The List #50 Part 1

Avengers Academy #9
Writer: Christos Gage
Artist: Mike McKone
The issue centers around Tygra's decision last issue to expel Hazmat, Veil, and Stryker for beating up The Hood and recording it. From there, the majority of the teaching staff go against her and she ends up taking some iffy shots at her co-workers:

Really, Tygra? Is that really how you're going to demonstrate how you were correct in your decision? Also, for some reason Jocasta is considered in the debate with Pym claiming that she's spent just as much time with the students as the rest of the teaching staff. Which confuses me because I don't even remember an issue where she was announced as officially part of the teaching staff. Was there one? All I remember is that she was just in the book all of a sudden.

Luckily, Quicksilver ends up correctly telling Tygra off by explaining that her betraying the students by abandoning them will do exactly what Avengers Academy is trying to prevent. Which is good on him even though during this he was returning from helping Finesse find out if Taskmaster is her father by breaking into his base. Oh well, it's hardly a secret that Quicksilver's far from perfect.

While at Taskmaster's base, Finesse does indeed meet with the man who could quite possibly be her father and they duke it out. It ends with him admitting she could be his child, but that he doesn't actually know due to a side effect of his memory ability that causes him to forget such basic things like what he did last week. Definitely an interesting point about the character that I'd never heard before, and it makes me curious concerning whether or not this will also happen to Finesse.

The issue ends with Tygra tentatively letting the students back into the Academy. And then secretly watching the tape she was so up in arms about while no one's looking.

Conclusion: Certainly a good issue, especially with Tygra being a total mess, but it's sort of lacking in the talkable moments department.

X-Factor #215
Writer: Peter David
Artist: Valentine De Landro
This time around Layla Miller and Madrox in a vampire drama are featured which is a significant improvement from Dull Darwyn's Western last issue.

The vampire story itself is pretty typical, but I did enjoy that, rather than a typical vampire being used, David used a vandella (a vampiric dream spirit). However, it's otherwise uninteresting and predictable.

The other story of this issue revolves around Madrox finally getting to ask Layla about her ability to "know things," why she went to Dr. Doom (who, it turns out, taught her some magic), and just what's up with her these days. Only so much progress is made in answering these questions, but at least it lead to Layla getting back to her weird charm. Also, one of Jamie's dupes proposes to Layla, she seriously accepts and drags it out even though Jamie explains it's just a dupe, and in the end, we have this random moment:

Fortunately, she doesn't say yes.
I get that she hasn't been a little kid for two or three years, but I still find this a bit creepy.
Sorry, David, I know you're trying to move a hinted plotline before it goes stale, but I'm really not interested in seeing this develop.

Conclusion: Overall a good issue, the weird Layla time was enjoyable, but in the end, it's kind of forgettable.

Age of X: Alpha #1
Writer: Mike Carey
Artists: [Various]
If you've read the many interviews and features that happened in anticipation of this event, then the stories this issue won't be as surprising as they're meant to be. However, despite their lack of newness, some of them are definitely pretty intense.

Basically this issue works to set up the tone and details of the universe that we're dealing with during Age of X in the form of X-Men sharing stories around a campfire before going into battle. We're given 4 of these vignettes with details about the universe being released randomly along the way, like this disturbing one that Toad reveals:

Of the vignettes, we get a disturbing one with Husk and Cannonball discovering their family murdered in a dump truck due to their family producing so many mutants, and with this we also see the split between Paige and Sam as Paige decides on taking a more active approach at ending the anti-mutant agenda. There's also Wolverine being revealed to have taken the Cure in order to remove it from the world; a story I imagine will have consequences during this crossover. Oh and we also get a cameo of the Mastermind sisters which hopefully means they'll appear again sometime soon.

Perhaps the most shocking story of this issue would be the story of Basilisk's (Cyclops) escape from Alcatraz. What happened is Alcatraz, being run by Arcade, functioned as a prison for mutants with Basilisk being forced into serving as the executioner of the mutants on death row. He also has no eyelids as Arcade wanted to make sure he'd serve his purpose. Yeah, it's pretty intense, and Gabriel Hernandez Walta's art definitely heightens the intensity of this story. The vignette concludes with Basilisk managing to break out of Alcatraz and take revenge on Arcade, and, I can't believe I'm saying this, it's an amazingly badass Cyclops moment. Wow. I actually just said something nice about Cyclops; it's official now, Carey really can work miracles.

Conclusion: While depressing, this issue is at times powerful and overall a decent one though not especially spectacular in any way.

Concerning the poll results, I'm kinda pissed because, despite the grand total of votes being 42, somehow it got messed up and now it only shows that 24 people voted. Don't know what happened there, but I have to say that I'm not impressed with that. Luckily, the percentages are still basically the same, and in the end it seems that the majority of people want Cypher gone which I totally agree with. Anyway, I've finally put up a new poll, it's multiple answer, and hopefully this time around it functions correctly.

The List #46 Part 2

Avengers Academy #7
Writer: Christos Gage
Artist: Tom Raney, not Mike McKone as it is credited.
As evidenced by the cover, this issue is completely devoted to Hank Pym and his eternal angst over actions he committed 20 years ago (Right? I'm only a light Avengers fan, but seems to me all his 'bad' shit happened nowhere near recently, right?).

We begin this month's helping on a scandalous note when Tygra and child decide to pay Pymie a visit. Little did I know, it seems Tygra's child is the product of her and a skrull impersonating Hank Pym. But these facts get even more scandalous as we find out thattt --->

Tygra, stunned and shocked, reacts by asserting to Pym that the child is hers and hers alone. But then she also has to explain that her original reason for showing up is to ask that, if anything should happen to her, Hank would take him in. Yeah, it's awkward.

It gets more awkward when Tygra brings up Hank's long lost wife, the Wasp, and Hank reveals that he's put Janet's molecules together in this infinite mansion and now he plans on bringing her back from this. I don't really understand all of it, I tried my hardest to ignore the Mighty Avengers when it was under Pym, so here's Jocasta with a mini explanation:

She looks so.......glamorous.

The rest of the issue is about Hank taking on the Absorbing Man, predictably beating him, and having a personal revelation about the dangers of bringing Janet back. Done. Fin. Except not so much. Were this just to be a done-in-one issue where we deal with Hank's angst for it's yearly pitying and then just move on, I'd be fine, but no, apparently this will be the focus of an arc coming out in March. Joy. I know Pym fans are probably excited for this, but truth be told I've barely dealt with him and I'm exhausted from this character. Which is exactly the opposite of what I came to this book for considering I wanted something new and fresh, which it is when the students are running the book. Anyway, that's my two cents on the future of AA.

Also, it should be mentioned that McKone was unfortunately not on pencils this time around; it was Tom Raney who's so not my favorite artist. In fact, I find his entire range of emotions on characters to read as ridiculous and difficult to take serious. This issue is no different though he for most part does a decent job.

Conclusion: This issue's not without its good parts, but in the end, it's a bit dull due to its starring character's arc being tired and worn out already.

Uncanny X-Force #3
Writer: Rick Remender
Artist: Jerome Opena
Finally this issue we get a comprehensive explanation of who's who in Apocalypse's army. And luckily it's in the preview, so you can all check up on it [here]. Oh and the old lady who's teaching child Apocalypse how to be himself again? Apparently that's Ship! That little detail caught me by surprise especially considering I thought that Ship was a pleasant little transportation vessel controlled by an evil master. Oh well, I much prefer this evil old lady take; she can be my new Frau Totenkinder.

Concerning the other Apocalypse followers, I'll say this: War's pretty badass as long as he's silent, Famine's perfectly creepy as hell, Pestilence as an awesome powerful and it looks great visually but I'm not a fan of her inferiority complex, and lastly, Death is the only one that really disappoints as he looks like a cheesy Vanisher ripoff and has an everyvillain personality.

Moving back to the events of the issue, all of this info is collected by Psylocke while all of X-Force is badly beaten and laying at the feet of the villains....yeah she's a badass and her lessons in badass are proudly displayed throughout the issue. Eventually Wolverine manages to get up and drags Death off of the team so that they can have the same fight Wolverine always has: A battle completely in favor of the enemy but somehow Wolverine manages to survive it out of sheer "badass". Meanwhile, Archangel's in shit shape after Famine got him and Deadpool is the only one around to take of him. Amusingly enough, Deadpool pulls out his only food supply: Pop rocks and Coke, and drowns Warren in it. From there its Nurse Deadpool taking care of Warren which is a survivor story on its own.

The main mover of the plot this issue is concerning Psylocke and Fantomex attempting to get their shit together as they are the only members really around and able. Psylocke takes charge, ordering Fantomex to let her in his mind. Here's how that goes over:

You go, Miss Braddock.

Fantomex listens to Betsy and she immediately begins psychically working on the effects of Famine's drum. Except she's stopped by War slamming her in the face. Ouch. Anyway, Fantomex being left as the only useful member begins illusioning everywhere, taking care of Death and Pestilence while saving Wolverine. He also manages to convince War that he loves Betsy, causing him to bring her into Apocalypse's HQ, and giving her the opening to take him out. While this is great and all, I have to say that Fantomex's little illusions took care of a bit too many of the group's problems and I'm hoping this isn't one of those "fix-all" things throughout the series. Anyway, as the Ship is teleporting out of the moon, kid Apocalypse whose busy with his toys receives a visitor: Betsy coming in with a katana. End issue.

Perfect ending. Obviously it's mostly for the fact that it's Psylocke who's just doing a lot of "take charge" things, but this is so much better than my worries about her just being the useless token female of the group. Also, I was pleased to hear [this news] from Remender on a recent X-Position concerning returning Betsy to her British roots.

Conclusion: Despite my few minor issues, another great issue of Uncanny X-Force with strong writing, fantastic art that I'm still very in awe of, and what seems to be a very bright future for this series.

In other news, here are the results of the last poll concerning which lovely mutant should get repowered:

Unsurprisingly, it seems the biggest chunk of us want to see Jubilee repowered and presumably non-vampire again as it was sad for Marvel to piggyback on the decaying end of a pop culture trend, but to prolong it now is just purely pathetic. Plus I'm sure angsty vampire Jubilee is going to be the stuff of dreams for 2005's emo trend and its desperate hanger-ons, but it'll just likely annoy the hell out of everyone else. I'm thinking we all just want to see Jubes back to her sassy self because.....Baby. She's a firework.

In second place by one vote we have Rictor which also is not surprising as, while Rictor's definitely good for fulfilling fans' desperate need for some well-written homoness, I think we'd all like to see him back to being able to effectively handle himself in super situations.

Winder Dancer coming in third place, however, was surprising as I was not aware she had a much of a fan base, so, um, good on her fans and hopefully she'll pop back into the MU sometime. Anddd besides that, all I have to say is I'm surprised Callisto didn't get more votes and that's pretty much it. That's all for this week and be sure to go vote on the latest one!

The List #44 Part 2

Chew #15

Writer: John Layman
Artist: Rob Guillory

As we come to the end of the first quarter of the run of this series, we come to meet the alleged last two supporting characters of the series, Toni, Tony's twin who's, uh, really peppy and Olive, Tony's.....daughter. So yeah, things are definitely revealed this issue and we even get to meet the entire Chu clan briefly as Tony goes over for Thanksgiving, much to most of their chagrin of the family (due in to large part to his being an absent father to Olive). One family member in particular I had to note and wish for further development is none other than:

Tony's drag queen younger brother because there will never be a day in my life where I am NOT completely in for a drag queen character. Legit.

Moving on, the majority of the issue was exposition until the big finale as we were introduced to Tony's family, all of it, and their feelings on him. Not a whole lot happens and I can't say there's much in the way of the quirky humor typical of Chew, but it was still a decent issue. We also see Mason Savoy finally do something with Tony's ear, which is eating it, as he discovers the story about Tony's psycho ex. By the way, can I just mention something I've already brought up on my Tumblr, but is too good to not mention?

Mason Savoy is basically the Chew version of Fiddler's Green from Sandman.
Or was, before the whole reveal that he's "up to something".
Whatever, he's so fun that I figure he'll be in Chu's good graces again soon.

Anyway, the issue ends with surprise red lights in the sky which basically changes the series dramatically from what I've read. Conclusion: While this issue doesn't contain the same enthusiastic energy typical of other issues, it's still a good one and seems to be more about setting up future plots than entertaining. Considering it's Chew, I still definitely say pick it up as it's become one of my new favorite ongoings.

Avengers Academy #6
Writer: Christos Gage
Artist: Mike McKone
The spotlight of this issue shines down on Reptil this time around as we join him becoming the class leader of the AA and find out more about his powers and the gem that appear to be the source. Also, some depressing news is revealed about him and Finesse:

Errmm he's the second most innocent member of the AA and I just feel like he's being tainted by the irritating character that is Finesse.

During the issue we see the first hurt that comes from his physical relationship with Finesse as she explains to him that she's not his girlfriend, just a fuck buddy. From there she decides to end things, which to her credit is responsible of her, but in, of course, a harsh way. Throughout the issue we see these frustrations as Reptil deals with being team leader and trying to be helpful and the right sort of role model as well as his struggles to fully transform into a dinosaur. Eventually his dreams do come true, but in the sense that he becomes a feral, uncontrollable dinosaur. The conclusion for this lack of control comes from Pym:

Um, first I'd totally take counseling sessions with Moonstone. I mean, I'd have no hope for improvement, but can you imagine how fun she'd be? Second, what about my girl Frost? She's not only a therapist, but also specializes as a sex therapist so she can help Reptil deal with his Finesse problem. However, I can't say I have any problems with who they chose to counsel him in the end:

YAY! I feel like some of her best character work outside of Alias and Pulse has been when she's counseling teenagers....and not playing housewife.

In the end, Reptil finally starts opening up and things are looking up for him and everything's somewhat decent. Conclusion: Decent issue, but these past few issues have lead to me feeling like this series lacks a little bit of direction as all the side plots make things feel a bit messy and complicated.

Avengers The Childrens Crusade #3
Writer: Allan Heinberg
Artist: Jim Cheung
After last issue's revelation that the Wanda that had been residing in Wundagore Mountain, the one Hawkeye and Beast encountered, was a Doombot, we now finally come to a conclusion on the whereabouts of Wanda as, y'know, only Doom's gonna use Doombots. This issue is basically centered around three characters: Quicksilver, Magneto, and Wiccan and NOT the Young Avengers. Don't get me wrong, I know the Maximoffs need some love from a skilled right now, but I'd also like to see more of the characters I came to this series to read. Plus Magneto and Quicksilver can be frustrating characters. Especially when Magneto's claiming the only person more powerful than Doom is Wanda. Um, Jean Grey, anyone? Killed, like, a solar system full of people? Kind of like God right now?

Anyway, the plan from here is trying to decide how to get to Doom. Wiccan tries to break away to go to try it on his own, but ends up getting caught by Quicksilver and the YA, with Hulkling getting quite pissed about it. While I enjoy the fact that we're openly dealing with Teddy and Billy as a couple now, I'm not real fond of how much strain is being put on their relationship considering most of the romance was dealt with lightly. At least we get this squee-worthy image of them together in bed:

In the end, Wiccan decides to go it alone anyway, ends up finding a manipulated Wanda, and finds out she intends to marry him. And oh yeah, he shows up which spells out real fun times for the lone hero.

Conclusion: Good issue, but we could do with less Pietro and Magneto bitchery as well as a less tense Billy and Teddy considering we've barely seen any of the romance. I'd still say pick this one up.

X-Factor #211
Writer: Peter David
Artist: Emanuela Lupacchino
This X-Factor suffers from a lack of baby momma drama (I know, it's sad and sorry that I'm addicted to this storyline, but whatever, it influences the future of RicStar!). It's for the most part of a fight issue with Madrox, Shatterstar, and Longshot tackling zombie Asguardians to poor results.

Basically, it ends up looking bleak towards the end, in one of the most forced sounding moves I've heard in awhile Siryn apologizes to Madrox for breaking his finger way back when in issue #40 or near there. Finally, Thor shows up to save the day and we end on him deciding whether or not to help X-Factor against Hela.

Conclusion: Little happens this issue really, but it's not necessarily a bad issue. Just one that I'm not all that excited about. Still good though.

The List #41

Avengers Academy #5
Writer: Christos Gage
Artist: Jorge Molina
Striker receives the spotlight this issue and let me just say he is so much more interesting than that f#@%ing Mettle. Also, it's important to note that the artist for this issue was fucking hilarious and just added that much more to the joy, laughter, and fun of this issue.

Basically, Striker's the arrogant famewhore of the team, and this issue we learn where this all stems from....as he tells it to Jocasta. Who's in sleep mode. But could wake up at any time and listen in on all his secrets that he's spilling to her. Yeah, that's important later...

Striker's past rotates around his mother, who's had her 15 minutes of fame after being the other woman in a political sex scandal, who attempts to take the defibrillators to what she's already lost by making her son a child actor. This leads her to choosing a creeper agent who manages to get Striker and his mother parts. And also tries to molest Striker which triggers his powers....yeah, what a disturbing way to discover superpowers. From there he eventually finds himself with Osborn and then the A.A.

Back in the details of his past week, Striker recounts how he hit on Finesse and Veil. <---And here's the face he uses to seduce the girls. Surprisingly, they managed to turn down that sexy expression. Also, he, like many men, fails to realize his own over-inflated ego is functioning as a complete cockblock. Later on during that week Hank Pym takes the whole group out to see Wicked for a thinly veiled lesson about good deeds done by evil people and all that crap. He manages to get everyone in by shrinking both Mettle and Hazmat so that they don't cause a stir and also neglects to tell the other students they were there as well until after the show. All of the students react with surprise, but Veil's definitely wins the prize for most obnoxious/hilarious reaction. Seriously, this is my favorite face of the issue-->

After this, Whirlwind shows up to battle Pym which leads to the students joining the fight, and finally leads to the public outing of the Avengers Academy to the media. The outing goes over better than expected, and Veil goes to tell Justice, her teacher crush, all about it and ends up walking in on this:

This moment was so uncomfortable for so many reasons. One of them being that this looks more like Justice is drinking from a coconut with a wig on it than making out with a girl.
And here's Veil's reaction:

Crying over her crooked eyes.

Later on, "over" her crush on Justice, she goes to Striker's room, kisses him, and asks if he wants to hook up. He says sure and then that leads to this face--->

No, I'm kidding, that's just the look on his face that he gets from calling his mom.....no legit, pick up the issue, it's true. Anyway, Striker turns into a sudden gentleman and follows his sure with a claim that he's too tired and insists on just talking. Which is great because I'd rather not have my adorkable Veil tarnished by Striker and his insecure ego.

Following this he goes to call his mom. It turns out that the outing of the A.A. was all a plan devised by him and his mother, and the evidence of his evil plotting is revealed by the shadow mustache he gets while discussing this. Seriously, facial hair=how you know if someone's evil or not. Oh and also, keep in mind all this goes before Jocasta's seemingly vacant eyes. So yeah, Striker's finally got his famewhore wishes fulfilled by manipulation and luckily it makes for a good issue. I still think he's a carbon copy of New X-Men's Hellion though.

Uncanny X-Force #1
Writer: Rick Remender
Artist: Jerome Opena
So Uncanny X-Force has finally released and it's quite possibly the most 'badass' book with the most 'badass' team in the entire Marvel universe. And that's exactly why I feel ambivalently towards it.

Deadpool's the same as always in this book: Chattering away like a coke addict, grasping desperately for a joke that's actually funny. And then there's Fantomex who's playing the whole, "I'm quirky, lucid insane!" angle and also grasping desperately for jokes that are actually funny. And these two are a badass pair and Wolverine makes it EXTRA badass and the really dark Archangel makes this unbelievably DARKLY BADASS. I'd make a joke on this Testosterfest except Deadpool and Fantomex have basically fished that lake dry with their constant attempts at humor.

Concerning the only team member I really give a damn about, Psylocke, she's so far confirmed my fears about her role. Basically my concern was that with her being the token female of the group that her story would mostly be about serving the other men's stories as well as being the token female being fought over. Which really just, y'know, empowers her. So far I'm right on both counts, Fantomex has already expressed interest in her even though she's back with Warren. And concerning her resurrected relationship, it seems that she's using her psychic powers to help Warren deal with his Death persona. I mean, yes, as he was previously consistently on a team book he's already got a storyline that's in progress while Betsy's is sort of muddled with great writers taking stabs at it but never really keeping her long enough to really get something going with her. Still, I hope this sort of thing is simply for the opening issues and doesn't continue on from there.

Moving on, the art of this book is absolutely amazing and big draw for the book. I imagine those of you who've seen the preview know this already and I will just continue to say it's consistently amazing throughout the issue.

Anyway, I'm not going to run through the play-by-play of the issue because it's a lengthy first issue, but basically it has to do with X-Force trying to thwart the resurrection of Apocalypse and battling his horsemen and not really getting him and all that and oh yeah, now he's a kid. Yeah, strange. Also, his Horsemen look so much better this time around:

Conclusion: The art and events of this book so far are top-notch and worthy of the hype while the male team members leave something to be desired (but keep in mind I always think of them that way). And Betsy's role right now is iffy. But anyway, in the end I say pick up this book because it's looking to be joining X-Men Legacy in being one of the better X-Books.

The List 37

New Avengers #3
Writer: Brian Michael Bendis
Artist: Stuart Immomen
This. Issue. Is. So. Chatty.
To open, this issue the dimension of the world tears and all sorts of demons are let out. The New Avengers engage them in battle and from there it is a complete and total chat-fest. We learn crucial information about our heroes such as Ms. Marvel has never seen Ghostbusters. Normally casual dialogue during a fight scene would have been welcome, even entertaining, but considering the amount of it and who it was between made it excessive. Who was it between you now may wonder? Spider-Man and The Thing. I understand it's part of Spider-Man's 'thing' to yak like my Aunt Louise, but Bendis was beating us over the head with it this time. And of course, everything The Thing says annoys the piss out of me.

Meanwhile, Jessica had a solo battle scene as she attempted to get to the Avengers Mansion, and that was decent for what it was. Except she was going to get her fricking child who needs to make like Wanda's kids and disappear until its needed for a teen series. Also, in the end she got overwhelmed by the demons, but was saved by the timely arrival of Vicky Hand...

...And a massive fucking gun!!

Seriously, who'd she steal this thing off of, Cable in the 90's? Anyway, she's starting to prove she's actually useful to the team, and that's all well and good. Meanwhile, Iron Fist is trapped in a dimension of whiteout with two disembodied voices bickering over what they need to do to get the Eye of Agamotto from him. It's finally revealed that the person trying to get to the Eye as well as this arc's main villain is none other than Dr. Strange's former master/teacher/magic trainer guy. Oh noes!

Also during this issue the magic guys are in perpetual state of bitchery with each other over what needs to be done. They can't even get their shit together to quickly leave the fight scene to discuss what needs to be done. It seriously took so many word bubbles before they left, I can't believe one of the Avengers didn't turn around and bitch at them to knock it off. At the very least Daimon Hellstrom remained shirtless and in tight leather pants the whole time, so it wasn't a total waste of page time. Ohhhh just look at him pose all sexy-like.

Hey now, stop playing with your nipples while Dr. Strange is talking!

...On second thought, keep going. At least it's something new considering once the magic guys finally left they ended up having a conversation that only repeated what was gone on. It's like I said: This issue is CHATTY.

Conclusion: This issue was one of my 'more-fun-to-make-fun-of' issues. It was good in some parts...like the Daimon Hellstrom ones. He's just bucking to be my new comic book boyfriend considering my former boyfriend Warpath is now exiled to the terrifying void of character limbo. But seriously, this issue's excessive chatter will probably grate on your nerves, so beware.

Avengers Academy #3
Writer: Christos Gaga
Artist: Mike McKone
This issue opens by expanding on Hazmat's past and how her powers ruined her near-perfect life and how Osborn continued to screw it up. Which is foreshadowing of things to come.

Reptil finally got his kiss from Finesse this issue. It was weird, mainly because the way Finesse is so robotic about it makes her seem like she's doing it for money...ya know? And of course after that Stryker makes a comment on how there are a few things he hasn't tried, but luckily, Finesse is not interested.

The A.A. instructors (which I'm sure for a few of them works both ways) are having a themed week of having the students work with superheroes like Iron Fist and Valkyrie. The one to actually care about is Valkyrie's appearance talking to the girls because with it we get this revelation--->

Tygra's a feminist? Seriously? So now I have to take her seriously instead of just comparing her to Tyra Banks? Dammit. Oh well, I'm sure I'll have a problem with her brand of feminism, I already dislike that she's bringing up her status as a feminist as a nuisance. For f@#$'s sake, Ty-Ty, don't play to that 'annoying feminist' crap, half the people who are tired of it barely have a f$%ing clue what it's about. Someone who's got their shit right though is Valkyrie:

I love her for this!

I know, I'm male, I shouldn't side with female supremacy, but I'm a big supporter of women saying, 'I'll do it my goddamned self, useless male!' especially with that mindf#@% Twilight being as popular as it is. Anyway, might actually tune into the Valkyrie one-shot coming up next week if there's more independent woman-loving goodness in it.

Meanwhile it turns out there's a big 'Scared Straight' thing going on soon with the students visiting The Raft that houses the Thunderbolts as well as many supervillans including Normy Norm. With this, Hazmat is planning to go fuck Osborn's day up when they get to The Raft, and manages to get Veil and Mettle in on it. Also it seems we're going to be having 'A Very Special Avengers Academy' soon as it seems Speedball is still cutting to feel.

The A.A.'s tour of The Raft is sketchy to start off with. And by sketchy I mean it's lucky that the cell doors have no holes in them because it would've been Silence of the Lambs all over again. Ugh. Ghost and Juggernaut are brought in individually to talk to the students, and Ghost goes off ranting about 'THE MAN' and just serving to reinforce my dislike for those types (as a college goer I encounter them and their Che Guevara shirts frequently). Juggernaut is oddly straightforward and helpful which is surprising since I thought he was still in "IM EVIL AGAIN!" mode. Oh well, guess that means his power levels are all of a sudden reduced again as well....

From there she recognizes he's using his angsty Penance energy signature rather than his Speedball one. And with that another point goes to Dr. Karla Sofen.

It seems Moonstone was called in to evaluate the kids as a group through observation. She's less than helpful, but at least she gets a massive dig in at Speedball. I don't actually have anything against Robbie, I just bitches being bitchy. From there Hazmat causes a blackout where her, Mettle, and Veil sneak off to go visit Osborn, and that pretty much leads to the events of the connecting issue of Thunderbolts.

Conclusion, this issue is a bit of a letdown considering the previous issues, but it's still a decent one, especially the Valkyrie part.

Thunderbolts #147
Writer: Jeff Parker
Artist: Kev Walker
Did sales really plummet during Dark Reign or something? Because it seems there's a big push to get the Thunderbolts to mix it up with all the newer series as well as the latest crossover. I mean let's look at is: There's this issue with the A.A., the next two issues tie-in to Shadowland, and after that is a crossover between them and the Avengers. I know that even before Ellis' run, Thunderbolts has been a book that usually connects to other events going on in the MU (Civil War, Secret Invasion), but they generally stuck to one for at least an arc those times.

Returning to the cliffhanger of four Thunderbolts left to take on the creatures in the cave, it seems even in reduced numbers they can make short work of the creatures. A point of interest is Man-Thing saving Moonstone from one of the things with her saying, "I'll be staying on your good side." Yeah, and hoping Man-Thing doesn't remember that you were there when Ares chopped him in half I bet. (Speaking of my favorite god besides Jean, apparently Ares is getting resurrected soon! Yay comic book deaths!)

From there we get a brief look at the aftermath and then the next scene is directly after the blackout happens with the prisoners getting out. Songbird encounters trouble with this and Moonstone does the right thing:

Unfortunately, instead of Songbird and her bad haircut getting violently murdered by the overwhelming number of prisoners attacking her, the Troll girl they picked up last issue ends up helping her and saving the day. As if I didn't already dislike this 'raised-in-the-wild!!' character as it was, now she's just adding fuel to the hate fire by helping the ever-annoying Songbird. You can bet Moonstone and I were less than thrilled by those results (Moonstone's reaction being actually on-panel, but you can bet I was reacting the same off-panel). Meanwhile, you'll never guess who gets out (not kidding):

Purple Man!
This is some serious shit because if you haven't read Alias, let me inform you Purple Man is a seriously sick fuck and he messed with Jessica in one of the worst ways possible.

Cage then responds by taking on every guy who Purple Man is controlling with Purple Man afterwards simply telling Cage that he can just take him over. However, it seems Cage has nanites in him specifically designed to block him out, and then he fucking headbutts that asshole! Jessica married a good man *sniff*.

U.S. Agent is also having trouble with prisoners, especially with them thinking nothing of him as he's now without two limbs. In response the man gets out of his wheelchair and personally fucks up the day of every one of those assholes. This would be his victory pose-->

Meanwhile we get more reformed Juggernaut crap as it seems he helps two prisoners break out, but it's revealed he just led them to the jellyfish defenses. In the end, everything's recovered, no one dies which means Hazmat doesn't end up killing Osborn next issue like she had planned (not much of a spoiler there).

Conclusion: Definitely an improvement from last issue, but Songbird not dying was definitely a minus. Someday Moonstone and I will have our wishes come true, but until then Melissa lives to annoy another day.

Opening Thoughts: Avengers Academy

Writer: Christos Gage
Artist: Mike McKone
Today I was flipping through a Wizard magazine I got back in 2006, and I started to reminisce about the amazing comics that came out that year. One of the features of that issue was a review of all the X-Books which happened to have New X-Men in it, and it hit me how much I really miss those characters. In general I just miss having a teen comic book in my pull list because they're usually well-done and with Childrens Crusade being bi-monthly I need something more frequent.

Well, my wishes were answered when I remembered a comment reader Mtti had left about trying out Avengers Academy, and I also remembered that so far it seems to have impressed people even getting a recommendation from The Buy Pile. I admit I was initially hesitant about this title because I'm already in love with the Young Avengers, so I feel like I'm cheating on them if I turn to another teen Avengers book. However, I decided to try it out, and my conclusion is I'm 100% on board with this book especially since it seems it has answered my cry for the return of New X-Men in a way....we'll get to that in just a sec.

The Avengers Academy begins with the idea that these students have been chosen as the young superhumans with the most potential to become tomorrow's Avengers. However, at the end of the first issue it is revealed that this is actually a lie made up by the senior staff to give these students a break as the truth is they're really considered to be the young superhumans who are either the most dangerous or at greatest risk of becoming villains. This is also due to the fact that all of these character had interaction with Osborn during Dark Reign and in some cases he screwed them up in a terrible way.

The senior staff generally have checkered pasts themselves (though I'm not familiar with all of them). Remember when I bitched that the current Avengers team have no variation and need to explain all the character in Limbo? Here be the dumping grounds for the excess. Leading them is the ever-redeeming founding Avenger, Hank Pym, who is your out-of-touch dad figure. When Finesse approaches him about her concerns about not fitting in, he decides to have her watch a video on Quicksilver alone and then follows up afterwards asking what she thought about it. How middle-aged, no-idea-how-to-talk-to-kids is that? No complaints here, I totally laughed when he did that, and I'm looking forward to the day he warns the kids of the "life-damaging effects" of marijuana. Anyway, let's meet the rest of the staff:

It seems Speedball has now done his penance for what went on in Stamford, CT during Civil War (ohhh the punning). Anyway, he's done ripping off costume ideas from Soul Calibur's Voldo and back to wearing his old costume while still sporting the fragile psyche of his recent appearances. He's hardly bouncing off the walls like he used to, but at least he's not cutting himself to feel anymore.

There's also Tigra who I am now calling Tygra (as in Tyra Banks) due to her looking even more model-esque in this series especially with the hair. Also, I'd like to mention the my spell check corrects me when I put in Tigra, but not when I put in Tygra. Obviously it's a sign from Jean. By the way, if any of the brats are sent home she'd better be the one to send them. In an exaggerated. over-emphasized. way. Seriously, it'd be a crime if she didn't; I'd simply believe there is no Jean Grey. Also on staff is Quicksilver who, like his dad, is good again, and is now snarky on such a level that I have trouble buying his heterosexuality. Like this is some drag queen-level snark. Oh and the last staff member is Justice who I don't know. Moving on, let's chat about the students:

Now remember how I said my New X-Men wishes were answered? It's because these characters bear an interesting similarity to the New X-Men. Someone else actually saw this too [Here], but I believe my version is better because A. I got the whole New X-Men team besides Dust (who can just be added on to Veil's) and B. it's my idea. Realize these comparisons are just for fun, I'm not criticizing Gage or calling him unoriginal because I'm certain these characters will be expanded on to be very different. I'm just noting an enjoyable initial similarity. Moving on, introducing the students of the Avengers Academy:

Veil a.k.a. Madeline Berry
Which New X-Man is she? Mercury (and partially Dust)

Why? An awkward redheaded teenage girl who as a crush on an unattainable guy and whose power includes transforming from solid to another state of matter. And for Dust, they both have powers that turn them into flowing particles and also have been tampered with so that they'll kill them eventually (thought Dust's problem was sort of resolved).

The first issue is through Maddy's perspective in all her awkwardness, and immediately I find her adorkable. While characters like Cessily have been simply social awkward, Maddy on the other hand is a total nerd and a lovable one at that. She's got a total innocent, notebook-doodling crush on her teacher, Justice, and compares him to Rob Pattinson. While typically any reference to Twilight would tick me off, Gage does it in a way that endears Maddy to the reader. Also, she's physically awkward as well as socially, and it makes her so much more relatable. In this case it's because she's flat-chested which I LOVE because I have a lot of female friends (who all talk about their breasts at one point or another) and they generally fall into two types: either well-endowed to the point where they've considered surgery or in the A-Cup range and pissed about it. Also, a flat-chested superhero is more believable because there is no way the many well-endowed women of the Marvel universe could have breasts that big and not have severe back problems especially considering their line of work. Anyway, Maddy is an awkward, lovable mess and my current favorite.

Hazmat a.k.a. Jennifer Takeda
Which New X-Man is she? Surge

Why? An asian teenager with a bad attitude and superpower that requires her to wear something or she'll cause harm to the people around her.
So far Hazmat's panel time has been limited so it's hard to figure out how I feel about her. So far it's in the "meh" area though considering her attitude.

Reptil a.k.a. Humberto Lopez
Which New X-Man is he? Elixir

Why? So far appears to be generally good guy whose wrestling with dark things that he's both experienced.
Glad to see someone from the previous series Avengers: The Initiative being used. Not because I read it, but because character Limbo sucks. So far he hasn't been worked with much in the series since he's already had some spotlight and apparently just recently had it in Enter the Heroic Age #1. However, he did have a moment last issue where it was revealed he hasn't kissed a girl yet, and it lead to an entertaining moment with Finesse. I'm sure his romantic inexperience and following awkwardness is going to play a part in his story again somewhere down the road, and I'm so in for that.

Striker
Which New X-Man is he? Hellion

Why? An arrogant showoff with a desperate need to be the center of attention.
The similarity here is so strong it's ridiculous. Actually, you know how in Christianity, Eve was created by God taking one of Adam's ribs and making her out of it? In this case Striker was created by Jean Grey taking Hellion's hands and making him out of it.
So far his being an egomaniac has served to irritate me, but he's also proven to be smart enough to recognize the students need to play along even though they've found out the truth about their purpose. He reasons that in the Heroic Age, rejects like them are less tolerable, and it becomes a more glaring problem for them to either prove themselves as heroes or be considered a villain. Which totally makes sense to me.

Mettle a.k.a. Ken Mack
Which New X-Man is he? Rockslide

Why? A teenager with a power that gives him a weird appearance and makes him physically numb.
While Rockslide changed his rock form every five seconds without seeming to give a shit, Mettle is aware of and insecure about his appearance which is a much more believable take. He also seems to be more intelligent than Rockslide considering when Speedball's appearance was met by uncertainty from his classmates he noticed that Speedball was the perfect person to be teaching them. His reasoning was that considering Robbie's been through redeeming himself after a dark period it makes for a relatable topic considering the team has all been manipulated by Osborn.

Finesse a.k.a. Jeanne Foucault
Which New X-Man is she? X-23

Why? Team badass who's the most likely to turn evil, and also has severe difficulty interacting with others due to her trouble with emotions. Intelligent and able to recite information word-for-word from memory.
The second issue is told more from Finesse's perspective and you'll probably find yourself having ambivalent feelings about her like I do. Her skill is that she's a "polymath" which I've just translated to team know-it-all. And of course, know-it-alls can be extremely annoying especially their insensitivity and that crap. The thing is I feel like the readers are supposed to dislike her initially, and then realize they love her later on when she's redeemed. She's not altogether terrible; so far she's called Striker out for his manly posturing and has had some honest moments about her being frustrated over not understanding people to the point where she wonders if she has Asberger's syndrome. Which is perfect for a comic book because odds are a decent amount of us are intelligent but have difficulty fitting in or just understanding how people interact. It definitely speaks to me in a very big way. Anyway, last issue she also had a good moment where she tried to interact with Pym by using what she's learned of student-teacher interactions by watching Maddy and Justice and accidentally ended up hitting on Pym. It was an awkwardly good time. Oh and now she's blackmailing Quicksilver into mentoring her on what he learned while in The Brotherhood. By the way, if you don't see the similarity between her and Laura, here's some additional evidence with Finesse's old costume being revealed to pretty much be Laura's old New X-Men costume.

Avengers Academy is only two issues into its run right now with the second issue having just released last Wednesday so if this post has given you an interest in trying out this series then know that it's still a great time to get on board.