The List #12

Astonishing X-Men #31
Writer: Warren Ellis
Artist: Phil Jimenez

First and foremost I would like to welcome back Astonishing after all this time, most importantly Phil Jimenez who is ideal for this book. That aside, this issue did not wow. Ten pages were spent explaining Abby Brand's situation and the Brood deal. Could have been done in five. Also, I have to wonder what is with the upgrade of Abby Brand's position. She continued into Ellis' Astonishing, is especially featured this arc, probably the most important supporting role in Spider-Woman, and a main character role in the upcoming S.W.O.R.D. I would not question this so much, but she's sort of a stock character. Hardass military woman. Lots of women fill the role in the Marvel universe.

This issue also welcomes back Emma's long-forgotten fangs. Seriously, the bitch is back and Ellis is finally understanding what it means to write her. There are definitely ample bitch faces throughout the issue which is like a personal present of love from Jimenez. He also does another character amazingly:

The Storm shots were epic as long as they weren't from faraway since they tended to get blob-y then.

I have to ask though, who picked out the Astonishing team? The power set is horrible. Three physically-based mutants (Beast, Armor, and Wolverine). Laser eyes with Cyclops. Weather-based powers with Storm. And telepath/physical Emma Frost. This team is definitely poorly balanced power-wise. Like horrifically, I can't imagine how they get things done. And I definitely have a vote for who should be kicked outtttttt. Luckily, Hisako's role this issue was extremely minimal.

This issue centers around getting Agent Brand's plummeting spaceship safely taken care of. She's predictably saved, ship not so much. But the best part is the end of the issue as Emma senses "Laurie Collins". Amazing panels except:

What is with the Farrah Fawcett hair? Seriously, please fix this hair don't, Jimenez.

The revelation is that it's not Laurie, and she goes like a Transformer into a sentinel. Well. Like a Sentinel made by the Evil Dead. Closing thoughts: Despite its underwhelming return, Astonishing is still one of the best X-Books so buy it!

Uncanny X-Men #516
Writer: Matt Fraction
Artist: Greg Land

This issue focuses on simply two things for once: Scalphunter's boring subplot and Magneto wanting to join the X-Men. Lame indeed, Fraction's two recruits could not be more horribly picked out. Two arrogant men. With Cyclops. Yeah. Honestly, this issue just served to prove Fraction can't entertain for crap. Here's a few moments of interest:

He later on explains that the machine that restored his powers made him feel like he was a twenty year old man again. Oh Fraction. Also, when Magneto came back Xavier burst into a full diva routine. Seriously, he was like the angry ex-boyfriend. Who especially peeved that his ex-BF wasn't there for him. Hmmm..... Anyway, this panel was also quite hilarious:

I so want to talk to someone like this. Open my mouth super-wide to say two brief words.

Sic him, Psylocke's ass!
It's all you see of her during her appearance. Maybe that's the source of her power.

Conclusion: Leave this one of the shelf.

The List #11

Runaways #14
Writer: Kathryn Immomen
Artist: Sara Pichelli

In this final issue for at least the year, if not more, (Runaways, like X-Factor, is getting a reboot) we're once again shown why it's going off the shelves for a little. Awkward, boring dialogue from a writer who is essentially out-of-touch with teenagers and trying to sound hip. It fails so horribly. Basically, a big part of this issue is Chase being emotional and dark, which is a side of the character that has never been popular. That and some fake Gert is running around. Or at least I think that's how it works. But for all of Immomen's failings, she does manage to write "Gert", my favorite Runaways, a line worthy of her.

X-Force #19
Writers: Chris Yost and Craig Kyle
Artists: Mike Choi and Sonia Oback

Unfortunately, this issue failed to follow up last issue's amazingness. Instead, the story is mainly a bland look at X-23 running with some woman through The Facility. And my boyfriend Warpath doesn't even get a panel. What's weird about this issue is:

Child abuse is on the rise at Xavier's. Seriously Domino, the girls are still 16 years old for Christ's sake, go take your anger out on God for not making you the man you clearly are. Especially with this unjustified act of WTFaggression. Rockslide and Colossus'/Cyclops' weird man fights are strange enough, this is ridiculous. But Domino is right in calling the Cuckoos 'Emma lite'. Even though Emma right now is Emma lite.

In other news, Wolfsbane can go die now. Never have liked the character. EVER. And I've read her in lots of different periods. That and Selene is bucking for Emma's most naked female character title.

That and apparently Destiny is going to be part of Necrosha which is a fun twist. Especially since the X-Men's pool of the dead is so small what with pointless resurrections taking place every week. And that's it for X-Force for this month.

Gotham City Sirens #4
Writer: Paul Dini
Artist: Guillem March

One summarizing word: BLAND! But at least Ivy has a recurring role of saving the day.

New Mutants #5
Writer: Zeb Wells
Artist: Zachary Baldus

Another subpar story this week. (I know that my bitching about how disappointing these issues are is only so interesting, but Astonishing X-Men #31 is coming out tomorrow, so expect a good review!) The main factor for fail in this issue was the artist. Severely cringeworthy, people. Good things: Dani got some spotlight and it looks like she'll be a positive role model for what a woman is capable of like Mohawk Storm was. Bad: "Evil" Illyana is wearing punk clothes now as a sign of her "Badness". You fucking kidding me? Why must we stereotype among all of us outcast-based groups? That and Dr. Nemesis:

What a sketch he looks like in this panel. That and this man's pointless insults and overblown narcissism is tired. He's a House ripoff and should've been the member of the Science Team to die. He's not "badass", he's someone pathetically trying to act "badass".

X-Factor #49
Writer: Peter David
Artist: Valentine De Landro

K, so screw talking about this issue in entirety since I'm honestly bored by X-Factor at the moment. BUT we do have Ricstar love this issue, so I'm going to go over that starting with:

Confirmation that they were a couple before!

This issue finally gets out in the open Rictor's sexuality. But it also takes away panel time for additional Ricstar smoochies since Strong Guy and Rictor have an awkward conversation about the sexuality deal for like 8 pages. Or so it felt at least. Besides, I'd appreciate relationship-building to be seen rather than implied like it is in Young Avengers. Also, negative point is Shatterstar, though obviously in love with Rictor, refers to their coupling as a "friendship," and he also kisses Val when he meets her, taking a big amount of charge out of the Ricstar kiss and sort of insulting it. Hopefully issue 50 is MUCH better. And that concludes the review, I leave you with cuteness: