Writer: Matt FractionArtist: Terry Dodson
To start, I would like to say that the variant cover of this issue is infinitely more exciting than the default one. Two characters I love in a fight done by Bianchi? Truly wonderful. I was hoping that this was a preview of a battle to come within this issue, but sadly, not so much. No, this issue was pretty battle-free for the most part because we had to make way for copious amounts of speeches.
This issue begins with Norman and Ravier (shock of all predictable shocks, the Xavier of the Dark X-Men is Mystique) talking about solving this solution, stoppinggg the....violenceee......zzzz. With the addition of recapping the action of last issue. Which we already saw. Which is a repetitive page filler. Oh and Cyclops got away and Colossus gets saved by Iceman from Venom. That's 6 pages that could've been done in 1 or 2. Seriously, save the recap for the recap page if it's really needed. Which by the way, features Emma Frost's box as the shitty facelift one I was mentioning last review.
The Beast and Xavier are talking in their cells. And Dark Beast appears. It's not all that interesting.
We return to Osborn and apparently he's the one who picked out all of Emma's Dark X-Men. all besides Namor that is (we get a full page of him showering in Dark X-Men: The Beginning #1, I fucking love it). The team is made of Mimic, Namor, Emma, Ravier as PR, Daken, Cloak, D-List Dazzler: Dagger, and Weapon Omega who's hopefully disposable. Here's some Fraption I do enjoy:
Drug addicts! I fucking love that that's included.
This is just annoying. Mimic, accept your has-been status like David Hasseloff and so many others, and get a reality show or competition show. I'm seriously hoping with such a big cast in Dark Reign that we can get a little death-heavy on the characters who are truly pathetic.
Next is Emma's speech. Which is boring. And takes up space. And introduces three needed details: A. Emma's speaking out against Cyclops publicly B. The curfew C. There's a holding place for unruly mutants. Could've been done in one page, reactions and all, but we got 3 pages plus Trask's thing. The thing with speeches here is that we all know that they're BS. So why not cut them down to relevant details rather than boring people? During the speech, we get cameo queen time:
All we see of them besides a backside shot later.
Apparently Hellion's got a group to support his QQ-ripoff riot. Take a look:
This issue begins with Norman and Ravier (shock of all predictable shocks, the Xavier of the Dark X-Men is Mystique) talking about solving this solution, stoppinggg the....violenceee......zzzz. With the addition of recapping the action of last issue. Which we already saw. Which is a repetitive page filler. Oh and Cyclops got away and Colossus gets saved by Iceman from Venom. That's 6 pages that could've been done in 1 or 2. Seriously, save the recap for the recap page if it's really needed. Which by the way, features Emma Frost's box as the shitty facelift one I was mentioning last review.
The Beast and Xavier are talking in their cells. And Dark Beast appears. It's not all that interesting.
We return to Osborn and apparently he's the one who picked out all of Emma's Dark X-Men. all besides Namor that is (we get a full page of him showering in Dark X-Men: The Beginning #1, I fucking love it). The team is made of Mimic, Namor, Emma, Ravier as PR, Daken, Cloak, D-List Dazzler: Dagger, and Weapon Omega who's hopefully disposable. Here's some Fraption I do enjoy:
Drug addicts! I fucking love that that's included.
This is just annoying. Mimic, accept your has-been status like David Hasseloff and so many others, and get a reality show or competition show. I'm seriously hoping with such a big cast in Dark Reign that we can get a little death-heavy on the characters who are truly pathetic.
Upgrade much?
And now all the Emma-haters are going to have a big fit since this is now canon. Even though, Emma was introduced as a rival to Xavier as a telepath. I still don't like the omega idea, but she should be close to him in power. This is fan fiction in my opinion, so forget it ever happened once it ends.
Next is Emma's speech. Which is boring. And takes up space. And introduces three needed details: A. Emma's speaking out against Cyclops publicly B. The curfew C. There's a holding place for unruly mutants. Could've been done in one page, reactions and all, but we got 3 pages plus Trask's thing. The thing with speeches here is that we all know that they're BS. So why not cut them down to relevant details rather than boring people? During the speech, we get cameo queen time:
All we see of them besides a backside shot later.
Who the fuck is Meld? Whatever, I'm thrilled to see Lorelai again even though she's basically D-list Medusa. Who's a "dancer". Meaning stripper. Not shaming her though, get your money how you want.
Adam X. Surfer bro. 90's revivalist.
Seriously Adam, now that you're not the 3rd Summer brother you could not be any more obsolete. And fuck his stupid bros thing. I cannot stand "bros" bullshit.
Adam X. Surfer bro. 90's revivalist.
Seriously Adam, now that you're not the 3rd Summer brother you could not be any more obsolete. And fuck his stupid bros thing. I cannot stand "bros" bullshit.
Moving on, Hellion moves his group to protest in the streets. And he apparently is teaming up with Moonstone to steal Emma's personality while also continuing to ripoff Morrison's New X-Men:
He's just missing a sentence.
Oh how I miss the old Frost.
He's just missing a sentence.
Oh how I miss the old Frost.
Personality-flat Emma is irking me since she missed a golden opportunity to say, "Quickly now everyone, plunge yourselves in Cloak's chest!" The Dark X-Men show to stop the riot and I noticed that Dagger is a needle and thread away from wearing Emma's Gen X costume. Seriously, her slits are the only difference.
And in the ending moments, we see Emma arrest Julian, but not before getting in a good hit.
Because Emma's abusive personality must be fed regularly.
And in the ending moments, we see Emma arrest Julian, but not before getting in a good hit.
Because Emma's abusive personality must be fed regularly.
Overall, the issue is bland bland bland. Fraction's writing problems are already pointed out. And Dodson, as I've mentioned, is not my BFF when it comes to being an artist for Uncanny. Pick this issue up if you abolutely need your crossover complete. Otherwise, leave this highly forgettable issue.
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