The List #43

New Mutants #18
Writer: Zeb Wells
Artist: Leonard Kirk
The plot thickens this issue as we discover that the Limbo mutant team of superpricks are actually the Inferno babies that the government took over care for. Well, it would seem they've done a fabulous job of raising them as now they're all kinda gross and messed up. Definitely points go to Wells for a nice use of New Mutants continuity that makes it so that knowledge of NM history heightens the drama of the story, but isn't essential to enjoy it.

This issue is basically a fight scene with New Mutants vs. the Inferno babies, and proving, like I've said before, that the New Mutants are a poor team power-wise. All of them get their asses handed to them, even Magma whose likely the group's most powerful member. The unfortunate thing is that these other mutants have odds and ends powers like our heroes (the power of language, invulnerable jet blasts), but theirs are definitely a step above. Except one problem:

Not quite as sexy indeed.

Yeah, these mutants, while actually modified by the gov to be this way, definitely look more like the part of 'mutants' than the NM. Notable brawls this issue included Dani's fight with the sadistic nut who insisted on really giving shit to Dani due to her powerless status. The climax of this is while holding Dani's arm behind her back the evil bitch ends up snapping something. On the other end of the spectrum, Cypher proved to be completely useless as he attempts to stop the battle by talking it out. He then easily gets overtaken by the Inferno mutant who can speak backwards to manipulate people. I'm so not excited for inevitable 'I used the powers of language to turn it back on her!' scene with obligatory 'badass' undertones. Why did Cypher have to resurrected, WHY?

Conclusion: This issue is a decent one in an overall mediocre arc. That's pretty much it.

X-Factor #210
Writer: Peter David
Artist: Valentine De Landro
If you hate Rahne, you'll really hate her this issue. She spends most of the issue picking at Rictor for his relationship with Shatterstar despite being the intruding bitch who's lying about her pregnancy. Also, her and Rictor are sort of together this issue, holding hands and whatnot, and it's just really disgusting how she's completely ok with stomping all over Rictor's relationship with Shatterstar and even going so far as to expect Rictor to be with her on ignoring it. One scene in particular is where she comments on how she never sees Rictor laugh, and then needles him by saying:

Um yeah, bitch and, as the unwanted baby mama, who the fuck are you to be jealous?

Meanwhile this issue Monet shares the spotlight with Rahtor by having a case with a woman who claims to need help erasing her PTSD from having been in Iraq. Despite her instincts saying 'Bitch, something's up', Monet agrees to do it and at the end of the issue it turns out she unlocked this woman's guiltlessness so she can kill as the unheard of villain Ballistique. Too bad I've already seen this episode play out in the Charmed episode 'Primrose Empath'. Sorry Monet, someday you'll do something actually interesting.

Back to the baby mama drama, Rahtor pay a visit to Dr. Castillo who you may remember from the first arc of X-Factor (so very long agoooo) who specializes in superhero anything it seems. While attempting to perform an ultrasound it turns out Rahne's stomach is impenetrable which Dr. Castillo determines to be a mystical block. Uh-oh, shit comes out then, and Rictor turns to Rahne asking her what's up as the issue ends. Yup. That Rahne's a bitchmonster.

Literally.

Conclusion: Pretty good issue, kind of low key, but definitely within the same sort of quality that we've been seeing lately. I'd definitely recommend everyone get in on this melodrama.

The List #42

New Avengers #5
Writer: Brian Michael Bendis
Artist: Stuart Immomen
This week was all about re-asserting how Wolverine is the MOST POWERFUL SUPERHERO IN THE ENTIRE MARVEL UNIVERSE. Sorcerer Supreme? That ain't SHIT next to 9-inch metal claws. The power of the Phoenix? Bitch, have you seen his healing factor? Galactus? Fuck no, Wolvie's fighting training spans centuries, he can kick G-Dawg's ASS!

No seriously. I get pandering to Wolverine fans makes it so that people want to buy the issue, but holy shit, does he always have to be the MOST POWERFUL, BIGGEST THREAT, and RIDICULOUSLY BADASS? The writers do realize that there are people reading who aren't fans of Logan and just can't suspend their disbelief in the face of this ridiculously assertion of Wolverine's importance to everything.

Anyway, besides the ridiculous part at the end where Wolverine is decided to be the best vessel for the combined powers of all everyone there, this arc provided an image of just how ridiculous this book's current cast is (I'd post it, but my blog post's width is too narrow...I'm not even kidding) with 12 characters being involved. Plus Hawkeye for two minutes to tell us he wasn't actually on the team which just read like BMB threw this in the script last second just to make the fanboys aware of the roster. But yeah, the amount of characters involved in this arc is ridiculous, and we were already working with a large cast in the first place.

Oh also at one point the ridiculous amount of chatter was lampshaded through the use of one of the villain-figures commenting on it. K......BMB? Just because you joked it off doesn't make it any less annoying that 12 characters are all talking at the same time with none of it being of any use to the story or just for the purpose of updating the other characters on things that the reader already knows.

X-Men #4
Writer: Victor Gischler
Artist: Paco Medina
This entire book is one big fucking cliche. First, there's vampire cliches where we have Wolverine toting the Vampire cause by trying to persuade the X-Men that it's cool to be vampin' with the most typical dialogue of 'vampire-to-human-persuasion' you could have ever thought up. Also, there was the now really familiar scene of a band playing while there's a fight scene going on around them and people assuming that it's just part of the show. Second, there's the X-Men cliches with the second assertion this week that Wolverine IS THE MOST VALUABLE X-MAN. Then there's the whole cliche possessed person dialogue where the characters try reasoning with the possessed person even though they know that character is not themself. Honestly, X-Men thus far is a really big piece of fanfic, and it's really failing to justify why it's existence is necessary. Now onto the poll:

This past poll turned out some good results especially with the option for multiple answers. It seems you guys fucking hate Darwin considering he was the consistent leader of this poll. This probably the only way he'd ever get that much attention. The next person on our collective shit-list is that bitch Rahne and I have to say at that point it thrills me to know we're all on the same page here. Longshot and Strong Guy then followed which I have to say are strong choices. Then it followed with Shatterstar, Monet, and Multiple Man at the bottom of the voted-for list. Most surprisingly, despite the option to choose the entire cast if one so chose, it seems no votes went out to Rictor, Siryn, or Layla Miller. Anyway, thanks to everyone who voted on this poll, very fun results, and please do go vote on the next one.

The List #41

Avengers Academy #5
Writer: Christos Gage
Artist: Jorge Molina
Striker receives the spotlight this issue and let me just say he is so much more interesting than that f#@%ing Mettle. Also, it's important to note that the artist for this issue was fucking hilarious and just added that much more to the joy, laughter, and fun of this issue.

Basically, Striker's the arrogant famewhore of the team, and this issue we learn where this all stems from....as he tells it to Jocasta. Who's in sleep mode. But could wake up at any time and listen in on all his secrets that he's spilling to her. Yeah, that's important later...

Striker's past rotates around his mother, who's had her 15 minutes of fame after being the other woman in a political sex scandal, who attempts to take the defibrillators to what she's already lost by making her son a child actor. This leads her to choosing a creeper agent who manages to get Striker and his mother parts. And also tries to molest Striker which triggers his powers....yeah, what a disturbing way to discover superpowers. From there he eventually finds himself with Osborn and then the A.A.

Back in the details of his past week, Striker recounts how he hit on Finesse and Veil. <---And here's the face he uses to seduce the girls. Surprisingly, they managed to turn down that sexy expression. Also, he, like many men, fails to realize his own over-inflated ego is functioning as a complete cockblock. Later on during that week Hank Pym takes the whole group out to see Wicked for a thinly veiled lesson about good deeds done by evil people and all that crap. He manages to get everyone in by shrinking both Mettle and Hazmat so that they don't cause a stir and also neglects to tell the other students they were there as well until after the show. All of the students react with surprise, but Veil's definitely wins the prize for most obnoxious/hilarious reaction. Seriously, this is my favorite face of the issue-->

After this, Whirlwind shows up to battle Pym which leads to the students joining the fight, and finally leads to the public outing of the Avengers Academy to the media. The outing goes over better than expected, and Veil goes to tell Justice, her teacher crush, all about it and ends up walking in on this:

This moment was so uncomfortable for so many reasons. One of them being that this looks more like Justice is drinking from a coconut with a wig on it than making out with a girl.
And here's Veil's reaction:

Crying over her crooked eyes.

Later on, "over" her crush on Justice, she goes to Striker's room, kisses him, and asks if he wants to hook up. He says sure and then that leads to this face--->

No, I'm kidding, that's just the look on his face that he gets from calling his mom.....no legit, pick up the issue, it's true. Anyway, Striker turns into a sudden gentleman and follows his sure with a claim that he's too tired and insists on just talking. Which is great because I'd rather not have my adorkable Veil tarnished by Striker and his insecure ego.

Following this he goes to call his mom. It turns out that the outing of the A.A. was all a plan devised by him and his mother, and the evidence of his evil plotting is revealed by the shadow mustache he gets while discussing this. Seriously, facial hair=how you know if someone's evil or not. Oh and also, keep in mind all this goes before Jocasta's seemingly vacant eyes. So yeah, Striker's finally got his famewhore wishes fulfilled by manipulation and luckily it makes for a good issue. I still think he's a carbon copy of New X-Men's Hellion though.

Uncanny X-Force #1
Writer: Rick Remender
Artist: Jerome Opena
So Uncanny X-Force has finally released and it's quite possibly the most 'badass' book with the most 'badass' team in the entire Marvel universe. And that's exactly why I feel ambivalently towards it.

Deadpool's the same as always in this book: Chattering away like a coke addict, grasping desperately for a joke that's actually funny. And then there's Fantomex who's playing the whole, "I'm quirky, lucid insane!" angle and also grasping desperately for jokes that are actually funny. And these two are a badass pair and Wolverine makes it EXTRA badass and the really dark Archangel makes this unbelievably DARKLY BADASS. I'd make a joke on this Testosterfest except Deadpool and Fantomex have basically fished that lake dry with their constant attempts at humor.

Concerning the only team member I really give a damn about, Psylocke, she's so far confirmed my fears about her role. Basically my concern was that with her being the token female of the group that her story would mostly be about serving the other men's stories as well as being the token female being fought over. Which really just, y'know, empowers her. So far I'm right on both counts, Fantomex has already expressed interest in her even though she's back with Warren. And concerning her resurrected relationship, it seems that she's using her psychic powers to help Warren deal with his Death persona. I mean, yes, as he was previously consistently on a team book he's already got a storyline that's in progress while Betsy's is sort of muddled with great writers taking stabs at it but never really keeping her long enough to really get something going with her. Still, I hope this sort of thing is simply for the opening issues and doesn't continue on from there.

Moving on, the art of this book is absolutely amazing and big draw for the book. I imagine those of you who've seen the preview know this already and I will just continue to say it's consistently amazing throughout the issue.

Anyway, I'm not going to run through the play-by-play of the issue because it's a lengthy first issue, but basically it has to do with X-Force trying to thwart the resurrection of Apocalypse and battling his horsemen and not really getting him and all that and oh yeah, now he's a kid. Yeah, strange. Also, his Horsemen look so much better this time around:

Conclusion: The art and events of this book so far are top-notch and worthy of the hype while the male team members leave something to be desired (but keep in mind I always think of them that way). And Betsy's role right now is iffy. But anyway, in the end I say pick up this book because it's looking to be joining X-Men Legacy in being one of the better X-Books.