Friday, January 22, 2010

The List #21

First off, I have got to announce a very important change to my blog:
Some of you may have noticed that my images are kinda crap quality on this blog and tend to look sorta scraggly. Apparently my using .jpg for my image type is to blame, so I've switched to .png and it should look worlds better. I'm also going to go back in time and replace some of my old images with clearer ones. I'm not sure how far back I will go, but just something to look forward to.

Uncanny X-Men #520
Writer: Matt Fraction
Artist: Greg Land
To begin, I had no idea that Land was the artist until I got this issue, and I have to say I'm pleasantly surprised. Mainly because Dodson is boring, cheesy, and produces that anime-ish idiotically upbeat tone. At least Land is ridiculous in a way that creates bitchy humor rather than just bitching.

The story begins with a team of Wolverine, Colossus, and Psylocke (all ex-Aussie years members!) being sent to hunt down the last Predator. For all of you Psylocke fans, it's a good month to like her considering her mini-series issue last week, her two appearances this week, and next week her appearance in X-Men Legacy.

They search the sewers and find Fantomex and EVA have done
the job already as well as taken care of the nanite issue. Also, an interesting point that has been brought up a few times, but it's good to note that Betsy's glow that we see apparently is also visible to the X-Men as opposed to most other psychics generally getting glow just for show to the readers.

Anyway, Wolverine tries to get Fantomex to help and Fantomex is all, "Bro, I'm not cool if I look like a joiner!" At
least EVA is characterized interestingly enough especially since we get to see her in spider mode.

Back at Utopia, Namor and Magneto are bromantic. Magneto goes to Cyclops and reveals he fixed the sinking problem behind everyone's back and also brought all the Atlantaens back in that process. Cyclops takes him outside and scolds him, but not before he takes a second to tell Emma that her logical decision of jumping off the sinking ship that is Utopia is stupid. Why? Because Utopia represents Cyclops' ego! It's fragile and poorly put together and requires more attention than its worth! If we abandon it, then we hurt Cyclops' feelings and that's worse than everyone drowning, starving, or sleeping in their own crap! And concerning the almighty verbal bitchslap Cyclops gives to Magneto? Magneto takes it. Yeah. Magneto is so fucking poorly characterized it's obscene how bad it is. His dialogue reads like a bros. And he's tail-between-his-legs at the first hint of irritation from Cyclops. Honestly, Namor, Magneto, and Cyclops' voices sound damned similar in diction and just general personality. Huh. All Fraction's favorite characters. I sure hope all the people applauding his 'excellent characterization' are beginning to regret their words right about now.

Oh and in reaction to Cyclops' disapproval, Magneto runs off to go meditate after having an unimportant conversation with Professor X. Oh and concerning the hunting team, they meet up with the stoppa
ble, unremarkable villains that are only there to say we have villain conflict this arc. That's all. Oh and Wolverine does his best impression of Underworld/Batman/Gargoyles:
Conclusion: This issue wasn't the total piece of shit Uncanny has been as of late. Land is surprisingly bearable, if not welcome, addition this issue. Buy it if you're desperate for a new issue of something.

Dark Avengers #13
Writer: Brian Michael Bendis
Artist: Mike Deodato
This issue of DA is all about everyone's favorite annoying, childish, multiple personalitied (why have two when they both suck I ask?), unoriginally god-like bastard. Who gets defeated in battle like it's no one's business, even Exodus' disrespect in the Messiah Complex can't beat that.

Basically the story is concerning The Sentry and his death a few issues ago
(which one, right?). Anyway, so his wife thinks him dead for real, to which I say, Silly bint he will live until his plot value is fulfilled! Or when Bendis finally understands that The Sentry's fans are few and far too unimportant to matter. Well, anyway, the wife, who reveals herself to be an interesting character or at least for this issue, reveals that The Sentry's original origin story is total crap. Apparently he's a total fucking junkie.

It's pretty amazing, and it continues with a retelling of his origins as a junkie and as not really ever coming off as a superhero. It's a pretty decent story though not one I care to do a play-by-play on. The Sentry eventually comes back to life while the wife admits she should have killed him on their wedding night. It's the Void that's come back and it attempts to kill her, but The Sentry stops it and flies out into a star. He finds out he can't die and apparently he may be giving himself over to The Void. Fin. Conclusion: if you're up for a story that's between ok and good, shell out the cash.

Wolverine: Weapon X #9
Writer: Jason Aaron
Artist: Yanick Paquette
I'm not a Wolverine fan. I think the attention he gets is absurd and he just serves to fulfill a vicarious need for fanboys to feel like they could be badass too. I read this issue for the Psylocke appearance because she is my very special second place in my X-Heart. I wasn't expecting to enjoy this issue at all.

But it was pretty damned neat. Here's the series summary so far for those of you who need to be caught up (Clickety). I do have to say that I find this is the only series of Wolverine I find necessary (and I've sampled the other ones).

Wonderfully enough, this issue's art is done by Yanick Paquette, who I am a fan of (besides his time on Young X-Men) and happen to adore his way of depicting Betsy. Especially because he makes her look convincingly Asian rather than a white woman with sharp features and stereotypically 'Asian' clothes.

The story begins with Garner calling on the X-Men to go find Logan, Psylocke and Nightcrawler being the ones to show. Betsy begins h
er job by getting out all the pertinent and necessary information:
Yet again her backside is relied on for the heavy-hitting. Hmmm.
Kurt and Betsy go to Dr. Rot's lab or however and find that he's made a psychic bomb. These psychic bombs basically looking like a bunch of crowded Martha Johanssons. Psylocke decides to try go about deactivating them with her psychic knife since apparently that's the most delicate way to deal with psychic bombs.

All the while this is going on, the sanitarium is failing at any trace of sanity as the patients are attacking some mob guys. Also, it'd be a good time to mention that this series does not hold back on gore whatsoever, but I'd say it's still within the entertaining category rather than just excessive. Actually, it's sort of creative in the way that it 'goes there'. Patients cannibalizing it up like
zombies and all.

Logan comes out of his insanity long enough to go after the series' villain so far, Dr. Rot. Right off the bat, Logan cuts out the Dr.'s guts but the Dr. seems less than deterred. Especially considering her reacts with a very special gift for Wolverine:

Yeah, I cringed at this too.
Dr. Rot takes off to go find a patient that he can use while Logan is distracted with the needles in his eyes. Funny enough, Dr. Rot is carrying around a giant nutcracker. It's purpose becomes clear a panel later:

With this patients brain, Dr. Rot makes a makeshift psychic bomb that causes everyone, including Kurt and Betsy, to go crazy for 30 seconds.

When they come out of it, Kurt finds he has purple hair is his mouth. Psylocke's of course. Luckily, they're both in two pieces and Dr. Rot gets away to be sewed up. Wolverine goes back to Garner to get coital, and Dr. Rot calls. And the issue ends with us learning the Wolverine has an active trigger now, just like X-23! Yay, reasons for them to bond!

Conclusion: This series is pretty cool, I recommend this issue and I definitely recommend trying the rest of it out which is what I may do.

Spider-Woman #5
Writer: Brian Michael Bendis
Artist: Alex Maleev
Last issue, Jessica was falling to her death after jumping off the Hydra base. This issue she survives, of course, but at least she's banged up and passes out after surviving (I like my comics to be at least somewhat realistic). Jessica ends up with the police and her dealing with them ends up being the center of this issue.

She's as angsty as ever as she deals with the cops giving her a hard time. At least it's more reasonable than the Psylocke series which has more angst than Livejournal.

Anyway, Spider-Woman ends up getting questioned by one cop, she ends up finding out some of the cops are crooked and probably led Hydra to her. In response she scares the cop with her pheromones and tries to get him to tell her who's coming for her. He won't tell her, so she ends up taking her costume back and hitting the road. Which she meets the new Thunderbolts on.

Conclusion: buy this issue if you have already been collecting the series. But not to fear, next issue with the Thunderbolts vs. Spider-Woman is going to be worth reading by all.

No comments: