Tuesday, September 22, 2009

The List #9

Dark Avengers #9
Writer: Brian Michael Bendis
Artist: Mike Deodato

To start, I almost 'gasmed when I saw that DA was returning to it's regular talents considering Fraction ruined DA for me for TWO MONTHS. Seriously the BMB plus Deodato team is Marvel's strongest pairing. Even stronger than Cyclops and Wolverine's secret love. Mhmm, that hardcore.

This issue centers around Ares and the disappearance of his son with only a few pages dedicated to anything else. It was far from the best issue and I'd hoped for more considering it's Ares. And. Ok. I have to come out of yet another closet: I am an Ares fan. Not anywhere near how obsessed I am with Emma Frost, but I do look forward to an Ares appearance in the titles I read. Also, I generally hate most of the Marvel male characters. No joke.

Anyway, this issue included a battle with Nick Fury's Secret Warriors, and apparently there is a member codenamed Hellfire! Which I feel ambivalent about; if he appears in anything else I read I can always call him me and make jokes about him doing diva things like me, but then again if he sucks then I can't make up a Hellfire for when I join the Marvel writers. Oh don't laugh, it'll happen.

More important observation, I imagine that this is not true for all characters, but do you give some of the characters you read unique voices? If yes, am I the only one that thinks Ares' voice would sound like Goldar from Power Rangers? Seriously, if Marvel Ultimate Alliance 3 is about Dark Reign (which would be IDEAL) then they'd best call in the voice of Goldar.

I love DA gossip. I love the Dark Avengers period.
Also, I've heard multiple bitchings that the DA is made up of a bunch of Z, D, or C-Listers. K, listen. I know nothing about Daredevil past the movie and I know who Bullseye is. I barely know Spiderman, but I know the Scorpion and of course, Venom. They may not be A-List, but I'd give most of them B-List.

By the way, look at that pic again for me. Do you see a pattern? I do, it's called the Bald Conspiracy! Seriously, Osborn just loves recruiting bald men! Or men who will go bald or men who're mostly bald.

I love that the DA discuss the events in their own books since it shows everything's connected even in this very drawn out event with no main book. And their snark is hilarious, I have to side with Moonstone, Deadpool is fucking annoying and I only like him in small doses. Sorry Deadpool fans.
Final note: Issue ends with the Sentry possibly being shot and killed. Fan service? Seriously, fuck the Sentry. Oh and buy this issue if you are a consistent DA lover but leave it on the stands until next month if you're short on cash.

Dark Reign: Young Avengers #4
Writer: Paul Cornell
Artist: Mark Brooks

Hate the cover. Hate Skankasaurus trying to seduce Wiccan even though it had him protesting because he's gay. Which is probably the first time he's EVER said he's gay with the gay word. Or close enough.

This issue irritated me. The dialogue all over is the most awkward I've ever read and barely makes sense. Cornell is probably going to do something dramatic for the fifth and thankfully final issue of this series and I am so hoping it does not put the YA in a beyond repair state like what happened to the Runaways. This is essentially YA lite. All of the characters plus thirty more with no one having any personality. Lastly, as if Kate Bishop's, aka Hawkeye, glasses can really cover up her identity. Just cause you've got shades doesn't make you unrecognizable. But yet again I'm trying to make sense of a nonsensical limited series. Conclusion: Don't buy any of this series. And to brighten the mood, here's Hulkling and Wiccan:

X-Factor #48
Writer: Peter David
Artist: Valentine De Landro

This issue was disappointingly lackluster and mundane. I only have a couple things to say: Where was Longshot all issue. I'm pretty sure all he did was cameo queened on the cover in the reflection of the sunglasses. That and I LOVE senile Doom. He makes the future crap more bearable. Love that Siryn's lack of accent was mentioned and that she used it again. Andddd yet again Ricstar was confined to one-panel cameo queening. Leave this one on the shelves.

X-Men Legacy Annual #1

Writer: Mike Carey
Artist: Daniel Acuna

This issue was generally fine. It's yet again Carey as of this past year: good but you know he could being fucking amazing. High points though:

He almost gave me hope for a second that Emma's diamond problem was only going to be respected in Uncanny. Too bad. Anywho, I love hearing reference to the telepaths since they're usually my favorite characters. Also, who responded to Jeffries? I'm assuming the Cuckoos considering they said "we're" but still.

Oh and in the fight that followed with Emplate? Emma was TOTALLY dismissed! Seriously, no panel of her fighting. And then when the team was briefed on Emplate she was shown in the flashback with Penance but she did no talking despite her having the most experience with Emplate. That and I hope Bling! dies just because I've never loved her and I love the second story featuring Gambit. Buy this one if you've got extra cash.


FSaker said...

Hey, Mr. Hellfire! Nice reviews! But...

1) Won't you please give us more details about Gambit's story in X-Men Legacy? What does he do? What happens to him?

2) Still about X-Men Legacy, how could Madison Jeffries call the telepaths and forget to call his own teammate, PSYLOCKE?? Okay, it seems her telepathic powers are still weaker due to the telekinetic ones, but still... BTW, does she appear at all in this issue?

3) Regarding the Dark Avengers issue, does the amazing Ms. Victoria Hand do anything else besides using her cellphone while the Dark Avengers talk? Does she get any lines at all?

Well, that's it. Thanks for the attention!

Mr. Hellfire said...

Thanks and

1. Gambit goes to steal back something that is the X-men's. The people there are superpowered and Gambit takes them down, but there's one guy who's telepathic and brings out the Death persona which makes Gambit out of control. Then he just leaves as normal Gambit. It's essentially a teaser story.

2. Exactly, Betsy probably has less range than three super-juiced telepaths so Jeffries would think to go for his best chance. And I don't think so, I haven't checked yet since my cameo queens updating has been on hold for a little while.

3. I think there's a few more, but not very many more than what you see in the previews.