The List #50 Part 1

Avengers Academy #9
Writer: Christos Gage
Artist: Mike McKone
The issue centers around Tygra's decision last issue to expel Hazmat, Veil, and Stryker for beating up The Hood and recording it. From there, the majority of the teaching staff go against her and she ends up taking some iffy shots at her co-workers:

Really, Tygra? Is that really how you're going to demonstrate how you were correct in your decision? Also, for some reason Jocasta is considered in the debate with Pym claiming that she's spent just as much time with the students as the rest of the teaching staff. Which confuses me because I don't even remember an issue where she was announced as officially part of the teaching staff. Was there one? All I remember is that she was just in the book all of a sudden.

Luckily, Quicksilver ends up correctly telling Tygra off by explaining that her betraying the students by abandoning them will do exactly what Avengers Academy is trying to prevent. Which is good on him even though during this he was returning from helping Finesse find out if Taskmaster is her father by breaking into his base. Oh well, it's hardly a secret that Quicksilver's far from perfect.

While at Taskmaster's base, Finesse does indeed meet with the man who could quite possibly be her father and they duke it out. It ends with him admitting she could be his child, but that he doesn't actually know due to a side effect of his memory ability that causes him to forget such basic things like what he did last week. Definitely an interesting point about the character that I'd never heard before, and it makes me curious concerning whether or not this will also happen to Finesse.

The issue ends with Tygra tentatively letting the students back into the Academy. And then secretly watching the tape she was so up in arms about while no one's looking.

Conclusion: Certainly a good issue, especially with Tygra being a total mess, but it's sort of lacking in the talkable moments department.

X-Factor #215
Writer: Peter David
Artist: Valentine De Landro
This time around Layla Miller and Madrox in a vampire drama are featured which is a significant improvement from Dull Darwyn's Western last issue.

The vampire story itself is pretty typical, but I did enjoy that, rather than a typical vampire being used, David used a vandella (a vampiric dream spirit). However, it's otherwise uninteresting and predictable.

The other story of this issue revolves around Madrox finally getting to ask Layla about her ability to "know things," why she went to Dr. Doom (who, it turns out, taught her some magic), and just what's up with her these days. Only so much progress is made in answering these questions, but at least it lead to Layla getting back to her weird charm. Also, one of Jamie's dupes proposes to Layla, she seriously accepts and drags it out even though Jamie explains it's just a dupe, and in the end, we have this random moment:

Fortunately, she doesn't say yes.
I get that she hasn't been a little kid for two or three years, but I still find this a bit creepy.
Sorry, David, I know you're trying to move a hinted plotline before it goes stale, but I'm really not interested in seeing this develop.

Conclusion: Overall a good issue, the weird Layla time was enjoyable, but in the end, it's kind of forgettable.

Age of X: Alpha #1
Writer: Mike Carey
Artists: [Various]
If you've read the many interviews and features that happened in anticipation of this event, then the stories this issue won't be as surprising as they're meant to be. However, despite their lack of newness, some of them are definitely pretty intense.

Basically this issue works to set up the tone and details of the universe that we're dealing with during Age of X in the form of X-Men sharing stories around a campfire before going into battle. We're given 4 of these vignettes with details about the universe being released randomly along the way, like this disturbing one that Toad reveals:

Of the vignettes, we get a disturbing one with Husk and Cannonball discovering their family murdered in a dump truck due to their family producing so many mutants, and with this we also see the split between Paige and Sam as Paige decides on taking a more active approach at ending the anti-mutant agenda. There's also Wolverine being revealed to have taken the Cure in order to remove it from the world; a story I imagine will have consequences during this crossover. Oh and we also get a cameo of the Mastermind sisters which hopefully means they'll appear again sometime soon.

Perhaps the most shocking story of this issue would be the story of Basilisk's (Cyclops) escape from Alcatraz. What happened is Alcatraz, being run by Arcade, functioned as a prison for mutants with Basilisk being forced into serving as the executioner of the mutants on death row. He also has no eyelids as Arcade wanted to make sure he'd serve his purpose. Yeah, it's pretty intense, and Gabriel Hernandez Walta's art definitely heightens the intensity of this story. The vignette concludes with Basilisk managing to break out of Alcatraz and take revenge on Arcade, and, I can't believe I'm saying this, it's an amazingly badass Cyclops moment. Wow. I actually just said something nice about Cyclops; it's official now, Carey really can work miracles.

Conclusion: While depressing, this issue is at times powerful and overall a decent one though not especially spectacular in any way.

Concerning the poll results, I'm kinda pissed because, despite the grand total of votes being 42, somehow it got messed up and now it only shows that 24 people voted. Don't know what happened there, but I have to say that I'm not impressed with that. Luckily, the percentages are still basically the same, and in the end it seems that the majority of people want Cypher gone which I totally agree with. Anyway, I've finally put up a new poll, it's multiple answer, and hopefully this time around it functions correctly.

The List #48

Astonishing X-Men: Xenogenesis #4
Writer: Warren Ellis
Artist: Kaare Andrews
This issue is basically about clarifying what the situation is and exactly how serious. What's the situation? This:

So the X-Men have found themselves in a pickle as to a plan of action, which is especially bad as the situation is dire. The Furies basically beat up Wolverine into an eviscerated swiss cheese, and they didn 't even feel it when Storm used a lethal level lightning bolt on them. Wolverine just barely kills one by ripping out its spine. And what's worse is if they manage to win, there will just be an even larger army of Furies sent in to come take care of the mysterious man (who's basically a living 'Ghost Box' so he can cross over to alternate dimensions).

And just to illustrate how bad this is, here's the image Emma found when she read the man's mind: A superhero mass grave!

.....They're actually just shipping them off to go be extras in the next Marvel Zombies installment.

And that's pretty much all that happened this issue, sorry about the briefness, but the issue is fairly action-y so it leaves not a lot to be said.

Conclusion: As I've said before: Despite it's horrible schedule, Astonishing is still one of the better X-Books around, especially this mini-series. This issue sees the arc go take a much more serious turn, and departing from the humor of the previous issue while still maintaining the same electric energy.

Chaos War: X-Men #1
Writers: Chris Claremont and Louise Simonson
Artist: Doug Braithwaite
When this 2-issue side story was announced, I was kind of excited. The idea of the interesting Cuckoos working together with other long deceased (besides Necrosha) X-Characters seemed like a great idea......and then I found out Claremont was on board. The thing with Claremont is I feel like his creativity is gone, it wasn't Y2K compatible and it died, so now we've got the worst of Claremont's gimmicks running around and ruining anything they touch. With that news, I was seriously considering skipping out on this limited series.

In the end, for whatever reason, I didn't and I can definitely say I'm glad for that. While this issue certainly carries some [classic Claremont-isms], they don't get in the way of the story which I actually found to be pretty exciting. This could just be a product of him co-writing with Louise Simonson, or random spark of talent resurrecting itself, but in the end it all still feels fresh and fun.

Basically the story is of a random team of deceased X-Men (Thunderbird, Banshee, Moira MacTaggert, Sophie and Esme Cuckoo, and three Multiple Man dupes who are each from a different era) being resurrected at the place of their graves (the ruins of the X-Mansion), and trying to figure out the source of their resurrection while trying to escape the terror of the Carrion Crow who's hunting them. While a team of extremely minor characters may seem to be a formula for boredom and apathy, it's instead an exciting chance to get away from the A-List character for a team of refreshingly unique characters.

On a side note, for some reason the fact that Esme is the rebellious Cuckoo translated to make her speak Chris Claremont Colloquial (meaning Jubilee). Which is weird because, despite Esme’s rebellious side, she still for most part sounded just as formal as her sisters while she was defecting from the X-Men. [See it here]

Conclusion: This issue is a surprisingly fun story with a much-needed escape from the parading of A-List characters, so do consider picking this one up.

New Mutants #20
Writer: Zeb Wells
Artists: Leonard Kirk w/Andrew Currie
Before I begin, I just need to express how pleasantly surprised I am by how much this arc has improved. It began as yet another pointless Limbo arc that made me begin to lose faith in NM, and it somehow became this intense, addicting arc that is probably one of the best so far.

Within Limbo, there's a lot of unrest among the demons as they come to the military base looking for the bloodstones/amulet/things. In response, one of the Infernos is given the bloodstones and begins fighting the hordes of demons.

Some manage to get by her and break into the building, Dani's room of torture to be specific, where Dani is waiting for them with a broken arm. And....she kicks their f@#%ing asses. Yeah, she's pretty badass, and it doesn't stop there. You remember the woman who got a kick out of her being tortured? She also comes in to check on the situation, and in the most badass, satisfying moment this issue, Dani kills that bitch. In short, one of the purposes of this issue is to remind you that Danielle Moonstar is a badass and don't you ever forget it.

Meanwhile, the X-Men rally together to go rescue the New Mutants, with Illyana and Xi'an going off to the side to discuss what's really going on. Illyana reveals that this isn't actually a rescue mission, and stabs Karma with her soul sword. From there, she brings the X-Men to the portal the military had used to enter Limbo, much to their confusion, and just as they get there the portal bursts open with demons.

While this is going on, Karma enters Legion's mind with the soul sword (because some things can't just simply be given), and in the second most satisfying moment, we find out her mission as she performs it: To break out the real Legion personality. This is a beautiful thing for a number of reasons, but the most important reason being this: Considering how lately reformed personalties have also been watered down to have none of their previous flair and now being bland ghosts of their previous selves, it's nice to see that some people are still truly villainous assholes. It's refreshing really.

Conclusion: This arc just keeps getting better and better as it nears the conclusion of Wells' run on NM.

Now onto the poll results:
I have to say I found it interesting that Domino and Magik dominated this poll, and by how much considering I've never really known them to be popular characters (which could just be a thing of who I talk to). I also found it surprsing how nearly equally chosen the other options were, with each of them either getting 4 or 5 votes.

Also surprising to me is that Magneto didn't rate higher, considering how he'd be a fitting addition to a bunch of sometimes-evil, somewhat-crazy characters. Obviously he was my pick in this thing, and yeah, I have to say the poll results this time around were hard to predict.

The List #46 Part 2

Avengers Academy #7
Writer: Christos Gage
Artist: Tom Raney, not Mike McKone as it is credited.
As evidenced by the cover, this issue is completely devoted to Hank Pym and his eternal angst over actions he committed 20 years ago (Right? I'm only a light Avengers fan, but seems to me all his 'bad' shit happened nowhere near recently, right?).

We begin this month's helping on a scandalous note when Tygra and child decide to pay Pymie a visit. Little did I know, it seems Tygra's child is the product of her and a skrull impersonating Hank Pym. But these facts get even more scandalous as we find out thattt --->

Tygra, stunned and shocked, reacts by asserting to Pym that the child is hers and hers alone. But then she also has to explain that her original reason for showing up is to ask that, if anything should happen to her, Hank would take him in. Yeah, it's awkward.

It gets more awkward when Tygra brings up Hank's long lost wife, the Wasp, and Hank reveals that he's put Janet's molecules together in this infinite mansion and now he plans on bringing her back from this. I don't really understand all of it, I tried my hardest to ignore the Mighty Avengers when it was under Pym, so here's Jocasta with a mini explanation:

She looks so.......glamorous.

The rest of the issue is about Hank taking on the Absorbing Man, predictably beating him, and having a personal revelation about the dangers of bringing Janet back. Done. Fin. Except not so much. Were this just to be a done-in-one issue where we deal with Hank's angst for it's yearly pitying and then just move on, I'd be fine, but no, apparently this will be the focus of an arc coming out in March. Joy. I know Pym fans are probably excited for this, but truth be told I've barely dealt with him and I'm exhausted from this character. Which is exactly the opposite of what I came to this book for considering I wanted something new and fresh, which it is when the students are running the book. Anyway, that's my two cents on the future of AA.

Also, it should be mentioned that McKone was unfortunately not on pencils this time around; it was Tom Raney who's so not my favorite artist. In fact, I find his entire range of emotions on characters to read as ridiculous and difficult to take serious. This issue is no different though he for most part does a decent job.

Conclusion: This issue's not without its good parts, but in the end, it's a bit dull due to its starring character's arc being tired and worn out already.

Uncanny X-Force #3
Writer: Rick Remender
Artist: Jerome Opena
Finally this issue we get a comprehensive explanation of who's who in Apocalypse's army. And luckily it's in the preview, so you can all check up on it [here]. Oh and the old lady who's teaching child Apocalypse how to be himself again? Apparently that's Ship! That little detail caught me by surprise especially considering I thought that Ship was a pleasant little transportation vessel controlled by an evil master. Oh well, I much prefer this evil old lady take; she can be my new Frau Totenkinder.

Concerning the other Apocalypse followers, I'll say this: War's pretty badass as long as he's silent, Famine's perfectly creepy as hell, Pestilence as an awesome powerful and it looks great visually but I'm not a fan of her inferiority complex, and lastly, Death is the only one that really disappoints as he looks like a cheesy Vanisher ripoff and has an everyvillain personality.

Moving back to the events of the issue, all of this info is collected by Psylocke while all of X-Force is badly beaten and laying at the feet of the villains....yeah she's a badass and her lessons in badass are proudly displayed throughout the issue. Eventually Wolverine manages to get up and drags Death off of the team so that they can have the same fight Wolverine always has: A battle completely in favor of the enemy but somehow Wolverine manages to survive it out of sheer "badass". Meanwhile, Archangel's in shit shape after Famine got him and Deadpool is the only one around to take of him. Amusingly enough, Deadpool pulls out his only food supply: Pop rocks and Coke, and drowns Warren in it. From there its Nurse Deadpool taking care of Warren which is a survivor story on its own.

The main mover of the plot this issue is concerning Psylocke and Fantomex attempting to get their shit together as they are the only members really around and able. Psylocke takes charge, ordering Fantomex to let her in his mind. Here's how that goes over:

You go, Miss Braddock.

Fantomex listens to Betsy and she immediately begins psychically working on the effects of Famine's drum. Except she's stopped by War slamming her in the face. Ouch. Anyway, Fantomex being left as the only useful member begins illusioning everywhere, taking care of Death and Pestilence while saving Wolverine. He also manages to convince War that he loves Betsy, causing him to bring her into Apocalypse's HQ, and giving her the opening to take him out. While this is great and all, I have to say that Fantomex's little illusions took care of a bit too many of the group's problems and I'm hoping this isn't one of those "fix-all" things throughout the series. Anyway, as the Ship is teleporting out of the moon, kid Apocalypse whose busy with his toys receives a visitor: Betsy coming in with a katana. End issue.

Perfect ending. Obviously it's mostly for the fact that it's Psylocke who's just doing a lot of "take charge" things, but this is so much better than my worries about her just being the useless token female of the group. Also, I was pleased to hear [this news] from Remender on a recent X-Position concerning returning Betsy to her British roots.

Conclusion: Despite my few minor issues, another great issue of Uncanny X-Force with strong writing, fantastic art that I'm still very in awe of, and what seems to be a very bright future for this series.

In other news, here are the results of the last poll concerning which lovely mutant should get repowered:

Unsurprisingly, it seems the biggest chunk of us want to see Jubilee repowered and presumably non-vampire again as it was sad for Marvel to piggyback on the decaying end of a pop culture trend, but to prolong it now is just purely pathetic. Plus I'm sure angsty vampire Jubilee is going to be the stuff of dreams for 2005's emo trend and its desperate hanger-ons, but it'll just likely annoy the hell out of everyone else. I'm thinking we all just want to see Jubes back to her sassy self because.....Baby. She's a firework.

In second place by one vote we have Rictor which also is not surprising as, while Rictor's definitely good for fulfilling fans' desperate need for some well-written homoness, I think we'd all like to see him back to being able to effectively handle himself in super situations.

Winder Dancer coming in third place, however, was surprising as I was not aware she had a much of a fan base, so, um, good on her fans and hopefully she'll pop back into the MU sometime. Anddd besides that, all I have to say is I'm surprised Callisto didn't get more votes and that's pretty much it. That's all for this week and be sure to go vote on the latest one!

The List #44 Part 1

Hey everyone, I'm back from my extended absence that was due to my busy schedule of life-having. So yeah, I'm going to recap what I missed briefly (well, relatively considering my original commentary) in the next two posts because it would kill me not to say a couple things on what's gone by. Let's get started, shall we?

Action Comics #894
Writer: Paul Cornell
Artist: Pete Woods
The much-anticipated return of the extremely popular Death of the Endless turned out to be a bit overhyped. While her appearance lasted the entire issue and contained much dialogue, in the end there was a loss of that special flair that comes with Death's appearance. Remember how Death's appearance was always a treat because every line she had was pure gold? This not so much. I think this can be partially blamed on the visually uninteresting presentation from the artist which just made the entire event feel very common and unremarkable. Then there's the bland dialogue she's fed that ultimately leaves maybe one memorable moment. It's all very general and with this issue basically rotating around just their discussion it would lead you to think said dialogue would be a bit more entertaining.

In this appearance, Death is essentially supporting Lex's story, whose appeal is beyond me and failed to capture me here, so instead of stealing the spotlight like her return should be she's simply formed around Lex's story. Conclusion: Possibly a problem with who she was placed with, but this appearance of the typically peppy Death turned out to be flat. Hopefully we'll see her again in a better light soon though.

Uncanny X-Men #529
Writer: Matt Fraction
Artist: Whilce Portacio with Harvey Tolibao
This issue contains just more of Fraction's poor attempts at writing Emma. Oh and Danger and Box finally become the pioneering couple that inspire confidence to those sex robot enthusiasts who've come into the spotlight of public humiliation as of late. Also, can we talk about how creepy it was when Fantomex walked in on Box who had a projection of Danger and her systems up on his screen? It just had this horrible vibe of a creeper who got a hold of someone's nudes. Whatever, at least they finally went out on a date.

The 'Lights' are dealt with at some points, but I won't really get into it. Nor will I get into Generation Hope #1. Why? Because these new mutants have bland, one-note personalities with unoriginal powers. And I mean one-note as each character seems to be defined by one trait that is constantly played up on. The metal-skin girl? Her academic drive, that's all she sees the world through. African girl with fire and ice powers? All religious/spiritual focused thoughts. And of course, the feral guy's always mate and sometimes fight/flight which is ridiculous especially because you KNOW they would have never written a female feral mutant to have mate on her mind all the time. I could go on and on about how much I dislike this feral mutant's likely gendered presentation, but I'll do it some other time. Which by the way, all of these powers? It's not just that we've seen them before; it's that we've seen them so many times that it's aggravating to see the same old powers used for the new generation. One would think that the writers would jump at the opportunity to think up some nifty new powers and complex new characters, but no it would seem. I've heard part of the reason to be sort of like the original five X-Men, butttt don't we go down that route every couple of years with some mini series or origins issue?

The main plot of this issue is yet again dramatizing for no reason. Fantomex all of a sudden becomes involved in the abduct Shaw mission where he only does two things: Hypnotizes Box into going out with Danger and places an EVA in place of Shaw in the prison. Even though Emma's fully capable of convincing Box into peacing out for awhile. Whatever, another opportunity for Fraction to air out his fratboy brand badassery. Oh and also, Kitty's involved. But is she moving around you may ask!? The science club made her a special suit. Yup, yet another example of science being the new magic in this series. And in terms of Emma, she was yet again interpreted through the eyes of a 13 year old as her dialogue was everywhere and just horrid. This being the worst example:

Did Fraction really just attempt to claim that Nightcrawler was Emma's favorite?
Even though they've had maybe two lukewarm scenes together?

Seriously, why does Fraction insist on attempting to qualify crap that has little-to-no previous evidence. Even worse this issue was the presentation of Danger's pondering on whether or not Emma was good or evil. You would think some things would have been made clear by, that she's essentially gray and simply working in a lighter shade these days, but it seems basic ideas elude this series. Conclusion: Standard Fraction crap. Next.

X-Men: To Serve and Protect #1
Writer: James Asmus
Artist: Jon Buran

For this issue I'll only be covering the Emma story considering the others are about Fantomex, Cypher, and Rockslide who are obviously not my favs. Also, I'm going to touch on her Young Allies appearance.

So the story is that a massage parlor gets attacked by Mandrill while Emma's getting a massage there. He uses his pheromone powers to control the women there and make them fall in love with him, but Emma remains immune in her diamond form. Emma and Mandrill discuss why he thinks he deserves these women and why he believes it's ok to manipulate them with this questionable line:

While I adore this calling out of men's absurd expectations, there's a few things wrong here with Emma being the one to say this. Considering she's someone who's gotten plastic surgery to conform to the ideal image of women and has hooked up with some of the worst womanizers, I think she's hardly in a great position to speak on this especially because she's still with an immature manchild. Some of you may say 'Who better than her,' and I can see that, but I would at least have liked her to address that she's previously conformed to these ridiculous notions. I'm all for Emma Frost having some sort of feminist angle, but one that at least makes sense to her character.

Concerning Young Allies #6, her appearance was basically what's common of her recent spotlight. She steps in with difficult to belive altruistic motives (in this case wanting to bring Firestar to Utopia), but the writers try to cover it up by having her be pointlessly bitchy in ways that make no sense to her character and really just serve to insult her intelligence (the whole ordering coffee then acting insulted by it when someone tries to serve her it). And the resolution of this coming to Utopia issue ended with a very fanfic-y "I don't want to live by any labels" speech from Firestar which left Emma 'touched'. Do I even need to explain how I feel about that? Also, this inability to correctly execute Emma's voice by most writers makes it sadly hilarious that Kelly Thompson of She Has No Head! said today, "A lot of writers really seem to “get” Emma’s voice as Grant Morrison, Joss Whedon, Warren Ellis, Scott Lobdell, Kathryn Immonen and several other significant writers have all nailed her voice in recent years..." [Source]. While, yes, all of these writers have besides Immonen have, but still, all the rest generally disappoint in a big way and miss her voice and characterization by quite a bit. Anyway, onwards to the most recent poll:

Telekinesis and Telepathy tied for #1! And then Flight, Shape-shifting, and Super Strength all came in 3rd, 4th, and 5th way behind the first two. Thanks for voting and be sure to vote one the next one! Also, be sure to look out for the next post which hopefully will be in a couple days where I review the lastest Avengers Academy, Avengers the Childrens Crusade, and Chew.

The List #42

New Avengers #5
Writer: Brian Michael Bendis
Artist: Stuart Immomen
This week was all about re-asserting how Wolverine is the MOST POWERFUL SUPERHERO IN THE ENTIRE MARVEL UNIVERSE. Sorcerer Supreme? That ain't SHIT next to 9-inch metal claws. The power of the Phoenix? Bitch, have you seen his healing factor? Galactus? Fuck no, Wolvie's fighting training spans centuries, he can kick G-Dawg's ASS!

No seriously. I get pandering to Wolverine fans makes it so that people want to buy the issue, but holy shit, does he always have to be the MOST POWERFUL, BIGGEST THREAT, and RIDICULOUSLY BADASS? The writers do realize that there are people reading who aren't fans of Logan and just can't suspend their disbelief in the face of this ridiculously assertion of Wolverine's importance to everything.

Anyway, besides the ridiculous part at the end where Wolverine is decided to be the best vessel for the combined powers of all everyone there, this arc provided an image of just how ridiculous this book's current cast is (I'd post it, but my blog post's width is too narrow...I'm not even kidding) with 12 characters being involved. Plus Hawkeye for two minutes to tell us he wasn't actually on the team which just read like BMB threw this in the script last second just to make the fanboys aware of the roster. But yeah, the amount of characters involved in this arc is ridiculous, and we were already working with a large cast in the first place.

Oh also at one point the ridiculous amount of chatter was lampshaded through the use of one of the villain-figures commenting on it. K......BMB? Just because you joked it off doesn't make it any less annoying that 12 characters are all talking at the same time with none of it being of any use to the story or just for the purpose of updating the other characters on things that the reader already knows.

X-Men #4
Writer: Victor Gischler
Artist: Paco Medina
This entire book is one big fucking cliche. First, there's vampire cliches where we have Wolverine toting the Vampire cause by trying to persuade the X-Men that it's cool to be vampin' with the most typical dialogue of 'vampire-to-human-persuasion' you could have ever thought up. Also, there was the now really familiar scene of a band playing while there's a fight scene going on around them and people assuming that it's just part of the show. Second, there's the X-Men cliches with the second assertion this week that Wolverine IS THE MOST VALUABLE X-MAN. Then there's the whole cliche possessed person dialogue where the characters try reasoning with the possessed person even though they know that character is not themself. Honestly, X-Men thus far is a really big piece of fanfic, and it's really failing to justify why it's existence is necessary. Now onto the poll:

This past poll turned out some good results especially with the option for multiple answers. It seems you guys fucking hate Darwin considering he was the consistent leader of this poll. This probably the only way he'd ever get that much attention. The next person on our collective shit-list is that bitch Rahne and I have to say at that point it thrills me to know we're all on the same page here. Longshot and Strong Guy then followed which I have to say are strong choices. Then it followed with Shatterstar, Monet, and Multiple Man at the bottom of the voted-for list. Most surprisingly, despite the option to choose the entire cast if one so chose, it seems no votes went out to Rictor, Siryn, or Layla Miller. Anyway, thanks to everyone who voted on this poll, very fun results, and please do go vote on the next one.

The List #40

Before we begin, apologies again for the my delayed and brief posts for this past month, I've probably already mentioned that it's due to my college workload at the moment and yeah, it's still going strong right now. Also, maybe it's just me, but this month's releases were overall bland and I found myself without much to say on half of my regular titles. Anyway, all of this will probably be resolved very soon, so please just bear with me.

Astonishing X-Men: Xenogenesis #3
Writer: Warren Ellis
Artist: Kaare Andrews
Despite the good omen of this issue's fabulous cover, this issue had little of the joy, laughter, and fun of previous issues to offer this time around. Basically the events of the issue were this: Captain Crocodile who popped in at the end of the last issue attempted to explain his motivation for wanting to kill the babies as they sometimes blow up. Then there was a hunt for a guy on the run named James Jasper clone or something who has to do with the Warpies business (Not sure the significance and I refuse to read Excalibur to find out). He was killed and then this leads to an opening of a Ghost Box with tons of soldiers from another dimension coming though.

Overall, it was underwhelming as Captain Crocodile and the silent hunt for James Jasper ate up a lot of page time. There was a moment of pure joy where Emma was given her due respect though [which can be viewed here], and of course this thrilled me to no end as it's always a good day when my Queen is treated like the Queen she is. Speaking of her being an absolute queen, unfortunately there was only one moment this issue where she was funny and it was really just commentary on her odd way of patching into other people's brains last issue. Still, Emma goodness is Emma goodness:

Conclusion: I'm sad to say this issue was a disappointment as it was an issue I had heavy anticipation for and also, Astonishing is one of the few titles where I can see Emma written correctly (as you will see emphasized when we get to Uncanny).

Gotham City Sirens #16
Writer: Peter Calloway
Artist: Andres Guinaldo
This arc begins fresh without the absolute bore that is Tony Bedard's writing. It's difficult to judge whether or not this writer will work this series as the results of this issue were mixed: The cast's personalities are still being flatly written with everyone's dialogue sounding mediocre and like the discount store version of how they usually speak. However, a big plus of this issue was the special guest appearances of other Gotham City Sirens such as Zatanna, Talia Al Ghul, and Oracle which is a big plus considering this is supposed to be a female-centered series.

On the other hand, the big conflict of this arc has to do with Selina's connection with Bruce Wayne and villains discovering his secret identity. Definitely a minus to have an arc rotating around a man attached to one of these characters, even though it's been the focus of most of the arcs so far, because it just seems to present this idea that these female characters have no stories of their own without the men in their lives.

The artist, who's been with us since at least last arc but I've yet to really comment on, is also a subject of mixed results as he's absolutely terrible, but he also seems to produce hilarious results as can be seen here with Selina:

Either Selina's been secretly working to be a body builder or this guy has difficulty drawing outside of male physiques.

Also did Dick Grayson get thrown in some sort of aging machine in order to be an adequate replacement for Batman? Because this guy's take on Dick is absolutely scary. Like I think he's using former Batman Adam West as a reference. And I mean the Adam West of now.

Conclusion: While I'm thrilled for GCS to finally have a new writer, I can't say he's doing anything that different from the last one. However, there are a couple spots that I found to be encouraging so there may be hope for this series yet.

Uncanny X-Men #528
Writer: Matt Fraction
Artist: Whilce Portacio
Fraction needs to stop writing Emma Frost. For some reason he thinks he can, so he spent half the issue focusing on her and her new plan to kill Sebastian Shaw so no one ever finds out she's keeping him prisoner and all this just sounds like fucking grasping for storylines. More importantly, it's further ruining her character because obviously he's still writing her with the most fucked-up dialogue I've ever read.

Also, I'm so done with these new kids' storylines. It's the same thing every issue: There's conflict with the new power, X-Men arrive to help but they can't do much, and in the end it's only Hope who helps them and for some idiotic reason they agree to go with the X-Strangers. In the end, here's Storm's breasts to sum up how I feel about this issue.

I'll grow up someday.

X-Men Legacy #240
Writer: Mike Carey
Artist: Clay Mann
Despite this being one of the best X-men series as well as a currently serving up a great arc with the much-anticipated return of the Children of the Vault, I find myself having little to actually say about it. It's through no fault of this book that I find myself in this position, hopefully if you read you can see why, but I just couldn't find any point in particular this issue that I found noteworthy on its own.

Anyway, I highly recommend this book as one of the strongest X-Books of the past year and also this specific arc as its got the charming work of Clay Mann with Carey providing a great story and using a unique cast of X-Men that really works for this arc.




X-Men Vs. Vampires #1
Writers + Artists: [Find Out Here]
X-Vignette mini-series tend to be a hit or miss with me with the miss being the general leaning. This one so far seems to be fine despite it being part of the horrible vampire-polooza bullshit. Here's a quick rundown of what was went down in this one:

Husk shows her loyalty to her BFF Jubes and goes out hunting for information about where she is. When she encounters vampires we get a show of how badass she is as she shakes off a vampire bites by just husking, turns into a wooden form with tons of stakes, isn't phased by being set on fire, and barely reacts to getting chopped in half with an axe. Why isn't she on a team again?

The next story is a Dazzler story where we get the whole "We're people too!" vampire story. Which would be fine if that was even close to the main focus of this vampire event. Instead, it's a story in a vignette series which means a whimper in the terrible roar of this event. Not only do I not care, but True Blood's already got this covered and does it so much better.

Following that is what seems to be a Rogue story where she meets a vampire who believes she's the reincarnated form of his past lover due to her spirit seeming the same. Instead it turns out to be none other than No-Girl possessing Rogue. At first she's torn about this as he promises her love and a body, but in the end she just kills him. Also, Ernst appears and is fabulous in appearance, but fails to sound like her creepy self (is it really that had to write a creepy voice? Seriously?). Basically a mediocre story involving two great characters.

And the last story is a Magneto one which I didn't even bother to read. I'm sorry, I don't care if this turns out to be the greatest vignette story ever, I'm so fucking sick of Magneto right now I just want Logan to decapitate him this frigging instant. And now for the news:

• This double-panel from Namor: The First Douchebag #2 served to tick me off. I'd take it less seriously had Emma reacted as if this was sarcasm or denial, but it seems she thinks him serious. To this I say: Really, Namor? You're the pathetic stalker here, bud. Remember [this]?
• Apologies for my lack of inclusion of Avengers Academy #4, but it was fucking dull due to spotlighting Mettle as well as having to no suspense considering A. Osborn wouldn't bite it in a junior book B. We already saw the end result of this issue in Thunderbolts.
  
• The results of our last poll reveal Wolverine and Rahne's Hellspawn in a tie for most likely to be declared Omega-level which is exactly as it should be. Narcissistic asshat Cypher followed in second and Fantomex came in a far behind third. Qwerty and Sage tied for fourth which is too bad because I was rooting for Claremont's super-pet. Oh and Longshot didn't get a single vote, so how's that for lucky? Thanks everyone for voting and don't forget to vote on the new multiple choice question where you choose who gets kicked out of X-Factor. And by multiple choice I mean you can pick as many members as you want. Hell, kick out the whole team if you want.
  

Comic Book Releases Briefly: 9/1/10 and 9/9/10

Apologies for being absent for the past two weeks, but I just started college again so my life has been a bit hectic lately. If you find yourself going through bitchy withdrawls, just know that I've also got a [Tumblr] that you can go to for second helpings of snarkery.

Anyway, it seems my absence couldn't be more perfectly timed as it seems not a lot happened in comic book land while I was gone. Here's a brief look at what I thought of the books I would normally have reviewed:

Avengers: The Childrens Crusade #2
Writer: Allan Heinberg
Artist: Jim Cheung
The only book that I was really looking forward to reviewing, but in the end it's fine because I had little to say about it anyway. Not as good as the first issue, but still amazingly satisfying for me. Seriously, if this book needs to be on a bi-monthly schedule in order to produce a quality product like it has then I'm all for it.

One thing I found shocking was that they actually had Quicksilver and Speed meet up. I've always thought of Speed as the massive ripoff in the room, and I assumed that Quicksilver and him could never meet just because Speed is nearly identical to him. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Heinberg's YA, but let's be honest: Speed is basically a young Quicksilver and was probably just hastily created so that the Scarlet Witch plotline could be introduced. Anyway, this was definitely the best release of the past two weeks and I recommend you all pick it up.

Scarlet #2
Writer: Brian Michael Bendis
Artist: Alex Maleev
One word summary: Mediocre.
Scarlet's view on the world, despite being justified by her experience, still sounds like Hot Topic brand whining about how 'the world is full of shit'. And it's this attitude plus her overconfidence in what she 'knows' about the world despite being 17 that turned me off from this issue.

However, as dull and whiny as it was, I thought [this fucking bullshit] with the shop owner ripping up an issue of Scarlet was ridiculous. Seriously, guy? Thanks for helping along the stereotype that comic book fans are emotionally stunted adults. It's not even that bad of a fucking book, and even if it were, it's not connected to any other books or drawing from any other continuity. Scarlet's not even set in any real universe that matters! This book couldn't be easier to avoid if you don't like it.
I just find this to be such an obnoxious, childish act of disrespect, and that's coming from someone who writes bitchy comic book reviews for the hell of it.

X-Men #3
Writer: Victor Gischler
Artist: Paco Medina
Despite the pressure to do something remarkable considering the current state of vampire fatigue, this series so far has decided to reuse all the typical vampire dialogue/plot moves/everything. Also, despite the pressure of being a new X-Book with no established difference from Uncanny, this series has decided to reuse all the same X-Men dialogue/plot moves/everything. Seriously, using one of Wolverine's sidekicks to lure him into a situation? And worst of all, deeming Wolverine 'the most powerful X-Man' and having him converted to their side. Isn't that the subject of every other X-Related story? Also, what the fuck on Wolverine being the most powerful/useful X-Man? Yeah, because claws and a healing factor are so much more useful than top-tier psychic powers, full control of the elements, or a control of ice that makes the user nearly unkillable. This is the sort of shit logic that happens when you let obssessive fanboys write the books. Anyway, don't waste your spare bucks on this regurgitated storyline.

New Avengers #4
Writer: Brian Michael Bendis
Artist: Stuart Immomen
This issue is pretty unremarkable. At least Daimon Hellstrom still has no idea what a shirt is.

Batgirl #14
Writer: Bryan Q Miller
Artist: Lee Garbett
I was so bored I couldn't even finish it, and it's rare that I put down anything that I started reading, least of all a comic book. I think this issue marks the end for me and Batgirl, especially since my favorite character, Oracle, is now getting pushed out of the series.

Lastly, poll results time!
Unsurprisingly, Psylocke and Archangel won this poll with 15 votes which is expected considering they're the only couple on this list that now has confirmation to be pairing up officially. Also, it's Psylocke and I know that a lot of you here love her.

Namor and Emma came in second place with 12 votes.....yeah, wasn't expecting that. It seems we see things a little different, my readers, considering I loathe the idea of Emma being with another manchild, but it's ok, we can love each other for our differences. Anyway, moving onto my favorite couple...

Danger and Box came in third with 6 votes, one of them being mine, and I'm surprised they didn't at least get second considering how magnetic a pairing they are. Yes, I know, cheesy robot puns, I'll stop. Lastly, everyone else got one vote. And that's the poll, thanks for voting and please do go vote on the newest one.