Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Uncanny X-Men #510 Review

Writer: Matt Fraction
Artist: Greg Land
This issue begins with Armor, X-23, and Pixie fleeing from the Sisterhood's attack for their own safety. Meaning Wolverine's lackeys who either reference him by speaking of him or by presence alone all the time. Where the hell's Lackey Idol when you need it? We'll consider Kitty and Jubilee the first two eliminated. Anyway, let's get the position of Logan's lackey down to one X-Tween. It's a recession, we need to cut down on our excesses!

Next we find Emma in the almighty White Hot Room or close enough with Jean Grey. The funny thing about this scene?

I actually think she looks pretty here. But that goes to hell when she gets replaced by the love child of Pam Anderson and Amanda Lepore:

While I was thrilled to see Jean again, I wasn't thrilled to see her naked. Thanks for the female objectification, Greg! Luckily, Jean Grey, much like Barbra Walters, managed a soft glow so she was never truly shown.

The horrible trainwreck that is Fraction trying to write Emma continued when Emma got up and criticized Lady M's costume. FRACTION LOOK OVER HERE:

Since her re-introduction, I've said Lady M is a white trash version of Emma and I did this with their similar tastes in costumes in mind. Lady M's costume is actually better than Emma's old one. It was an eyesore, but it was the price we had to pay for a well-written Emma. That and Emma's practically wearing that costume again considering she's in her bra and panties during the smackdown. All she needs are some knee-high platforms and arm-length arm-warmers and she's back to Morrison era. And here's some gems from Fraction:

I do not understand why writers have to have Emma say shocking things referring to taking a shit since it falls flatter than Emma's original chest. And secondly, FRACTION: JEAN IS MOMMA MUTATION! Emma is Auntie Emma. As in the alcoholic sister to your mom who lives a racy lifestyle that makes it so your mother can only see her twice a year? See how well that fits for Jean as Momma and Emma as Auntie?? Lastly, I can only imagine how many people Carol Danvers is going to beat up for identity theft when she gets back after the Moonstone incident. Anyone who's even just used her name in the bedroom is going to get a super-fist in the face.

Does this confirm Julian's death in an upcoming X-Force? Because it looks like he willed away his personality to Elixir since he didn't have one. And Cuckoos, de-perma smile and stop with the teenage hoe routine! Oh by the way, Land, thanks for lengthening their hair and slimming their waists due to their not being pretty enough. You, sir, truly create healthy and realistic depictions of women.

I hate to say it, but I found these panels absolutely gorgeous. The cackling Empath being my favorite. Well, minus those emergency red lights that confused the fuck out of me the entire issue, what a pointless piece of crap that was.

Recycled image time! A gold star to whoever can tell me where else we've seen this pose.

Now, at this point in time I should mention that Wolverine has been having a pointless battle with mind-controlled Psylocke and most of everyone else is engaged in some form of non-progressive battle. Just because Wolverine is overexposed in comic books doesn't mean he's getting it here, which is why I failed to comment on it until now.

In this instance, Psylocke is taunting Logan by saying she's not afraid to die. Which thanks to shitty Land, looks more like she's saying she's not afraid to take it from behind.

In the final pages of this issue, we find more sexism. This time from Dr. Nemesis where he says something to Wolverine like, 'Wow, I would've loved to see you get your ass kicked by a bunch of women'. And I hope you get fucking killed off, you goddamn misogynist! I'm so pissed he said that and none of the powerful women in there did anything.

The morning after their encounter. I just love having more fuel for the fire that is Wolverine and Cyclops' secret love. Seriously, both of them shirtless on their own page is good material.

And apparently they're talking about the fact that Wolverine had some of Jean's hair, which I'm sure is just the beginning of his hidden shrine to her, and it was stolen by the Sisterhood. I'm thinking this isn't her time to come back. The writers said it would planned out and delicately looked at. This is about as careful as a drunk guy in room full of fine china.

1 comment:

Clark said...

The woman who Rogue stole her powers did not show up in almost any chapter and I didn't know if she is stayed alive, looks like she died. I liked how Mystique looked in the third movie, that made me feel so excited and I bought generic viagra.