Thursday, August 20, 2009

The List #7

X-Men Legacy #227
Writer: Mike Carey
Artist: Dustin Weaver

X-Men Legacy this month was sort of meh. It's Carey, I expect f#@%ing magic with him, so it's especially disappointing when he puts out a half-baked story like this one. There is something Carey has done perfect though. You probably saw it coming but:

Ariel is the gayest thing to happen to the X-Men, even Daz and Northstar together can't match her. Seriously, Carey, I plan this to be the last issue of Legacy I include on my blog unless you get another Emma-centric issue in, BUT if you continue to include Ariel I promise I will fucking sing your praise like no other.
More on Ariel, I had a dream last night that I Wikipedia-ed her and the entry said she was transgendered. Weird, yes, but it's a goddamned delicious idea. Seriously, Ariel as a male-to-female transgendered person would just be HEAVEN. If I ever get a Marvel comic team book, Ariel is so going to be revealed to be trans and she will be a fan favorite.

Going back to the issue. Danger was plain and unimportant. The story concerning Hope Abbott was so cheesy it could've been one of those blurbs at the end of Sailor Moon where one of the Sailor scouts is like, "If you and a friend don't get along, try to calmly work things out, it's not worth losing a friend over! See you soon!"

What deserves noting is that Moonstone is more like herself under Carey than she is in Reed's f#@%ing Ms. Marvel. Just zapped a bitch in the face without a thought!

Summary, this 2-issue Utopia tie-in was sort of lame. Except for Ariel, she's divine. I know I sound hard on Carey, but the thing is I've seen him do better. A LOT BETTER. And this is shit next to his other work. So Mike Carey, please get back to being Mike Carey for us, your fans.

X-Factor #47
Writer: Peter David
Artist: Valentine De Landro

To start, Peter David, thank you for not making Fitzroy a resurrection, but him before he traveled back in time and all that. Resurrections are ridiculous lately and we SO don't need another. Something that needs addressing about this issue though is the villains dominate too much spotlight time. I'm honestly so bored I just skim the villain's part. It's confusing. By the time I do get what's going on, I realize I don't care. And don't forget for a second: the cast is fucking huge. Do we really need to have more and more people getting involved? Which also can be aimed at the addition of Fitzroy. To an already overpacked cast. Despite his talent, David just is not managing this plus sized cast well anymore.

As for the Ricstar update, it was brief and unfulfilling like a quick handjob in the back of someone's car. Seriously, Rictor had more serious conversations with one-nighter Rahne. Let's talk it up, boys!

Dr. Doom this issue was love. My love for him is like my love for Joan Crawford. I don't love them when they're in their prime and in full power. I love them when they're losing their power because their aging and it also causes their mind to go fruit loops. Seriously, Doom's farewell parade in his mind was David gold.
Of other note, the cast seems to have gotten so big that all the other characters that don't get love in the issue are becoming cameo queens. Darwin this issue? Pure cameo queen. Longshot might've taught him the basics considering he was married to our Mistress of Momentary Manifestations (and I thought calling her Diva was fun). Even worse was Siryn because this was her all issue.

Also, it seems David is picking up another dangling thread by mentioning that Shatterstar and Longshot have similar DNA or something to the point of....we never found out. Check out next issue though, we're probably going to hear that Shatterstar is the gay son of Dazzler and Longshot. Which I would lose my f#@%ing mind over in celebration. Dazzler? Mom of a gay? I'm for that!

OH and Monet recovers from the mind control and fights the villain naked. Mmm, yummy. I'd be all over that if I were straight. The issue ended with a mandatory 'revelation' that this series is pulling too often with less and less shock factor. Seriously David dear, end off an issue with a simple 'Oh shit' sometimes, it doesn't always have to get sub-soap opera-y.

Mighty Avengers
Writer: Dan Slott
Artist: Khoi Pham

To begin, I picked this out to keep tabs on Young Avengers activity. And now I regret it. But I am glad that Cassie and Vision might no longer on the team because honestly that would be like the trimming off the fat of the team. I swear I feel so annoyed with Cassie it's like she's practically become a devout Christian that goes around with their nose in the air.

The issue was dry. The art was unappealing. The characters in the fight scene were men doing the same old philosophy of nations dance that is nothing new. at least we had this woman:

In closing, don't expect to see MA on this blog again, so not worth my time to even read, let alone review. BUT I do have to say, this panel of Scarlet Witch is one the most beautiful I've ever seen.

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