Sunday, December 6, 2009

The List #16

Uncanny X-Men #518
Writer: Matt Fraction
Artist: Terry Dodson
Ugh, so Dodson's back this issue. Please welcome back cheesy, anime-ish "cuteness" that just dilutes any comic book that isn't centered around teenage superheroes. Very little happens this issue, Magneto's all weak now and he's told he needs to save the ugly island. And Beast, he has such doubts, Sister James (I just watched the last scene of Doubt on Youtube, heh). Anyway, Beast's whining really and it gets tired. Most of the issue focuses on getting the Void out of Emma and it is the slowest plot I have ever seen.

Here's the scene: Scott goes into Emma's head, y'know, rather than Xavier because true love is better than high levels of experience with psychics. See the anime bullshit in here? Anyway, Scott sees Emma in her blank head (nothing but white background, wtf) and then there's other Emma's who start attacking him. And he figures out that they're not Emma except he figures this out like three fucking times. Anyway, it's the fucking Void since we all know it's fucking there in her head and they should, y'know, be prepared to encounter it?

On the other end, Xavier and Psylocke watch over the deal. Psylocke is basically there just to stand around and maybe kill someone if there's trouble. Ah, cameo queening. You may have wondered why I insist that Psylocke is a cameo queen considering she appears more often than the others. This is because no matter how B-going-on-A List she may be, Fraction always uses her like she's a D-Lister. Also, look at the world's most obvious statement from Xavier:

Ya think?
The issue ends with Scott basically saying something to the effect of that Emma's head always looks blank and his is always a hotel functioning as a cat house. That is fucking sad that Fraction is so dense. What should be said is that the landscape of their heads took on what was needed at the time; similar to what they did in the animated television show they had in the 90's. The kids version? Yes, I am saying children's television is smarter than Fraction. The conclusion is that apparently the Void wanted Scott and not Emma. Worst idea EVER. Seriously, powerful (but not omega) telepath or eyebeams? And what is the Void going to do? If it transferred behind everyone's back then it'd be different. Instead it was in front of three telepaths who can send a psychic shout to warn everyone about the problem. Oh whatever, at least the diamond Emma thing is over even though no one should've been able to enter Emma's head when she's in her diamond form. Conclusion: I'm so fucking glad my subscription to this comic just ended. I may very well start skipping issues.

X-Force Annual #1
Writer: Chris Yost and Craig Kyle
Artist: Carlo Barberi
First story is Logan being "badass" with a "heart-touching" plot. So lame. Second one is about Deadpool and is surprisingly good. Now let me explain that I don't generally like Deadpool. He's way too overhyped for the reason of his "explosive action" and "hilarious comedy" that is special since he breaks the fourth wall. Except he does way that too fucking often since writers do not seem to understand funny and just write a bunch of irritating cute-isms that fall flat just like they do with any Runaway's writer after Vaughan writing Molly Hayes. So there's few things about Deadpool that I've ever found funny. But this issue presents an image of Deadpool that I think actually deserves all the hype.

Rather than post all the good snippets, some poster on Scans_Daily did my work for me. So (click here) and I'm just going to make a few comments. First, I love Loa. Not for her personality since she doesn't have one, but for her powers since they're absolutely fun. She could either be one of the X-Men's biggest guns or their glorified paper shredder. And I love both ideas. Also, I love that at least Deadpool remembers continuity which includes the killing of Jean by Magneto since no one buys that Xorn/Sublime retcon. Anddd that last page/panel is the best. And on a final note:

I love this because when it was the animated series I always wondered how effective Wolverine could be with those fracking claws and Xavier's rule of not killing.

Psylocke #2
Writer: Chris Yost
Artist: Harvey Tolibao
This issue is basically a disappointment. I expected it to be a bit of a letdown next to last issue, but this is a bit much. I also tend to side with The Buy Pile's thoughts on this.

Oh by the way, what the fuck is with the sexual posing of the cover? Can we stop with the backside facing the viewer? And that waist is unreal in the most horrible way.

This issue focuses around three things: Wolverine doing his bullshit and getting more overexposure, Psylocke reflecting on her old life and fighting people, and this dumbassed mutant who blows shit up all the time without asking who's responsible for the "cliffhanger" this issue when he sees Betsy and just blows up even though they're on the same side. Ridiculous. Oh and there's a Yukio fight.

Here's something fun though:

Yes, that is a full panel dedicated to her flowing hair.
No cropping, that's the whole panel and I love it.
Almost as much as I love:

Her poised sashes. They're totally snake-like, I wonder if they can just bite people and suck the fabulous out of them for sustenance. Anyway, the conclusion is you should probably buy this issue if you got the first one, but it's definitely not going to be as exciting as last issue.


PGW said...

I love your blog! I check it every day in hope of your scathing condemnations and enthusiastic lashings of praise, they absolutely make my day. Words cannot describe how amazing it is to find both an intelligent blogger writing on the X-Men. Also, I wasn't a huge fan of Emma to begin with, but you converted me!

Mr. Hellfire said...

Thank you very much!:D I'm very thrilled to hear that I've influenced you into Emma Frostism.

FSaker said...

Wow, so you're really not enjoying Psylocke's mini series, are you? I hope I do when it gets released in my country; most fans are praising it so I probably will, but I can understand your complaints.

So Mr. Hellfire, from your reviews, I assume you are the kind of reader that enjoys heroines and villainesses and dislikes when they are objectified and badly represented, is that correct? If it is, I wonder if you will review the annual issue of New Avengers, where the female members of the team are (at least supposedly) the center of the plot, they are the ones who save the day, while Hawkeye (the real one) is the "damsel in distress" in the story, being chained naked in a chair and later having his mind invaded. Then again, it is a Bendis's issue, with all the kinds of qualities and problems one can expect from his work.

Well, I hope you review this issue, I'm sure it will be a lot of fun to read it, as it is fun to read all your reviews!

Mr. Hellfire said...

No no, I love the first Psylocke issue, even if I criticized some issues and thought some things like the animated sashes were ridiculous, I still like the overall product. Second issue was more mediocre to me though.

And yes, I definitely plan on including New Avengers Annual for this week's The List