Uncanny X-Men #507

Writer: Matt Fraction
Artist: Terry Dodson
I need to post a review about the latest issue in my comic book pile, Uncanny X-men #507. (I wrote this a month ago, decided it was better for this blog)

For a summary, look it up. Why? Because I'd link one, but can't find one easily so screw it.

To start, overall this issue is actually a sort-of improvement from the last few. The art is standard, Terry Dodson is good but nothing fascinating. They should be using their best, but they settle for fair.

Writing compliments and complaints:

Science club with Beast being its [cheer]leader. Mundane. The manly men who surround Beast and Archangel are so very....mennish. So very mundane. I'm so glad Psylocke is getting stuck with them because she will likely dominate the story. Beast going "OMG ARCHANGELZ AGAIN?!" Absolutely annoying and pointless. In a world that's constantly "changing," you know Beast would be like, "So, how'd this happen again?....Right, right. Ok. Coffee?"

Hisako and Pixie's appearance? Pointless cameos. Much like Karma and Dazzler's. Shouldn't they be used in a way that can't be filled by just anybody?

On the positive side, Madam Mayor was not the annoying tick she usually is. But Cyclops was up to his pseudo-badass ways again so it sort of evened out that good point.

And Colossus. Poor dear, now he's got a tattoo he has to carry in shame, Fraction has marked him for death. Seriously, there are no words that are going to correctly explain my annoyed feelings with Fraction's Colossus.

The end was absolutely mindless. "Erik?" "No. MAGNETO!" ...Oh dear, I hope my subscription runs out before this terribly original arc comes about.

If you have issue with my repetitive feelings on the Fraction issues then complain to Marvel to get him out of the position and put me in.
...What? I guarantee correct use of characters, limited badass moments and when they do occur it won't be to feed my insecurities in my masculinity, no science club, FEMINISM!!! Actual feminism, not a woman saying "WE'RE EQUAL!" for a second and then getting changed into some scraps of costume, and that I will demand better artists.


So we'll talk about my favorite fictional character in the universe. Here is where I am going to scrutinize every detail because I love and know Emma Frost. Know meaning I can tell if she's being written wrong. First, why does Emma just stand in front of the car? Distraction? I doubt it was really needed. Next is "You're never alone" blurb. Emma Frost does not express affection in a very obvious way. She rarely lets her guard down and for the most part her affection is a tidal wave of backhanded compliments. Stop Jeanifying her. Even worse was when she stopped Peter from killing Tattoo man. Emma doesn't care if people like that die. Why? Because she's killed some of them.

I liked seeing her hit people though, Fraction, you do make me happy for this especially since Emma is seen being helpless in Astonishing currently.

Now as for Emma and Shaw's interaction. This is probably the first time I've seen Emma as she really is in quite awhile. I like that she tortured Shaw. I don't like where she chose to concentrate. Sentinels and Genosha? Really? That's more appropriate for Cassie Nova. She worked for him for years. Likely had sex with His Fugliness. He treated her like some whore most of the time. I think Sentinels is way too big a stretch in this case. Still, yay torture from Emma.

And for next issue, I can only imagine what horrible images will come from it via Greg Land's talentless photoshop porn tricks. The finger in the mouth thing is the most ridiculous. Seriously, how horribly objectified must women be? Seriously, Marvel's taking a hit in sales and X-Men are definitely losing top team to the Avenger and one would think that in order to, y'know, MAKE MONEY, Marvel would reappraise their talent. Greg Land is a hated artist. Get. Him. Out. How dumb do you have to be to keep such a crap artist around?

Back Issue: New X-Men #156

Writer: Chuck Austen
Artist: Salvador Larroca
For this bit, I'm going back in time and returning to the very last New X-Men before that team became Astonishing. Now while Chuck Austen has screwed up a lot of things X-Men-wise, I don't consider "Bright New Mourning" to be a mess, just potentially unnecessary.

Basic summary: Emma and the Cuckoos along with mutants and the mayor or owner of the Salem X-Corp are all trapped in said building. Beast and Cyclops argue about how Beast thinks Cyclops is too impulsive and moved on too fast. They go to rescue Emma and Germaine, Mindee's new boyfriend starts a fire to make things worse since the mob outside was breaking in. And he dies. And Emma says to Scott that she's starting a school with or without him. Scott goes to consult Jean's grave and talks about getting things set up to go to Astonishing.

My thoughts are this: I liked this issue because we get to see Emma yell at people a lot and insult them. Not much else happens, the Cuckoos are doing their act of "Miss Frost we don't like you" which is tired. There was an unrealistic moment in there where Cyclops gets shot in the arm and then catches diamond Emma falling three stories. Even at his strongest, catching Emma from that height would likely kill the almighty shit out of his arms.

The art in this issue is crud. Emma has a weird six pack which is yet another portrayal of her in a manly way despite the fact that it's stated often that she is DROP DEAD GORGEOUS. Overall it is kind of awkward and simple and just looks rushed.

Overall: Nothing spectacular. Good if you like hearing Emma bitch up a storm. And to see her bitch at a Storm refer to X-Treme X-Men. I only bought it to sort of complete my New X-Men collection since I'm getting New X-Men Volume 3 and that would make me only need New X-Men Annual 2001 to complete my collection.

Secret Invasion: Dark Reign

Writer: Brian Michael Bendis
Artist: Alex Maleev
To start, I read a lot of comic books, but do not have people to converse with about them since other comic book readers do not usually read the ones I do (mainly X-Men). So I have a lot to say with no one to say it too. Part of this blog that will be devoted to comic book criticism which will likely relate a lot to Emma Frost.

Anyway, this week's comic book is the one-shot Secret Invasion: Dark Reign. The only reason why I picked it up will be about the only part I'm critiquing very closely is: Emma Frost.

This issue begins with Emma in dreamland-ish landscape which is basically Emma in the Sentry's mind again meaning just white around her. But poorer art. Good to show that Emma has continued guilt over Kitty's death since certain writers seem to forget just because the guilt is addressed once does not mean it just went away.

She then wakes up and gets a telegram inviting her to Avengers Tower. She has a snipe-y moment, first time in awhile where it feels real since Fraction writes her to basically be a spoiled brat on Uncanny. She flies over to Avengers Tower and meets Doom in a basement meeting room where he acts like he's amazing. His narcissism is tired and this is only the 5th issue I've ever read with him in it. One problem with it is Emma's response to Doom after he says he's too almighty to be mind read is "Yeah. Okay." Emma Frost's way of speaking is very controlled, she glorifies being remarkable, so instead she would say something like "Whatever you say, darling."
A simple 'Yeah. Okay.' just sounds idiotic.

Then she meets Namor. Who's being drawn to look a dirty middle-aged man and apparently has a hearing problem. The Hood appears after, Emma displays that she does not care that people around her want privacy in their own heads and I absolutely love it. Then the dumbass points the gun on her, he seems really boringly over the edge, so she lets him know who's boss, favorite moment in the issue.

Loki appears followed by Norman Osbourne. He explains what's happened since Secret Invasion which is good since I do not give a damn, Secret Invasion was drawn out for way too long and seemed REALLY fucking boring. I promise I will not say boring half as many times next review. Either way, he talks a lot about nothing I cared about. Emma explains she's different, she doesn't have a kingdom she lost, then the endangered issue of mutants is brought up and Osbourne calls her the White Queen. Except that hasn't been for a LONG time now. Osbourne explains her being there keeps the mutants from being in concentration camps and she needs to make 'bold moves' which is vague and not really a reason, she can make bold moves elsewhere.

Then Osbourne continues speechifying. He walks around behind each of them, Emma's specific panel make her seems like she's getting some under the table and is just a really unlikely pose she'd make no matter how sexual she may be. Then everyone leaves. The rest I did not read since I can barely keep interest in the issue without Emma in it, egotistical men=snooze fest. Emma has the dream again and wakes up screaming, Scott does not even wake up. Fin.

Art-wise: Alex Maleev was really unremarkable, a step above the horrible artist that did Wolverine Origins when Emma appeared. In terms of colors, there were mainly light colors which does not go with the villain theme; dark colors or a lot of contrast would have worked better. The pencils seem scratchy and Emma just looks like any other blonde chick. She isn't, she should look very fierce. At least she did not have that horrible white tranny makeup that too many artists think works for her. But the light makeup with pink lips isn't her either, she'd likely had a dark upper lid and eyeliner defined lower one along with a red-pink lipstick.

Overall: Good for the parts with Emma, but the art just made the issue drag on in a really mundane way. I could have lived without owning the issue.