Wednesday, October 21, 2009

The List #12

Astonishing X-Men #31
Writer: Warren Ellis
Artist: Phil Jimenez

First and foremost I would like to welcome back Astonishing after all this time, most importantly Phil Jimenez who is ideal for this book. That aside, this issue did not wow. Ten pages were spent explaining Abby Brand's situation and the Brood deal. Could have been done in five. Also, I have to wonder what is with the upgrade of Abby Brand's position. She continued into Ellis' Astonishing, is especially featured this arc, probably the most important supporting role in Spider-Woman, and a main character role in the upcoming S.W.O.R.D. I would not question this so much, but she's sort of a stock character. Hardass military woman. Lots of women fill the role in the Marvel universe.

This issue also welcomes back Emma's long-forgotten fangs. Seriously, the bitch is back and Ellis is finally understanding what it means to write her. There are definitely ample bitch faces throughout the issue which is like a personal present of love from Jimenez. He also does another character amazingly:

The Storm shots were epic as long as they weren't from faraway since they tended to get blob-y then.
I have to ask though, who picked out the Astonishing team? The power set is horrible. Three physically-based mutants (Beast, Armor, and Wolverine). Laser eyes with Cyclops. Weather-based powers with Storm. And telepath/physical Emma Frost. This team is definitely poorly balanced power-wise. Like horrifically, I can't imagine how they get things done. And I definitely have a vote for who should be kicked outtttttt. Luckily, Hisako's role this issue was extremely minimal.

This issue centers around getting Agent Brand's plummeting spaceship safely taken care of. She's predictably saved, ship not so much. But the best part is the end of the issue as Emma senses "Laurie Collins". Amazing panels except:

What is with the Farrah Fawcett hair? Seriously, please fix this hair don't, Jimenez.
The revelation is that it's not Laurie, and she goes like a Transformer into a sentinel. Well. Like a Sentinel made by the Evil Dead. Closing thoughts: Despite its underwhelming return, Astonishing is still one of the best X-Books so buy it!

Uncanny X-Men #516
Writer: Matt Fraction
Artist: Greg Land

This issue focuses on simply two things for once: Scalphunter's boring subplot and Magneto wanting to join the X-Men. Lame indeed, Fraction's two recruits could not be more horribly picked out. Two arrogant men. With Cyclops. Yeah. Honestly, this issue just served to prove Fraction can't entertain for crap. Here's a few moments of interest:

He later on explains that the machine that restored his powers made him feel like he was a twenty year old man again. Oh Fraction. Also, when Magneto came back Xavier burst into a full diva routine. Seriously, he was like the angry ex-boyfriend. Who especially peeved that his ex-BF wasn't there for him. Hmmm..... Anyway, this panel was also quite hilarious:

I so want to talk to someone like this. Open my mouth super-wide to say two brief words.

Sic him, Psylocke's ass!
It's all you see of her during her appearance. Maybe that's the source of her power.
Conclusion: Leave this one of the shelf.


Selene said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Selene said...

I became aware of this blog only yesterday.You write the most hilarious reviews! :-D Keep up the good work.

Mr. Hellfire said...

Aww, thanks very much, I try:)