235 Review

Writer: Mike Carey
Art: Greg Land
In. TENSE. That's how I would summarize this last chapter of Second Coming. I seriously haven't been this excited about reviewing an issue since Dark Avengers/Uncanny X-Men: Utopia one-shot. But be warned, there is also a tragedy that occurs this issue.

We return to the New Mutants vs. Hodgo battle to find things not looking good for Karma. And what I mean by that is (SPOILERS OF INTENSITY FROM HERE UNTIL THE END) as evidenced by one of the pages in the preview (here) as well as the latest solicitation for New Mutants (here) it appears that Karma has lost her leg. Now we all know that it's Karma's that put the Leg in Legacy. Maybe she can accessorize her prosthetic leg with a headband?

Back at Utopia, it turns out Rogue has a connection with Hope that Emma cannot sense, so Cyclops sends Rogue out to look for her. By using the most glamorous means of transportation of course: ARIEL! Yes, my favorite diva in the world comes in and you can find her charming chattering in the preview.

Back with the NM, Cypher comes up with the solution of repowering Warlock and turning the tides of the fight by letting Warlock loose on their life energy. His reaction is basically, "NO!!! This is appalling!!!.....All right!" because he seems completely down for it in the next pages where he attacks the smileys. Also, point of note is what looks like a completely ripped off Warlock in his full one-page spotlight. A gold star to whoever finds out where Land got it from.

Concerning Rogue and Nightcrawler, it seems Rogue's functioning as a compass to find Hope and Nightcrawler is exhausting himself as he's had to teleport over 800 miles to get her there. And back at Dystopia, the expected happens:

YES! It's time for mandatory psychic attack time! Because nothing says "This shit's seriousssss!" like an attack on all the psychics. Because it wasn't enough to have this happen in Messiah Complex, Sisterhood, Dangerous, and many more. Luckily, this time it seems none of the psychics were actually knocked out so much as they were hurt by psychic feedback as Bastion had disabled their Cerebro machines. Yet another overdone move to make an arc seem serious. It's also revealed that Bastion can sense who's around the teams and it has to do with Bastion using the T/O virus and tapping into Cable's. More on that in a bit because we have something MAJOR to go over.

Returning the Alpha team, the group is split up in two vehicles with Archangel flying outside. We've got Ariel, X-23, and Wolverine in one vehicle and the rest in the other. And the worst thing EVER happens. A jet flies by and sends out missiles!

Andddd hits the car with Ariel in it. Yeah. My heart snapped in two at that point. And if there's any question within the issue if she got out, we've got commentary on that from both Emma and Wolverine.

BUT, there have been rumblings on the boards about the possibility that Ariel got out in time considering she is a teleporter and it's not like she was far from a door. Also, apparently somewhere on the CBR boards, someone said it could be like when Lady M "died" in Messiah Complex and I guess Carey's agreeing with that take or sounding like it. So here's hoping. For those of you hoping to relive the good times with our glamorous cameo queen, you can find her updated cameo queen page here.

In any case, I'm heartbroken because Ariel was the tranny that brought light to my life. There is no Legacy without Ariel much like there's no strawberry shortcake without strawberries. Plus, we still need to have our A Very Special X-Men Legacy where Ariel admits she used to have a D.

Anyway, Archangel takes care of the jet and there's the very dramatic moment of the other team looking over the place where the missile hit the vehicle, waiting for someone to come out. Adding the most to the serious mood of the moment is:

Psylocke's ass of untold power!

Yes, the real star of Uncanny has made a reappearance. You know the shit's going down when Psylocke's ass makes an appearance. I actually suspect it's omega-level. To find out more on the power of Betsy's awe-inspiring buns you can click on the newly created tag "Psylocke's ass".

X-23 and Wolverine finally come out of the wreckage looking absolutely terrifying, you can see Logan's creepiness above in the panel I just put up. Back at base Emma informs Scott of Ariel's (possible) passing and he takes a second to mourn in manly silence. And then Pixie volunteers to be replacement teleporter. He denies her, saying that he'd be sending her to her death if he let her go........Yeah? So? I fail to see the problem there.

Concerning the New Mutants, they end up winning overwhelmingly with Warlock going on a life-sucking spree. In the end, he takes out Hodgo. Which is a tragedy because he was SUCH a unique villain. Oh the rough days we have ahead ourselves with the absence of.....that guy.

Back with Alpha team, the revelation about Cable being tracked is revealed, and so he goes with Alpha team while Hope goes with Rogue and Nightcrawler. Only it isn't just any Rogue:

It's gorgeous Rogue! Who's got the fabulous hair mutation she siphoned?

So yes, she's got a sampling of all of Alpha teams powers, even X-23's foot claws. And I have to say I hope to hell she uses them all next week. Anddddd unfortunately, that's the end of the issue.

Conclusion: BUY this issue. It's both exciting and tragic. And it makes me extremely excited for next week, which of course will have the big reveal of who dies!

The List #27

New Mutants #12
Writer: Sean McKeever
Artist: Ibraim Roberson
To start off, a little out of order, but this issue we see Alpha team lose the use of both of their teleporters. Magik ends up being sent to Limbo or something close to that and Kurt ends up being slammed by some whammy thing that makes him severely disoriented. And of course, this is all thanks to the ever-annoying Stryker.

Cable and Hope end up going on the run again, which never gets old, and Wolverine orders Archangel to take care of Stryker. So he does by slicing him in half and Kurt is all, "NOOOOO!!!!" And Betsy's surprised as well, but she used to date the guy so her reaction should likely have been the more dramatic one. Also, it turns out the Alpha team needs a new long distance teleporter so they send in my favorite diva: Ariel! She ends up making a glamourous one-panel appearance. And back at the base, Rogue ends up speaking what Hope is think, so clearly there's going to be something developed on the bond the two share from Hope having rid Rogue of her death touch.

Concerning the New Mutants, their is to take care of Cameron Hodge and his army of smiling faces. Here we finally see Karma used in a respectable way, where she's used to possess some of the smiley guys and have them take care of a decent amount before the NM get directly involved. Oh and also, she gets Dani a set of Smiley armor so she can actually be useful in the battle. Which got me thinking:

How are the New Mutants a useful battle team?

In this case, Cypher and Warlock are on the sidelines, not that they'd be much use anyway, and then there's depowered Dani who's only got her mad fighting skills. Then there's Sunspot and Cannonball who are basically just strong and invulnerable. And Karma, who can possess people, but that's a limited sort of psychic power. The only real threat in this group is Magma, who has to have useful powers because she sure as hell can't fall back on a personality.

In response to the attack, Cameron Hodge turns himself intoooo.....Mojo! Not my first thought when people are attacking me, but I suppose it works in some twisted way. Not sure if this is something he does often, but definitely a bit of a disturbing transformation. From there, a massive battle ensues and Hodgo (Hodge+Mojo) ends up singling out Karma. Then stabs her in the fricking THIGH! Ouch! And then we get the OH NOES! ToBeContinued.

Overall, this issue was pretty mundane. That's really all there is to say on it. BUT do go check out the preview for next week's issue (Here!) because it looks like that issue is going to be epic! Campy Greg Land!? Karma with her leg looking cut off?! ARIEL GETTING A LARGER ROLE?!?! Definitely be on the lookout for that one this coming Wednesday.

Siege: Young Avengers #1
Writer: Sean McKeever
Artist: Mahmud A. Asrar
I read somewhere on CBR someone saying that this one-shot proved that someone can handle these characters just as well as Heinberg and that it's not necessary to wait for his return to the series. Except if you REALLY read the previous series you know that's a load of bullshit. The original series was some of the most talented work in the superhero genre I've ever read. This one-shot was nowhere near that and the handling of the characters was poor. Young Avengers, like Runaways, should only be handled by its original creators and the characters should just be tossed into Limbo when they're not there. I mean concerning the Dark Reign mini series, I think it's pretty clear that sometimes it's better to leave the poor character alone because if anything, that horrible series probably hurt readership.

This one-shot is broken up into three stories: Teddy and Billy's, Tommy's, and Eli and Kate's. Tommy's is this: He's running around to help the wounded in Asguard and can't work fast enough and feels bad enough. That's it. And no hint of his previously established personality.

Billy and Teddy's story is basically Tommy elaborates that he chose the title Asguardian for a reason, he feels very defensive of the area because it means something to him, and him and Teddy put the smackdown on the Wrecking Crew for trying to loot. It turns out that Billy's dad used to tell him stories about Norse Mythology when he was younger and one time he was a brat to his dad for it and he never told them again. Yeah, it's as dull as it sounds. It's not like his dad is dead or anything. At the very least we get to see them refer to each other as boyfriends as well as hug. No kisses of course, but I think it's an unsaid rule that Teddy and Billy's first kiss is reserved for Heinberg when he returns to the series. Which I completely agree with.

And in terms of Eli and Kate's story, the worst mistake was made here. Something I've believed since it was first hinted at, was that Kate's amazing, fearless character was going to brought down by her pairing off with Eli. Eli who I believe to be the team's weakest link, even worse than Cassie. And Cassie can be pretty frigging irritating. The story is Kate and Eli are trapped underneath some rubble and are trying to get out. And Kate is poorly characterized as a bitch who's just an aggressive bitch for no reason:

After Eli expresses confusion about how to get out. Like how undeserved is that?

Seriously, Kate's terrible characterization is the worst part of this one-shot. She's worse than any teenagers that's just hit puberty. Anyway, Eli and her end up kissing at one point which is as awkward and bland as it sounds. And she's pissed about that too. Eventually, they make it out and the team reunites and she ends up being the queen of mixed signals by commenting on the kiss positively. And that's the show.

Overall, this one-shot is completely forgettable and should've never happened really. So here's the good news. Which is so good I jumped for joy as soon as I heard it and it makes me so excited I could pee. The original creative team, Heinberg and Cheung, are RETURNING TO THE YOUNG AVENGERS. It's a bi-monthly 9-issue series starting this summer told largely from Wiccan's point of view and apparently about going to get the Scarlet Witch which means the STORY MANY HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR. And you can definitely look forward to my covering of every second of this series.

Tracking the Cameo Queens: Karma; Real Name: Xi'an Coy Manh

Welcome to the beginning of my new series of posts: Tracking the Cameo Queens. As you may know, since Matt Fraction's introduction at Uncanny x-Men #500 we've seen some old faces return. But as you may also know, they only appear briefly and generally do very little besides stir a little excitement for the fan bases of these characters.
This series is dedicated to keeping track of the appearances of the cameo queens. The criteria for a cameo queen appearance is for it to be an appearance that happens after Uncanny X-Men #500, both in release dates and in-universe meaning no First Class appearances or any sort of flashbacks as well as it has to be in the 616 universe. It also has to be a genuine appearance, so it can't be something like Illyana looking at a picture of the New Mutants and Karma just happens to be there.
The criteria for what is a cameo queen is basically the character has appearances in Fraction's Uncanny X-Men with limited panel time and it helps if the character is LGBT friendly. So far I plan to do a cameo queen following of Karma, Dazzler, Northstar, Psylocke, and most likely the Stepford Cuckoos. You the reader are more than welcome to correct me when I miss an appearance or you can suggest a character you feel is a cameo queen. These posts will be updated when a cameo queen makes a new appearance. Also, if anyone knows a code to get the text to wraparound an image on the right side for blogspot please feel free to share.

Anyway, our first cameo queen is Karma, aka Xi'an Coy Manh, who also doubles as queen of the headbands (which is her tag in this blog):

Uncanny X-Men #501
# of panels: 4
# of lines: Singing a song off her music player, so not counting it.
# of times using her powers: power signature at end of the issue.
Craption: Psionic mind-posession. Likes girls.
In this issue, Karma only appears at the end as a woman walking on the street who’s singing along with her music when she’s all of a sudden attacked but revealed to have been the bait to lure out the Hellfire cult.

Uncanny X-Men #502
# of panels: 5
# of lines: 7
# of time using her powers: Twice, but the first time is unsuccessful.
Craption: Psionic mind possession. Living bait.
This issue Karma is seen on the first page with her own panel as part of the active roster and also shown only on the first page of the opening battle scene. She discovers her powers can’t work on the Hellfire Cult so she simply leaves. Later on she’s called in to perform some sort of interrogation using some acupuncture thing. Which is useless, Emma could’ve just snatched the information out of the guy’s head. She’s seen exiting looking absolutely Land-ified with huge boobs, perfect face with long hair.

Uncanny X-Men #503
# of panels: 5
# of lines: 5
# of time using her powers: 0
Craption: Mind Posessor. Recreational Beer Enthusiast.
Karma this time only appears in the opening bar scene with Dani Moonstar and Cannonball. All she says is she likes beer and she agrees that a normal life sounds nice. Shown to be again, Land-ified.

Uncanny X-Men #504
# of panels: 4
# of lines: 9
# of time using her powers: 0
Craption: None.
Karma this time only appears on the last page of this issue to alert Scott and Emma to the release of the footage from Cooperstown, Alaska; the site of Hope Summers being born which caused a massive fight. She also asks what Emma and Scott are doing and when Emma replies that they were talking Karma stupidly mentions that their lips weren’t moving. This is from a psychic power. To a woman with psychic powers. WTF Fraction? Also, the way she’s drawn/acts seems to be more appropriate for Jubilee than her.

Uncanny X-Men #508
# of panels: 1
# of lines: Does NNNNNGGGGGGGKKKKKK-- count as a line?
# of time using her powers: 0
Craption: Psychic posession. Wasn’t crazy for the wrap-up of Battlestar.
This appearance was only one panel during the psychic attack, but had a lot more interesting things than any of her previous Uncanny appearances. First, we see her de-Landed which is made complete with her headband and full pajames. Then she’s shown in bed with another woman who’s naked. Probably the most risqué scene I’ve seen with lesbians in comic books, I have to give props to Fraction for that.

Uncanny X-Men #511
# of panels: 2
# of lines: 0
# of time using her powers: 0
Craption: Psychic posession. Underestimated and ignored a lot.
Karma this time appears briefly for two panels, one of them being Land-ified so that she’s duplicating Emma’s stance. She’s not even shown at the end of the battle with the rest of her team. Her craption is funny considering this was one of her least valuable appearances and most of her Uncanny appearances lack substance like no other.

Uncanny X-Men #514
# of panels: 4
# of lines: 0
# of times she uses her powers: 0
Craption: None

This is an appearance that I find questionable. Nowhere in the issue does it say that this Asian woman is Karma. And Dodson's women basically look the same. BUT what we can do is say, who's a part of Fraction's cast that is Asian and a woman: Betsy, Hisako and Karma. Betsy's been shown already, so we're down to two. Hisako's hair is generally longer AND this woman is being shown with two other cameo queens. So I assume this to be Karma with this being her most obscure appearance ever.

X-men: Manifest Destiny #1
# of panels: 41-ish
# of lines: Her third of the issue is almost all her, I’m not counting that one.
# of time using her powers: 5, the first time is for an extended period and the third and fourth are in a flashback.
Likely Karma’s most quality appearance during her time as a cameo queen. She basically gets a third of the issue and it’s generally Emma showing her that her control over her power is slipping. Then it’s a flashback and regret over Kitty’s death. Her little siblings tick her off, she lashes out and then she apologizes. That’s the REALLY short summary of it. Also, suppose it’s required of me to note that Karma looks extra frumpalicious this appearance.

X-Men Worlds Apart #4
# of panels: 7
# of lines: 7
# of time using her powers: 0
Karma’s appearance here is basically to show that she’s absolutely terrified of being taken over by Shadow King. Then Ororo fights a Shadow King-influenced team, noting that she takes out the telepath, Karma, first.

X-Infernus #2
# of panels: 5
# of lines: 3
# of time using her powers: 0
Karma’s appearance is limited to being surprised to see Illyana, helping the knocked down Kurt up, and serving as background filler in a meeting.

X-Infernus #4
# of panels: 3
# of lines: 1
# of time using her powers: 0
Karma is part of the team in the Danger Room that encounter the returning team at the end of the issue.

New Mutants #1
# of panels: 10
# of lines: 8
# of time using her powers: Essentially using her powers for the duration of her opening appearance.
This issue makes Karma’s first cover appearance since cameo queendom, in group shot. However, she’s not included in the non-wraparound group cover. Karma’s only speaking appearance is at the beginning of the issue where she wanders around the mindscape of Legion and essentially tries to talk to Marci. She’s later shown to be found unconscious.

New Mutants #2
# of panels: 28
# of lines: Too many to count, plus she’s sometimes shown talking through Legion.
# of time using her powers: Hard to say. She’s trapped on a psychic field in this appearance, but she does unconsciously attack Roberto once.
This appearance is definitely a quality one, she’s shown running through Legion’s mindscape with Marci away from Legion‘s other personalities. She gets possession of the doll which enables her to talk through Legion to her teammates and then she ends up getting conquered by the other personalities after trying to hide from them and also fighting them.

New Mutants #3
# of panels: 4
# of lines: 0
# of time using her powers: 0
This issue, Karma’s unconscious body is only shown.
That and her predicament is discussed.

New Mutants #4-Present
Considering Karma is a part of the main cast for this book, I'm going to stop updating on her New Mutants appearances since it's way too time-consuming. All other appearances will be noted though.

Dark Avengers/Uncanny X-Men: Utopia one-shot
# of panels: 5
# of lines: 4
# of time using her powers: 1
Craption: None.
Shown at protest concerning Prop X which erupts into a battle that is halted by Moonstone. That’s it.

Dark Avengers #8
# of panels: 1
# of lines: 0
# of times she uses her powers: 0
Brief appearance with all the other X-Peeps in the church.

Dark Avengers/Uncanny X-Men: Utopia #1 Review

Writer: Matt Fraction

Artist: Marc Silvestri

Before I begin, I need to say where the fuck was Psylocke in this? She's on the cover, but not inside and that ticks me off because she was supposed to be present while being British and disapproving.

This one-shot begins with Trask and his boring inner monologue. Be prepared, writing done from boring viewpoints happens a lot in this issue. One thing I like about Silvestri's portrayal of Trask is:

He totally gave him a hick/70s porn star 'stache. I can totally go along with not liking him even more now.

Now this entire thing is very gay-tilted. It's about Prop X, which prevents mutants from reproducing even though originally mutants came from non-mutant parents. Plus we've got conservative hicks vs. "freaks". Sounding pretty gay metaphor-y? Yeah, except I find the gay comparison relied on way too much in this issue.

Anyway, the rednecks are heading to city hall when the mutants show and let me just say:

Fraction is totally pushing for the gay theme by putting Anole, Graymalkin, and Northstar as the front of the mutant team. Plus once-rumored-to-be-gay Beast. And the gay icon for readers who've not seen the light of Frost, Dazzler.
Side note: Jean Paul looks like a sex machine.

Then a riot between normals and freaks erupts and something of note is Hellion's choice of dress:

Quentin Quire, anyone?

Plus to make it more obv, we've got Glob Herman, QQ's BFF in the background. And by the way, you readers that bitch about Hellion's "emo" hair really need your eyes checked. Search emo hair. Long black hair in center part is unlikely to show up often. Seriously. STFU, I've had what's considered emo hair and I know what it is very well. That's not it. Stop getting up in arms over a male character being portrayed with some personal flair, not every guy character has to have your boring lack of personal style.

Post-riot, boring radio blurps about who's at fault. The X-Men stay at home. Then a meeting with the Mayor occurs in truly mundane fashion. I'll tell you what isn't mundane:

Emma's outfit. GIRRRLLL, show them assets off!

Attention shifts to Storm and T'Challa, FF4, and Avengers receiving the news. GOOD NEWS EVERYONE: Logan's only appearance is his hand snikting as he hears the news. Used as he should be used, much like fats should be eaten, sparingly.

Next the X-Peeps are split into teams and sent to guard certain positions. Cyke encounters Toad and verbally pwns him. Then he pwns him physically in a fabulous panel done by Silvestri.

Good one, Mr. Silvestri.

We turn to Osbourne and his Dark Avengers who are discussing the events occurring. And one of them dares insults Osbourne's hair! *Gasptastic!* (Heh, corn rows, I totally loled at that) And then, Daken says something that makes me wonder if his bisexual happening in Wolvie Origins was maybe not a one-time only.

Daken, you are truly the undiscovered Marvel Diva.

Back at the riots, things are getting tense as the X-universes lesbians, both good and evil, begin arguing.

It's really getting hot in here. But there will be no sexing, Karma's got her atrocious headband to guarantee that.

But it's all interrupted as Nekra gets slammed by the BJ-face inducing appearance of Ms. Moonstone and what she says is truly gasp-worthy:

I know girls, this really is quite upsetting. After all my criticism of personality-flat Emma, I didn't realize Moonstone had stolen it. My apologies to Fraction, I didn't know.

Back on the other side of the riot, Colossus apparently beat up Rockslide. Holy child abuse, Batman, how many senior X-men are going to kick the shit out of him before social services is called?

Then more Dark Avengers crap, Bullseye shows how boringly psychotic he can be while Ares makes a truly grand appearance that I actually found fun:

Until he threatened the gays.
Dressed like a total leather-bound bear.
I love how gay this issue is!

Then Emma finally has a scene and the first panel of her looks like she's experienced the facelift from hell. Luckily, Silvestri picks his shit back up and draws her flawlessly again. All the while Emma and Osbourne have a totally confusing as shit conversation, not for it's "mystery", but it's dialogue seems awkward.

The issue wraps with Cyclops being arrested with the Cuckoos, but running off. With the girls doing nothing. Something Fraction does not seem to understand is A. Before their diamond hearts, the Cuckoos were still quite creepy and not at all valley girl-ish. B. They were pretty detached from the institute and it's code of morals. C. Lastly, they didn't let anyone push them around:

Got it?

Overall, the issue's art made me want to jizz continuously, Silvestri is amazing. Except sometimes his girls get too much treatment in the lips, tits, and ass dept. Also, when they "gasp" they look like blowup dolls. Fraction, on the other, did not do well. Telling the story through generally boring points of view, too much buildup with little delivery and barely any real action yet. I know this story is exposition for an event, but it also needs it's own climax yet it turned out to be all exposition. He also seemed to rely on the gay metaphor too much for me to think it clever.

Uncanny X-Men #508

Writer: Matt Fraction
Artist: Greg Land
In this case, I will breakdown my complaints and compliments in the order they were presented in the comic.

First, what the hell was with that pointless Aiko story along with Domino's boring view of their world? Wasting space much? Personally, for her appearance I felt Domino had too much talk time with very few interesting things to say and minimal use of personality. Claremont-esque, no?

Then the next page when Logan hears Kwannon's body was stolen and he shouts and pops his claws. Oh you manly man, you. I am so sick of angry man syndrome at this point, I just wish for Logan's death.

Beast's science club meets again with one page dedicated to pointless talking and then Dr. Kavita Rao's reappearance, a character I have to say I am not thrilled to see is still alive. Then for the next page we hear for the umpteenth time that the Scarlet Witch has decimated the population. Really? You don't say! Then we hear about the baby AGAIN and Beast's barely useful findings in Endangered Species AGAIN. How many pages have we wasted so far?

Return to the Sisterhood where the Lady Masterminds are squabbling like children and wasting more panel time. Then finally something cool is going on, we have Betsy and Betsy's ex-body in the same room again.

Then another church scene between Emma and Kurt where Emma comes off as shallow and boring and Kurt is his annoying religious self. This little gem also comes from crappy porn artist, Greg Land. Wow, if she wasn't already being written badly, I'd be really pissed at how she's portrayed to be just any rich bitch.

Luckily, things pick up as Emma is asked to educate the Russian refugees on all sorts of things and she agrees which means she starts NOW. Her moment of nervous uncertainty is cute to see and then her nerves as she tries to settle herself into her new role. But as she begins, oh no wait for it, THERE'S ANOTHER ATTACK ON ALL PSYCHICS!!! We haven't seen this happen like 30 times in the past five years!! Bonus, cheesy titles to intro the psychics being attacked!! (Fraction, quit the hipster shit and just say who they are) One AMAZING thing that comes of this though is Karma is seen to be in BED with another woman. I'd be through the roof happy on this one if Land wasn't the artist drawing it. Also, she seems to be back to homely looking rather than the typical Land way of making girls get randomly long hair and super "hot" youthful looks.

Next part, I must gush about (and this is Fraction's writing so this is a first). Northstar!!! Now, not only is Northstar a cocky French bastard like me, but he's not afraid to say the GAY word and talk about his BEING GAY without overdoing it. Question though: Is Jean Paul Quebecois or not? I remember Austen wrote him saying he wasn't, but Austen is the Greg Land of writing so obviously I don't think that statement is researched. Still, something I wonder about. Or it could be like my Uncle who's SO QUEBECOIS and fits the stereotype so WELL but will never admit it. Also, Fraction you get big points for mentioning poutine which is like HEAVEN since everyone should know of the joy that is a Canadian poutine. Also, mild slap in the face to Austen for having Northstar ask Logan if this is just a gay mascot job offer. Fraction, writing Jean Paul is your calling because for the first time your writing is solid gold with this scene.

Next, we have the psychics waking up (AGAIN!) and we get treated to recycled Land image with Emma as the target again:

Look at that awkward arm. Not that the original image is any better, while less awkward in drawing, it's awkward because Emma is hiding behind a wall while Cyclops is pointlessly torturing a man. As if she would not be present and eating popcorn! Or just simply, she'd never fucking hide when Cyclops know she's there.

Next scene we have Miss Betsy being put back in original British body. Massive points to Fraction if he can: A. Write her correctly with personality, but not with one scarily close to Emma's B. Keep her in British body.

In summary, this issue went from terrible to good to fucking awesome to good. Fraction has finally set himself up on a platform where if he succeeds he can definitely turn me from writing mainly complaints to compliments. One biggie is learning how to write Emma correctly though, I will gladly give a writer's workshop to any writer willing enough to listen to my obsessive rants and reccomendations.